You have an Addiction
by Dragontiger96
Summary: Post Carnival. The carnival was over, but life continued. Unfortunately, it's harder to look to the future than it is to live in the past. MaiNao
1. Chapter 1

Well, I've finally made a Mai Hime fic, even though it wasn't the one I was planning. This was a spur of the moment story that popped into my head while showering. Features Mai/Nao as the crack pairing. Reviews are much appreciated.

"You have an addiction," is what she told me. I thought she was lying, just another crap story to get me to listen to her. In retrospect, I suppose she really cared.

I didn't really think about it at first. It was fun to lure men into dark alleyways in the middle of the night. They were the scum of the Earth, so willing to corrupt the mind of underage girls. The bastards deserved to be punished. It didn't hurt that their wallets were filled with money just waiting to be taken.

After the Carnival, I could no longer call on Juliet to tie up my prey, but a few martial arts classes and close combat lessons from Akira solved the problem. HIMEs were stronger than normal girls were anyway. I could take a few punches, but the key was moving fast enough to avoid them.

I usually took money and clothes. There wasn't a chance in hell those dirty bastards would report it, not with what I could tell the cops. Some of them fought back though, as if the knife I was holding against their throat wasn't frightening enough. Some of them were good at fighting back, and that's how I got to my situation today.

My whole body was aching from the last man who thought he could take me. He wasn't a fighter, but strong enough to rough me up a little. A couple of well-placed kicks made him crumple to the ground like a pile of trash. It wasn't a big deal. Himes healed quickly due to a leftover effect from the Carnival.

Anyway, here I was jumbling through my keys in front of the door when Mai's voice surprised me from behind. "Another rendezvous in the city?" She quickly unlocked the door and let me inside.

Don't misunderstand; we weren't roommates. I got lucky and ended up living with that hyperactive ball of hunger, who still likes to drag around a gigantic sword. Believe me; it wasn't by choice.

Mikoto graciously offered Mai a place to stay after she ended her three-year relationship with Tate. The two simply got bored of each other or something. It was unclear, but seemed like a mutual breakup. They still acted civil, even friendly around one another. I didn't particularly care.

That was nearly two months ago. Her reason for staying, as described by the untamed creature known as my roommate, was that she couldn't afford to live on her own. Loans from her brother's heart surgery had to be paid. She couldn't afford college so took culinary classes between shifts at the diner. For now, she still hasn't achieved any certification.

We walked into the room to see Mikoto sprawled over one bed. Mai sighed as she placed her keys on the kitchen counter. She probably had another long day at work. Both of us eyed the bathroom door. Who goes first?

I liked my privacy. These days, she probably wanted hers as well. However, both of us were exhausted. Compromising didn't seem like a bad idea. "Let's just wash up together, so we can sleep."

She nodded her head.

Mai was already sitting in the water by the time I got into the bathroom. The air felt hotter as steam continuously rose from the water. I couldn't help but notice her very large breasts. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't attracted to women at all. If anything, her chest was simply an anomaly. Something I could laugh at and recoil in shock from. It was bizarre for a Japanese girl to be proportioned in such a way. We're not exactly known for big chest sizes after all.

She told me that she planned to get breast reduction surgery someday. I was taken aback at the time. Why would anyone wish for breast reduction? Health issues she stated. Apparently, her chest size would lead to back problems in the future, if they haven't already begun. It made a lot of sense, so having large boobs did have their drawback, go figure.

I got into the water. God it burned so much when the water began seeping into my skin and reopening my cuts. I hated scabs for softening underwater; it allowed the searing heat to infiltrate my already painful scars.

She gasped when she saw my body. "Nao, where did you get those?"

"They're nothing. Don't worry about it," I responded hastily. Last thing I needed was the overly protective mother figure to get on my case about my late night hobby.

Mai huffed at my attitude. "Your wincing face tells me that they're more than nothing."

"It's none of your business," I snapped. Why wouldn't she let it go? I just wanted to sleep.

She looked at me in that annoying way a mother does when scolding a child; I hate that look. "You're my friend, so it is my business."

"We're not friends." I replied coldly. I didn't have friends, I didn't have anyone. I used to have my mother, but after she woke up in the hospital, all she could do was scream. The doctors told me that she had suffered from a traumatic event. Idiots! Of course she was traumatized. I was there, watching, hiding in the closet when she was attacked and raped by three men. They stayed there, violating her for the entire night before beating her into a coma. Hell, I was traumatized. The whole time I wanted to scream, but couldn't. I was so afraid that they would do something to me, so I just watched while muffling my screams in a tear soaked sweater. Some daughter I am.

After that, she was placed into the mental ward of the hospital. I still visited her every week, but all she did was huddle in a corner mumbling. I wasn't really sure what she talked about. Sometimes I'd try talking to her only to have her stare at me as if I was a total stranger. Not even my own mother could recognize me anymore.

I hated them, those bastards who hurt my mom. I wanted to hunt them down, slice them up piece by piece, starting with their genitals, so I went out every night. Secretly, I hoped to run into the men who made me who I was today. They raped my mother, beat her, and scarred her. It was their fault I became a HIME. Maybe I wouldn't have become this vindictive, sociopathic bitch I am now.

Mai pursed her lips at my statement. "We are friends. After the all that we went through in the Carnival, there is no way we aren't friends."

"That's crap. You and I didn't go through anything together. We suffered in our own ways, through our own paths. I didn't even fight against you." I glared at her.

"All that matters is we survived together. Our suffering is connected by our understanding of each other's pain." she grabbed her hair in frustration. "You're making me go off topic. Those cuts are from those guys you've been meeting at night right?"

"So what if they are. They're a lot worse off, believe me." I crossed my arms and turned my head. What did it matter if she knew or not. I was even a little proud that I could kick their asses.

"Nao, we've been over this. You need to stop luring men. It's dangerous," she said. Mai placed her hand over mine and gave me that motherly look that made children feel guilty. Damn, it worked on me too.

"I-" I stuttered, "I can't. They need to be stopped."

She sighed, "Don't do the police's job for them."

"If they did their jobs properly, I wouldn't have to," I growled back.

"No Nao, they do them fine. You're just unsatisfied." She leaned back to her side of the bath tub.

"Damn right, why should I be after what those guys did to my mother? They were never caught either." Things were getting heated now. Mai had no right to lecture me about my behavior. She never suffered the same way I did; all she had was a sick little brother. Sure that was responsibility, but hardly trauma.

"Nao, the police are doing fine. You're just looking for an excuse."

"Excuse for what!"

"You have an addiction." She firmly stated.

That was bullshit. People got addicted to drugs, not luring and entrapping perverted men. I could stop anytime; it wasn't as if I needed it to survive. It wasn't like I physically needed to go out, hunt down guys via my cell phone and take their money and clothes.

Mai was talking shit.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

I was throwing back shots with Natsuki in her office. Yes, she had an office now. Four years of paying off Yamada left little money for college and barely acceptable grades did not earn scholarships. Instead, she utilized the only skill she had: information trading. She ran a private investigation office in the city nearby Fuuka Academy.

Most of her cases involved lost pets, but once in a while, she got other ones. Sometimes they required Yamada; sometimes they required me. Hey, it wasn't as if my night life only involved leading guys into dark alleyways. Actually, a lot of information passed through my hands. Most of it I don't share, and some of it comes at a price.

Today my price was that nice scotch she'd been saving up for Shizuru's biannual visit. Mommy and Daddy demanded that proper girl return home right after graduation. They set up admission from some local college for her to attend. I was surprised. Here I thought that she would take off to Tokyo University, because she was amazing. Turned out, she had mediocre grades and class presidents were a dime a dozen. She was brilliant, but lazy. I wonder what she did as class president then.

The two girls were still together. It's a wonder how; I mean - they only saw each other twice a year. The visits only lasted a couple of days. Whatever it was, Natuski didn't really share, so I didn't really ask.

She wanted to know about a minor punk named Ohtsuka. He apparently owed a lot of money to a local gambling parlor. As usual I gave her the necessary information provided to me by some very observant panhandlers. People would be surprised at how much the street dwellers knew. Those guys knew how hide their presence, so people did things in front of them that they wouldn't do in front of their peers.

We were talking now, not like there was anything else to do. My plans for the night got ruined when some idiot decided to shoot a cop three days before. They didn't catch him, so the entire department mobilized to patrol downtown where the crime occurred. Fucker, why couldn't he shoot the bastard somewhere else? Here I was, talking to Natsuki Kuga about cooking.

"I like to put ketchup on pot stickers," she told me.

"I thought you were a mayo girl," I replied. This was lame.

"No, mayonnaise is just a condiment. I may mix it with strange things, but that doesn't mean I put it on everything." She replied. Natsuki was bored, I could tell. She looked out the window with a forlorn expression. What the fuck? I'm not that boring. She was the one who brought up cooking in the first place.

She turned her head towards me, "I really shouldn't have given you that scotch."

"Then you would've lost out on a thousand dollar contract." I replied. Screw the minimum age requirements, they exist because someone out there thought drinking was immoral, but couldn't convince everyone to stop. Instead, the ass convinced everyone to put up an age rule.

"You're right, but if a cop comes in here – you stole it from me." As expected from a private eye. When in doubt, blame someone else.

"Whatever, just don't pin that weapons stash you keep under the floorboards on me." I replied.

She nodded and grinned, and then her lips drew into a line. "That reminds me, Mai told me about your conversation the other day."

I was hoping to forget that; it was part of the reason I lowered the price in favor of some mind numbing alcohol. "Mai's fucking nuts."

Natsuki crossed her arms and sternly looked at me. Why did I suddenly feel like I was getting scolded? "Nao, you really do have a problem."

"What do you care? If it weren't for my _problem_ you wouldn't solve half your cases." I yelled.

"The work I pay you for doesn't involve endangering yourself every night. You need to stop." She slammed her hand on the table, as if she had any authority.

"Fuck you!" I yelled back and left. Natsuki has turned on me too. She had no right to lecture me about safety, especially when she's been dealing with guys like Yamada since junior high. Hypocrite, I didn't need to deal with her.

I wandered the streets for a while. Mai would just lecture me more at home. Mikoto would sit to the side, nodding and grunting in agreement. Stupid brat really needed a mind of her own.

The sky darkened, but remained a brown color. It was cloudy, yet didn't feel like rain weather. The police didn't appear to be patrolling tonight; maybe they got their man. I looked up and contemplated my life. I don't have an addiction. I clean up the streets, make it safer for other girls. Guys who were stupid enough to follow me were weaklings. They took girls, because they were afraid of real women. They teamed up, because they didn't have the courage to face someone alone. I could beat the crap out of them. I could probably kill them if I wanted to, but that would be bothersome. What would I do with the body?

"Hey baby, you lost?" A voice behind me called out, great, another target for tonight.

He almost literally slithered up close to me. Dirty bastard, I could smell his desire from ten feet away. I flashed him a smile and replied, "Why I am, would you be kind enough to lead me back to the main street?"

His face lit up. A sick feeling rose up in the pit of my stomach, but I ignored it. Just wait till we get to a more private area. He calmly took my arm and began leading me toward the warehouse district. Idiot, didn't he know those were patrolled by the hour. I suppose he didn't need an hour, probably not even five minutes to finish up what he planned.

We arrived at an empty aluminum warehouse. I feigned shock as we entered the building. "Hey mister, this isn't a street anymore." My hand began reaching for the knife I kept in my back pocket.

"Don't pull that shit with me bitch!" He yelled. "You don't recognize me?"

This time I really was surprised. Shit, I must have gotten this asshole before.

He pulled out a gun. "You cost me everything!"

I held up my hands and slowly began to walk around him. "It's not my fault you're a pervert."

This just pissed him off more. "Fucking whore," he shouted. "You're the one who lured me!" He fired a shot. It grazed my shoulder.

"Shit," I screamed and grabbed the wound in pain. He smiled and aimed again, but too bad he didn't know much about fighting. Guns were good for distance, but within twelve feet, knives were far more effective. I rushed him and managed to sink my blade into his chest.

He growled in pain, and tried to shoot me point blank. I twisted the blade; he screamed and dropped his gun. Now he just lay there, gurgling blood. I let go when I was sure he stopped breathing and fell backwards. My heart raced from the adrenaline.

I wasn't aware of when the security guards arrived. They must have heard the gunshots. The guy wasn't using a silencer, so it must have been loud. They found me covered in blood, most of it was his. The policemen questioned me for a little bit, but released me to the paramedics without much trouble. I led them to believe my actions were in self defense, and there was no evidence to suspect otherwise. They didn't bother with much of an investigation; the guy lost his job, his wife and his children. No one cared that he was gone.

Everyone visited me at the hospital. Even Midori sent me a get-well card from Uzbekistan, or wherever she was at the moment. I didn't really pay attention to them. I nearly lost my life. Those men are cowards. They didn't have lives outside of hurting girls. That guy, he showed up with a gun; he was angry because he lost everything he cared about.

The third day after the incident I was sitting alone in the dorm room. Mikoto was out on a play date with her brother. My arm was still healing, and the incident left me with a legitimate excuse to skip class. Mai chose that moment to walk in with an arm full of groceries.

I looked over at her trying to juggle the bags. "Mai," I spoke.

"Yes?" She looked irritated that I wasn't going over to help her. A bag of pretzels dropped from the pyramid of food she held.

"You were right, I do have a problem." All the groceries dropped to the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3

Mai got pissed at me. I said she was right didn't I. There was a problem, but it wasn't addiction. I just needed a new system and was hoping that she would have some input. Maybe I shouldn't have asked her first.

The sky was dimming; it was almost time for my hunt. I had been working on my current target for the last month. We constantly sent each other text messages, which mainly consisted of sexual innuendos, nothing that could tie us to any particular crime. Still, I briefly wondered if this one would turn out like the man I killed.

We arranged to meet at nine next to a lesser known gentleman's club. Back alleys around there were off limits though; Yakuza didn't like outsiders committing crimes on their turf. I had to think of a way to steer the guy away from the area. Now that I thought about it, he'd better not have gang affiliations; it would bring unnecessary trouble to me.

For now, I wandered around the shopping district. I couldn't go home, because Mikoto was angry with me too. Mai lost half the eggs when she dropped the grocery bags in surprise, and refused to buy more. Mikoto saw her meal ration lowered this week and decided it was my fault. It figures she would side with her food source. Damn Mai and her influence. I bet even Shiho would have sided with Mai. Fucking woman is loved by everyone. Why did I have to play the villain?

I stopped next to a homeless man in the park. He and I recognized each other, but never shared our names. We talked a little about the various new underprivileged migrants in the city, some were kids, but most were adults. I often dropped off part of my nights earnings. At first it was to keep him quiet. He noticed when I would leave with various men and come back alone. Neither of us was stupid. I knew he had to notice me for coming so often, so after finishing, I would come by and drop off some of my earnings. He would smile knowingly and thank me by nodding his head in an enthusiastic manner. He toothlessly grin to greet me every time.

Eventually, our little partnership became more useful. When Natsuki approached me for the first time for information, I went to him. This old man knew a lot more than I would have imagined. He was well connected too. The homeless networking system was low tech, but extremely useful. Of course, he was well compensated for his contribution.

After a while, I looked at my cell. It was time to meet my new friend. He showed up wearing cargo pants and a t-shirt. The guy was about twenty-five and didn't seem to out of the ordinary. "Hey," I greeted. He smiled and said the same in return.

Right off the bat I knew he didn't have Yakuza connections. Mafia guys all dressed a certain way and people like me could tell. Still, it was best not to mug a guy on their immediate property, so I led him away with sweet words. "The alley next to the south apartments has more privacy," I claimed. It was partially true.

He readily agreed and we found ourselves in the darkness, stuck between a dumpster and fire escape ladders. Shuuichi, as I knew him as, began making his move. He held my hand and asked if I wanted to have fun. I smiled in return and told him we'd be having fun soon enough.

He grinned and moved to kiss me. I pulled out my knife and pressed the cold steel against his throat.

"What the hell?" He demanded. I smiled widely.

Half an hour later he was sitting on the ground completely naked. I had him tie himself to a pipe with some twine that I kept in my pocket. It was only one hand, so he would get free, but it would keep him there long enough for me to disappear into the streets. It didn't matter if he had humongous strength; twine hurt like hell, because it dug into the skin.

I got home at eleven. At that time, Mikoto would be asleep and Mai would still be at work cleaning up the store. I walked in only to see Aoi sitting on a chair in the center of the room. Natsuki was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. Mikoto had seated herself Indian style on a bed, and Mai was standing right in front of me with both hands at her sides in an angry manner.

"This is an intervention," said Mai. Mikoto enthusiastically nodded and smiled. I wondered if she knew what was going on.

My jaw dropped open. "What the fuck?" I glared at her.

Aoi drew her shoulders back, drew in a large breath of air and stared right into my eyes. "Everyone's concerned about you. You can't keep going on like this," she lectured. "We know you feel you need to go out every night, but it's dangerous. That guy who attacked you is just one of many, and who knows what else will happen next time. We just don't want to see you get hurt," she finished.

They just stared at me for a response. I stood there with my veins bulging out of my head in anger. What the hell did they think they were doing? This was not helping me at all; this was interrupting my nice dorm life and keeping me away from sleep. I did plan to attend class the next day. "What the fuck?" I looked over to Natsuki who wistfully stared out the window. Maybe she'd side with me.

She glanced at me and caught the questioning look in my eye. "Life sucks live with it," was all she said before kicking herself off the wall and leaving the room. Mai tried to stop her, but Natsuki just glared at the redhead in return.

"Well that could've been less cryptic," said Mai after Natsuki left the room.

I lifted an eyebrow with skepticism. At least Natsuki didn't support them either. Now I just concentrated on the two unwelcomed guests and my roommate. There were a number of plans for escape, all of which involved loss of sleep. Damn, I really need to go to class tomorrow. Maybe I could crash at Shiho's, not that we were friends, but she did have the space.

As if recognizing my intent, Mai spoke up. "Don't even think about running away."

"What am I supposed to do with everyone ganging up on me like this?" I yelled defensively.

"Look, we just want to help you!" she yelled back.

"I don't that kind of help!" Was I supposed to be grateful?

Aoi stood up and got between the two of us. Pushing us apart, she said, "Nao, we know you've been after the guys who raped your mom, but you'll never find them this way."

That was the last straw. "You leave my mom out of this!" I shoved both girls back. Screw them, I headed for the door.

At the last moment, Mai grabbed my arm. Out of instinct, I pulled out my knife and cut her. She yelped in pain and grabbed the wound to stop the bleeding. Immediately I regretted it.

"Mai, I'm " Mikoto suddenly jumped out at me with her sword fully drawn.

Mai frowned, and calmly stood up straight. With tears in her eyes she said, "Fine, we'll stop. You don't want our help." She walked out the door behind me. The two other girls followed. Their eyes refused to meet mine. Now I was truly alone.

Please review.


	4. Chapter 4

Notes: Meh, after my bit about Shizuru a couple of chapters ago, less hits appeared on the third chapter. I swear I have damn good reasons. Oh well. Again, these chapters will likely be edited someday, until then, please tolerate my grammatical errors.

The next day I went to visit my mother. There was one thing constant in my life, and she was it. Even if she wasn't the way I wish she could be, my mother would always be with me.

I greeted the secretary at the entrance. The old woman recognized me since I visited so often. "Missed you last week," she said and smiled.

"School event," I lied and waved to her. She handed me the sign in sheet and gave me a name tag. An orderly came by and escorted me to my mother. She shared a room with another patient who occasionally saw ghosts. I didn't really think that one was particularly crazy, but apparently, her parents thought so.

My mother was scrunched up in the corner again. She couldn't actually walk. Seven years in a coma caused the muscles to break down from lack of use, and she was too crazy to enter any type of physical therapy program. Instead, the orderlies told me that she often crawled out of bed with her arms to hide in any dark spot available in the room. If the lights were on, she'd scramble for the spot between the bed and the ground. I sighed when I first saw it. My mother used to be a powerful lawyer, to see her in this state saddened me to no end. I still loved her. When I was young, I idolized her. Once I'm capable, I'd bring her home to take care of her, but for now, she was stuck in this shithole.

She sat still with her back against the wall. Her eyes transfixed on an invisible object in front of her. "No" she would mumble, "Please stop." In fear, she'd shake her head in helplessness.

"Mama, it's ok. It's just me," I pleaded. "There is no one there." For a moment, her eyes would see me as if she knew me, but the moment passed quickly. Once more she found something behind my head that scared her, and she started screaming. The orderlies were forced to come around and subdue her while she flailed her arms to resist.

They injected a sedative into her system. She quickly calmed down and fell asleep. After, they carefully placed her onto her small bed. Tears dropped from my eyes as I slowly patted her hair while she slept. I talked to her. She was the only family I had. I told her about Mai, my nightly activities and how much I missed her.

In her slumber she had already heard the story of the Himes. She heard my version of it more than once. I'd tell her anything to get her to wake up from her nightmare. I needed her.

It was raining when I got back outside that day. I covered my head with my thin jacket while running towards the bus stop. At that moment I ran into him. A man in his mid-forties wearing a black business suit looked down on me and nodded his head in a greeting. He smiled and gestured for me to get on the bus first after it pulled into the station. I froze, this man, I knew him. He broke into my house. He raped my mother. He didn't recognize me.

I tried not to scowl or stab him right there. My blood boiled with hatred, but I just calmly got onto the bus. He looked so happy, so normal. From experience, I knew that the normal ones were the dangerous ones. People never suspected them; they only noticed those who stood out. Now he was sitting three rows ahead of me, happily waiting for his stop. What right did he have to be happy after taking everything from me?

I followed him home. It was a nice two story house with a quaint little front yard. Two children came running out to greet him. "Welcome home daddy," they shouted with glee. I could see his wife working in the back through the front door. She was probably making dinner.

My hands tightened into fists. That son of a bitch was here living a life in luxury, where my mother was stuck in a hell hole living in an unending nightmare. His children had two loving parents. I got stuck in an orphanage. The workers there weren't bad per se, but probably too experienced. They classified us into two groups, the wounded or the broken. I was broken and no one wanted to adopt a broken child. There was no such thing as justice.

I waited until midnight before sneaking in. Breaking into the cheap lock was simple. Locks only kept out gentlemen. The living room was charming. A few pictures of the family were displayed by the door. I sneered at it. He had everything, a nice house, a great family and what appeared to be a stable job if his business suit was any indication of his status. All in all, I just wanted to kill him.

Sneaking up to the main bedroom was easy. The stairs didn't creak much, which meant his wife must have kept the house clean. I peeked inside to see the couple sound asleep. Looking down on him now, he seemed far less frightening than I remembered.

It suddenly struck me. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this man wasn't one of the men who broke into my house. Maybe this was a case of mistaken identity. After all, I was young and afraid. Maybe I was just projecting my anger on some unsuspecting guy who didn't deserve what I was about to do. I panicked and stepped back. I had to find proof that this was him.

Quickly and silently I began shuffling through their things. Her jewelry box had some nice trinkets, but I wasn't about to rob some random woman. A few large bills were hidden in a mystery novel by the bedside. There was nothing in the bedroom.

I paused; there was very little chance of finding proof that he was guilty of hurting my mother let alone anything else. Still, if I was to hide anything about a crime, and I was a businessman, I'd probably hide it in my office. I just hoped this man had an office room in this rather spacious house.

It was there right beside his bedroom. It was neat and orderly, there was no way anything was here. A few files were placed on the desk. I turned on the desk lamp and skimmed over them. Most of them were too complicated for me to understand. A few contracts and other signed documents appeared in the files. A few of them had floor plans for a local office building. So this guy was a businessman who dealt with what appeared to be realty.

Shuffling in the hallway told me it was time to go. I quickly shut off the lights and hid behind the door. As soon as the noise stopped, I left the house. Looking back once more, I doubted that he was the man of my memories and moved on.

Home was empty. It was hard to tell where Mai and Mikoto went, but I didn't bother to find out. What they did was their own business. I collapsed on the nearest bed and promptly fell asleep.

Returning to school was less than exciting. Mikoto attended as she always did, but refused to talk to me. She was probably still angry about me hurting Mai. Well, I was angry with myself too, but didn't feel like apologizing. She shouldn't have tried to pull off that interference crap. There was nothing wrong with my lifestyle.

Classes were boring as usual. We took a test. One I didn't quite plan for, but probably passed. During the break, I leaned on my arm and stared at the sky. There were many clouds, but no rain. Somehow the lack of rain made it feel gloomier. The third class started when our teacher walked in with his briefcase. We were in for another wonderful lesson in math. To my vast surprise, Fumi appeared by the door before the lesson could begin. She briefly conversed with the teacher before he motioned for me to come to them.

I knew I didn't do anything wrong in school that day. Even with my many absences, I was doing well enough to graduate. This had to be about something else. Fumi beckoned me to leave the room and closed the door behind her. Her face was grim, even that fake smile she always had was gone.

She looked me straight in the eyes and said, "We just received a call from the hospital."

I panicked. Fuck! My mother, she was in trouble. Something had happened. Dear God let it be anything, but my mother. I was about to take off when she grabbed my arm.

"Yuuki-san," she said firmly. It grounded me to my position. It caused me to think. This was not a good time to panic.

"What's going on?" I demanded. I was still in a frenzy, but couldn't go anywhere. Fumi Himeno did not look it, but she was strong.

"Yuuki-san, your mother was found dead in her room this morning. I'm sorry."

_Life sucks, live with it._

Reviews would be much appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

One thing that bothers me is that I can't find a good synonym for "kowtow". It's an ugly word and I hate it, but it's one of those maneuvers that East Asians do (its situational). "Bow" simply isn't descriptive enough.

For those who aren't signed in:

Yoji: The lack of reviews doesn't really bother me that much. I mentioned it more as an interesting fact than anything else. I would prefer to have more, but reading yours always cheers me up regardless. There is a tradeoff between lengthier chapters and faster updates, the longer the chapter, the slower the update. For this fanfic, I've chosen to have quick updates and short chapters; otherwise I'll just lose interest in writing.

Kairi Shidou: Oh, someone who noticed my mayo comment. It actually bothers me when authors put really unrealistic characterizations in fanfics. I understand that fanfiction is sort of an author's dream placed into text format, but still firmly believe that these dreams shouldn't be an escape from reality.

To all the rest of you that I didn't reply to before this chapter, I will on the next one.

I thank everyone for their support and look forward to reading your thoughts on my story.

I walked home after that. The weather reflected my mood perfectly, glum, dark, brooding. I didn't cry. I couldn't cry. Before I knew it, I was at the bus station, waiting to get to Mama. Maybe it was a lie; maybe it was a case of mistaken identity. An image of my mother hiding in the corner mumbling to herself crossed my mind. I scrunched my face in frustration. That image wasn't the most pleasing. Most people would believe a person better off dead than stuck forever in unending torment. In my heart a secret hope that she was actually fine held firm.

Often, I wished that this world was nothing more than a nightmare, that I was still six years old and stuck in some dream. Somehow, I would wake up crying, my mother would come in and comfort me, and everything about this world would be forgotten.

I punched a light pole. Fuck, I couldn't be this weak. I wasn't allowed to be this weak. I had to prepare for the worst, even if it wasn't true. At least, unexpected good news was always less damaging. Damn it, now my hand hurt.

The trip there took far too long. I needed to know the truth, was it really my mother? It probably was; how could they not know her? I visited every week, so they knew me too. I glanced at my watch, school ended ten minutes ago. Whatever - Mai would take care of Mikoto. Mai seemed to take care of everyone.

Fuck them; I knew I would be alone from the beginning. The Carnival showed me that the only one I needed was myself. Investing so much into someone else was hurtful. I nearly died when my mother disappeared. More than that, my heart died when Juliet did, because I knew that Mama was gone. Mama is and will always be the most important person in my life. I never wanted to see her suffer. Maybe in death her pain will finally end.

The nurse greeted me calmly, this week without a smile. I suppose she knew too. Instead she offered her condolences, and called someone up to escort me to the morgue. The lights glared down at me, and the walls were so white that its reflection just worsened the effect. An unearthly glow beckoned to me from every object I passed. Fuck this was depressing.

The nurse explained what happened on the way there, but I didn't want to believe her. Instead, all the information just echoed off the walls.

Before I knew it, the door was in front of me. A kind nurse opened it for me and gestured for me to go inside. I took in a breath, gathered up every bit of courage I had and waltzed in as if nothing could bother me.

Through the little looking glass was a body covered by a thin sheet. The nurse nodded to the doctor inside and he removed the blue sheet. There she was, my mother, white like porcelain, and stiff as stone. My heart lurched at the sight of her dead body. I bit my lip and swallowed my emotions.

Nodding my head, I turned towards the nurse. She gestured the doctor to replace the sheet. Without saying a word, she looped her arms to my back and patted it in a gesture of comfort. I recoiled and glared at her before storming out.

I ended up at the storage facility that held everything we once owned. Most of Mama's case files were here. There were too many papers, all were useless now. They were useless before, but I couldn't throw them away, because it meant that she would never return to me. Now, it didn't matter. There was no way that she could return to me short of a miracle. Mashiro pulled off that miracle once, but Mama wasn't dead then, now she is. If miracles could happen every day, they wouldn't be miracles anymore.

God there was so much dust. Fucking dust spread everywhere. Damn spider webs were all over the place. Fucking spiders had to live everywhere. I kicked a box; fucking God took my mom away. The box spilled over. Great, this was another mess for me to clean up, as if I wasn't fucked up enough.

I picked up some of the files and leafed through them. Somehow, reading them made me feel Mama was still around. Most of the papers were forms from various cases she worked on. All of them involved some sum of money. My mother was a litigation lawyer after all. I stopped on a page that caught my attention.

"Fuji Keitaro"

The name was familiar. I pondered to myself about where it came from. Fuck, it was that man. The businessman I thought I mistook for one of her assaulters. There was no way that his name was a coincidence. Everything in my hands dropped to the floor. I had the chance to take my revenge, and I lost it.

Maybe if I proved that I took care of him to my mother, she would be alive. Maybe if I showed her, she would've snapped out of it. My fists tightened. Maybe I would've come here with her to reorganize her life.

Damn it. I started hitting everything in the room. The walls shook from my assault and papers flew everywhere. I began sneezing at all the dust that flew into the air. It took a very long time to calm down. Finally I decided. I was going back to his house to kill him.

I took the first train to his hometown. Fucking bastard would pay for my misery, for Mama's misery. All I had to do was go to his house, sneak in and slit his throat. Still, the idea of a quick silent death was unsatisfying. He deserved a lot worse for what he did. Various plans for my ultimate vengeance unfolded in my mind on the seemingly long ride there.

He was about to enter the house when I got there. It was late, so I was surprised. The sun had set, and dinner time had long past. I threw a rock at him. He spun around with an annoyed expression. As planned, he saw me and began to chase after me while yelling for me to stop.

We got to a nearby park. It was late, quiet and thankfully isolated. I stopped, turned around and watched him struggle for breath.

He held both hands to his knees. "You," he huffed, "stop."

I glared at him. "You raped my mom."

His eyes widened in surprise. I made sure to remember that expression before lunging at him with my knife drawn.

Something suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me back. No! I was so close to stabbing him. He crawled backward in fear while I was wrestled to the ground by none other than my occasional employer, Natsuki Kuga.

"Fuck!" I screamed. "Lemme go! That fucker deserves to die. He took everything from me." I struggled more against Natsuki's strangle hold. Fuck, why was life so unfair?

Mai rushed out and tried to calm my victim down. "Are you alright sir?" she politely asked.

"I'm, umm," he stuttered, quickly stood up and brushed off the dirt from his clothes. Composing himself, he addressed her, "I'm fine now, thank you."

Natsuki tried to calm me down while Mai was attending to that bastard. "Stop Nao, this isn't the way. Calm down."

I was losing strength and paused in my struggle. "It's his fault that Mama killed herself."

Fuji Keitaro stiffened at my comment. He approached me despite Mai's warnings and studied me closely. Something inside must have clicked, because he suddenly paled and appeared very somber. He got on both knees and kowtowed at me.

I relaxed my body, so Natsuki loosened her hold. The three of us stared at him in surprise.

"You're right. I am the man who broke into your house and raped your mother." He explained.

"Good, then I can kill you." I replied before Natsuki tightened her hold on me. Damn it, have some faith in me at least. I wanted him to confess first; it wasn't something I expected him to do willingly.

"No! Wait, please." He lifted up his head in panic. "Please, just hear me out," he begged.

I nodded my head.

"Look, I was a terrible man ten years ago, but I've changed." Somehow that seemed very hard to believe. "I used to be a gambling addict. Your mom, she took on an embezzlement case that involved my company. I lost millions, so I was angry. I did those things to her for revenge."

That was enough; I prepared to break free of Natsuki's hold. Still, he continued to speak. Fucking bastard, what more did I need to hear.

"I'm different now. I'm in a twelve step recovery program. I've stopped gambling, I have a wife and two beautiful children. I even visited your mother to ask for forgiveness." He confessed.

That bastard, he saw my mother the day before she died. It was no coincidence that I saw him there at the bus stop near the hospital. "You fucker! You're the reason she hung herself." I screamed. I broke free of Natsuki and lunged at him, but Mai suddenly jumped in front. I veered and barely missed her. She pinned me to the ground. Fucking Mai was too fat, damn breasts were too heavy.

Fuji had an expression of pure fear on his face. I smiled at it. If I couldn't kill him, at least I could scare the hell out of him.

A woman's voice was shouting in the distance behind him. The misses ran up to us and grabbed her husband. "What is going on?" she questioned, "I'm calling the police."

Fuji managed to stop her, but she seemed determined. He explained that he was just scolding us about vandalizing the park, but that just made her more adamant about contacting the authorities.

Finally Natsuki spoke, "Look lady, just walk away."

Mrs. Fuji looked at her with disbelief. "Or what young lady?" she asked.

"Or I make you and your husband disappear." Natsuki calmly replied and drew out the gun she kept beneath her jacket. She fished out a silencer from the inside pocket of her coat and began screwing it on.

The woman panicked. "You can't do that."

Natsuki slowly drew her lips into a sadistic smile. "I can, I have and I will if I must. I'm very good at what I do. Now leave and forget this ever happened."

The couple's eyes trained on the weapon as they slowly backed away. Both of them started running as soon as they thought they were far enough.

Each of us let out a breath that we didn't know we were holding. Both Mai and I looked at Natsuki with a curious expression.

She sighed, "Shizuru doesn't know." He eyes were cast down with shame. I guess looking for lost cats and dogs with few real jobs in between didn't pay enough.

I watched Fuji disappear into the darkness before glaring at my associates. Even if I wanted to yell at both of them, I was too tired to do it. The day had been an emotional rollercoaster that was nothing but drops. I wondered if I dropped into hell yet.

We stayed at a local motel that night. It was far too late to catch any bus or train out of the rural area and all of us were tired. I laid in bed thinking about Mama. She was gone; I had to accept it. The guy who hurt her wasn't the same guy anymore; I had to accept that too. As much I wanted to kill him, it felt like a worse punishment to let him live with his crime.

Now I had nothing. Tears rolled down my eyes. I didn't want to accept this reality. It was far too harsh. Fuck, how could I be this weak? Weakness was unacceptable. The weak should die. I should die.

Mai noticed my struggle and came over to comfort me. "It's ok to cry."

"No it isn't. Crying is for pansies." I snapped. The trails of salty water down my cheeks didn't exist.

She slowly drew me into a hug. "Tears are nothing to be ashamed of."

It was crap, but I didn't care. All I could do at the moment was pour out my soul while sobbing into her chest as she whispered that everything was going to be all right.


	6. Chapter 6

My eyelids looked red. It took me a few seconds to realize that they were still shut and light was cascading down onto my face. Was it morning? Were the lights on? Damn this pillow was lumpy. I moved my hand to adjust it. Strange, this pillow had two lumps and a hard middle. What in the world was I sleeping on? It groaned. Oh my fucking God, what the hell was this? I shot out of the bed to see Mai sitting in bed and rubbing her eyes as she awoke.

"Why the hell are you in my bed?" I screamed at her.

She pursed her lips in indignation. "You wouldn't let go of my arm after you fell asleep. I couldn't wake you."

I frowned. "I'm awake now, get out!"

Someone whacked my head. "Be nice!" scolded Natsuki. "She stuck with your crying ass the whole night."

It didn't register at first, but now that I looked around; this wasn't my apartment. Fuck, I forgot that we stayed at some shitty motel last night. I feared waking up in strange places; it usually meant something went wrong.

Damn, everything was wrong. Mama was gone. That bastard was still alive with his pretty wife and cute kids. God damn it all. The only comfort I could console myself with was the fact that he had to live with the guilt for the rest of his life. Reality sucked. After last night, I didn't really feel like killing him anymore. It was meaningless; life was meaningless.

Natsuki and Mai were bustling about the room for some reason I couldn't fathom. Odd, there was only one bed in the room. What was this place, a love hotel? I looked over to the nightstand and found some condoms sitting in the ash tray. Fuck, it was a love hotel. What did the clerk think when we showed up looking for a room?

"C'mon," said Natsuki. She opened the door and gestured for us to leave.

We took the train back. The station was crowded, as usual. Too many people continued their lives in this pathetic world. They only had to care about meaningless things, school, work, and social status. What was the point? Education wasn't everything, jobs came and went. Society doesn't give a fuck about anyone. It left everyone to the wolves once it finished sucking out their souls.

"How did you find me?" I questioned.

"Fumi told us about your mom. Natsuki knew where she was hospitalized, so we just followed you from there." Mai responded. She leaned on me in the train and yawned. Natsuki was sleeping now. From her darkened eyes, I could tell she didn't get much last night. They must really care about me to patiently wait for hours out of sight.

I noticed Mai's arm was bandaged. It was probably my fault. "I'm sorry about that." I briefly traced where the wound would be under the bandages.

"I know," she replied. "Don't worry, I'll make you pay me back soon enough," she jested. It did nothing ease my guilt.

It was quiet now. A lot of people came and went from the train car, but none of them were interesting. They just moved about their mundane lives waiting to die. We got home at exactly 10:06 AM. Mikoto was waiting at the door. She tackled me on site. Why am I always pinned to the ground?

"You hurt Mai," she stated.

I stopped struggling. "Yes I did," I said in a defeated voice. "I promise never to do it again. I swear on my mother's grave." It was serious.

She literally growled and eyed me carefully as if trying to decide whether to trust me or not. Finally, she let me up. "You keep your promise or we dig up your mom." So that's how she interpreted it.

The day passed more or less like normal, except that I didn't go out that night. In fact, I didn't do anything at all. After Mikoto confirmed that I was not a threat, I just lay down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling.

Questions about life raced through my head. Scenarios of alternate choice paths played over and over. What if I killed him? What if none of this happened? What if I hadn't cut Mai? Suddenly I felt alone. In the past, only Natsuki could relate to my pain, but she was still different. Fujino changed her, probably for the better. I wondered if there would be anyone like that for me. Would I change for anyone? Was it possible to change?

The smell of food distracted me from my thoughts. Chicken katsu was for dinner tonight. I looked over to the cook. Mai tried to change me. Maybe she was my Fujino. No, that was ridiculous. Mai tries to help everyone, always the goody-two-shoes. It meant nothing for me personally. On the plus side, she was far less crazy than the former student council president.

"How long are you going to sulk?" she questioned while serving the food.

I ignored her and looked away. My stomach growled in hunger, because I hadn't eaten since last night. Still I did not want to join her and Mikoto. Right now, being part of any group seemed wrong.

"At least come here and eat." The ceramic plate clinked as she set it onto the table.

My stomach rumbled again. What a time to be stubborn. I decided to give up my fight against hunger. Why starve myself if I had the choice to eat? I sauntered over to the table and plopped myself in front of a bowl of rice.

Mikoto asked for seconds before I even began. Her attitude always surprised me. Even after the Carnival, she managed to keep that carefree attitude. At first I attributed it to her general stupidity and stunted emotional growth, yet once in a while, I'd catch that look of sad recollection. To this date, I could never figure out who was her most important person. At first glance it was obviously Kanzaki, but her loyalty to Mai was also a very strong. It was sad actually. On one hand, she seemed to have a forbidden love, and the other seemed to be a misunderstood one. Maybe her behavior worked like Kanzaki's smile, a farce that kept people ignorant of her true self.

Without saying a word I began to eat. I could feel Mai staring at me while the food slowly traveled down my throat. I didn't meet her eyes. What could we talk about? I didn't want her pity. I wasn't so pathetic that I needed to rely on her sympathy. After today I would move on. Somehow I would make myself believe that everything would return to normal. I lost Mama ten years ago; the woman who died wasn't my mother anymore.

The food was too salty.

"Nao," Mai said. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." What kind of person would say no?

"No, you're not."

"Yes I am." Why'd she ask the question if she knew the answer?

"You're crying into the rice." She reached across the table and touched my face. I recoiled. Something wet appeared on her finger, I bet it tasted salty.

"Fuck you. Leave me alone."

She stayed silent after that.

For the next few days I did exactly what I promised myself. I moved on. My life continued as if nothing had changed, and I acted as if a chunk of me wasn't ripped out. All the teachers gave me make-up work to finish. Missing all those days of class was probably very bad for my grades. It didn't matter that much I suppose. It wasn't as if I was better off than Natsuki or Mai.

Financially, I was supported by Mama's savings, but the hospital bills took most of it. Fuuka Gakuen was free, but food wasn't. All my spare cash came from mugging perverts and selling information to Natsuki. If I was lucky, I'd get into some vocational school that wouldn't require too much tuition. Given the events over the last few days, I was probably unlucky. Maybe I could land a job at Natsuki's place or offer my services to various other investigators. Becoming an informant didn't seem that bad.

I didn't go out hunting at night though, and I cut off all communication with my dubious acquaintances. I knew I wasn't addicted, at least I believed so. School was important, so all my energy was placed into catching up.

It didn't take long for me to become restless. There were so many bad men out there waiting for their chance to violate a girl like me. His face flashed through my mind. The pencil in my hand snapped. My teacher came by and lightly smacked me on the head.

"Yuuki-san, don't distract the class." He said.

That night, I went out. No hunting, I promised myself that. There were so many prowlers out, too many. Today I watched them, not all men were bad, I knew that for a fact, but so many were that it didn't really matter. Truth be told, I was tempted to take one or two out. It wouldn't be so bad. I was cleaning up the world after all.

A couple moved towards a dark alleyway, one of my many old hunting grounds. He looked around twenty-five; she was definitely in middle school. It was creepy, but not unusual. Young girls had crushes on older men, but were both physically and emotionally unprepared for such relationships.

I followed them and watched them make out. His hands began exploring her body. First he just touched the arms, or her back, but he soon moved on to more private areas. She shrieked when he touched her butt. I nearly jumped out of my spot.

God, I felt like a voyeur. He stopped for her, and slowly convinced her to continue. It was obvious that she was desperate for attention. Maybe she convinced herself that this was love. He began placing his hands under her clothes. This was getting too hard to watch. I wanted to back away, but couldn't stop watching. There was something I was waiting for. I wasn't getting off while watching them. No, I wanted to hear something happen, and her stiff body movements indicated that it would happen soon.

She screamed, and jumped away from him. "No!" It looked like he went too far. The man frowned. He grabbed her and pinned her against the wall. The girl started to cry.

There it was, the excuse I wanted. In no time, I rushed up to them and held my knife against his neck. "Back off slowly," I ordered him.

The cold steel on his skin was convincing enough. He held up his arms and complied. The man laughed and said, "Look, we're just having some fun."

I looked over to the girl who held an expression of shock, sadness and horror. Her eyes desperately pleaded for me to save her. I tilted my head towards the alley entrance. The girl took off without a second thought.

"Is that so? Then I should have some fun too." I hissed. "Take off your clothes."

Maybe I was addicted after all.

* * *

Edit: 9/21/10


	7. Chapter 7

I got home late again. My pockets were full of change from my latest victim. He had just won at a pachinko parlor or something. Perhaps he robbed an old parking meter. Wherever he got it, I could spend it. Stupid coins were making it difficult to find the door keys. I was jingling. It wasn't fucking Christmas, and I sure as hell wasn't Santa.

I rolled my eyes. "Son of a bitch" I swore and kicked the door.

An arm reached toward the handle from behind me, unlocked the abused door in front of me, shoved me out of the way and rushed inside before I could blink. Jesus, was Mai crying?

It was strange to see her like this. Mai didn't cry. Mai was always happy. She was annoyingly positive, and nothing in the world could change that. In a sense, she was like Mikoto, but not a genuine way. Mikoto did things she enjoyed. Mai did things and pretended to enjoy it. It was a socially acceptable way to deal with crap.

Well, something must have broken her today. Did I enjoy this? Perhaps. Maybe I was a sadist who enjoyed the pain of others. Hey, if I had to suffer, why shouldn't everyone else?

She finished checking up on Mikoto, the food stock in the fridge and the temperature in the room. I just took off my socks and threw them on a pile of dirty laundry. We both looked at the bathroom door, talk about déjà vu. Mai rubbed away some tears and sighed. Would we fight for it today? She shook her head and walked in, but left the door somewhat open.

Ok, that was interesting. Open invitation meant she couldn't complain. I walked in to see her crying into the water. Fuck, did that mean I had to talk to her? Bull shit, I had my own issues. I stripped, walked over to the tub and plopped into the bathtub.

"You wanna talk?" I asked. What was I doing?

She shook her head, but started talking anyway. "I got into a fight with Yuuichi today."

I thought she got along with the ex. "About?"

"Stupid things," she said, "everything." Mai leaned back and placed a hand over her eyes.

"Uh huh," I replied. Did that mean my role as comforter was done? I was tempted to start slamming my head into the side of the bathtub. When did I start caring about Mai's personal life?

"It started when we first moved in together." She stared into the water. "We fought about everything. He would leave his clothes everywhere, or I would constantly mother him. I realized that I didn't know anything about him at all."

"That's what you get for jumping in too early." I said.

"I thought it would work, because he was my most important person." The water splashed around. "But love is a selfish thing. I wanted him to be perfect, but no one is perfect. In the end, both of us realized that even if we were in love, the person we loved was someone that didn't exist."

"Shit Mai." I slapped my hand to my face. "Don't fill me with that philosophy crap. You just didn't love him anymore right?"

"No, not that," she told me. "I loved Yuuichi, but not the real Yuuichi. The one I loved was the perfect guy who was romantic, affectionate and understanding. If he was imperfect, I wanted to change him. In the same way, he wanted to change me into his perfect girlfriend. We both realized that it wouldn't happen."

"So what," I said, "you're just not going to fall in love anymore?" I leaned over the side of the tub and rested my head on my arms.

"Of course not," she replied, "I just need to find someone whose flaws I can accept. Maybe I wouldn't like the shortcomings, but I wouldn't be so desperate to change them."

I smirked at her. "You want to change everyone."

"I know." She sighed in resignation.

Her issues with Tate must have weighed on her mind for quite a while. They acted so civil around each other, so none of us suspected anything. I suppose Shiho knew. She would know about anything involving Tate. People didn't usually notice, but Shiho watched the two closely. Only the other Himes knew about the depth of her feelings, and the pain of her loss. I was surprised when she didn't jump the newly single Tate when the break up became official; she probably possessed some pride too.

Mai and I just sat there for a long time after. Neither of us talked, nor did we really concentrate on bathing. Instead we just took comfort that as we were alone, and so was the rest of the world.

* * *

Mai immediately perked up the day after and acted as if nothing had happened. She suddenly announced plans for a picnic and insisted that the three of us eat together in a nice green park. The imposing concrete of the city was apparently intruding on her normally happy mood. So we went out to have a picnic that weekend.

Mikoto was ecstatic. Before the announcement she was playing with her toes on the bed in anticipation of her breakfast. After Mai spoke of her plans, Mikoto began bouncing on the bed with glee. She would have flipped off the wall if it weren't for Mai's stern glare that warned of consequences for staining the wall with footprints. Apparently in Mikoto's world, picnic was the equivalent of full day at an amusement park. Though, I wasn't sure if the girl had ever been to an amusement park.

The train was rather empty for that time of day. Luckily it meant that all of us could sit during the entire ride. Mai calmly looked out at the scenery. We wouldn't go out so far as to see the countryside, but many of the skyscrapers had their own beauty. I suppose it wouldn't really matter what she stared at, because it was apparent she didn't really look at anything out there.

There were a lot of people at the park we attended. Many of them were couples, which probably made Mai feel a little bad, but most were just normal families enjoying their time with each other. For some reason the air felt extremely heavy there, must have been the heat. I ignored it for Mai's sake. I owed her for sticking by me, and felt an obligation to accompany her.

Truthfully, I hadn't gotten over my mother's death. Three days before the hospital contacted me about burial plans. I didn't have any money, so they cremated her and sent me her ashes through the mail. She's still sitting on my nightstand in a sealed plastic bag carefully placed inside a cardboard box. I wasn't quite sure what to do with her. For now her ashes were sealed in the mailing box and placed in a corner of our room.

I decided to save up for a nice shrine that could properly honor her memory. Though, I have no idea how Mama would feel about having the jar funded with money I liberate from fucked up men. Maybe she would take some comfort in my little vengeance, maybe she'd disapprove. It didn't matter now, since she was gone.

I had to hand it to Mikoto, not once did she try to open the box to eat the contents. She apparently had an extreme respect for the dead. It was great news considering her lack of understanding for other social conventions.

There was a small artificial lake in the park. A few people sat near it, but most were scattered in other places. It was a nice reprieve from the usual congestion that came with city life. Mai chose a spot near the water where Mikoto could freely chase around birds or ducks.

She began unpacking the cloth and food. Once everything was set, we sat together watching Mikoto play around with someone's dog.

"Thank you for coming today," she told me.

"I can't turn down free meals." Homemade food is the best. Days of surviving off of premade market food made me appreciate Mai's love for cooking. I wondered when she would graduate from chef school.

"Yes well, I'm just glad you're with me, especially after that night." She grabbed a sandwich and passed to me. "Mikoto, it's time to eat." The cat-like girl paused in her game and came running towards us.

I smiled; maybe this was what a family was like.

Edit: 9/21/2010


	8. Chapter 8

Authors Notes: This was completed later than expected. I had three different versions of this chapter going through my head and was having trouble deciding on which to use. In the end, I chose the third one. Blackfang64, this chapter addresses the request you left in chapter 6. Spikesagitta I have half of your request in.

Review Replies for those who aren't signed in:

Kanzai Ho – Honestly, I'm not really sure what your review is saying. Thank you?

Kouka – Nao and Mai's romance will be a gradual build up written to the best of my ability. Hopefully, it will go past the overzealous flames of lust and approach something akin to love.

Ch. 8

It was an average day at Fuuka Academy. I sat with my back against a tree while watching various people busying about their day. They were always of some interest to me. It was fun to guess what thoughts were running through their heads as they scuttled about their daily lives.

In front of me a second year girl ran down the back fire escape. She was probably trying to avoid a teacher. Her knee scraped against a wall; it must have hurt. A strict first year science teacher trailed behind her. If her darkened fingertips were any indication, she was likely smoking in the bathroom. A little further off to my left were some guys harassing a first year student in a darkened corner. I never understood the concept of robbing students, most of them carried little cash. Maybe the guys got off on having power over others.

I cast a die in my mind about whether or not the science teacher would give up on chasing the smoker, and end up helping out the first year. My pondering ceased when a girl from another school approached me. She wore a uniform that looked vaguely familiar, but couldn't quite place. I glanced at her with annoyance. No one was supposed to bother me in this spot.

"Senpai?" she spoke. She twiddled her fingers nervously and stared at the ground to avoid eye contact.

"Who the hell are you?" I placed my arm on the ground into an aggressive pose. It usually worked to get rid of people.

"Asahara Makino," she answered. "I just wanted to thank you." She blushed as if she was confessing her love or something. Fuck she was weird.

I wondered why anyone would thank me. Not to mention her strange posture reminded me of Fujino's former fans. "For what?" I demanded.

She finally looked at me, but with tearful disappointment. What in the world did I do now? Maybe she expected me to recognize her, but I was pretty sure we've never met.

"You saved me last month," she said, "from that man who tried to-" She frowned and looked down in shame, "rape me."

Vague memories of that night came back to me. There was a girl, and I did remember finding a nice ten thousand yen bill in that man's wallet. I studied the girl in front of me some more.

"So, what the hell are you doing here? Are you stalking me?" I raised my eyebrow.

She blushed. "I'm here for the entrance exam." Right, I recalled that it took place around this time of year.

I nodded, and placed a book over my face as I leaned back against a tree.

"Umm," she spoke.

"What?" I was a little peeved at her presence. Wasn't her business done?

She suddenly bowed. "Teach me to be like you!"

I turned my head a little away from her. "No."

"Why not?" she begged.

I sat up and scowled at her. "I'm not a teacher, and I don't want to babysit your ass all the time."

Tears flowed down her face. She pouted like an indignant child. Angrily, she turned away and ran off. Good riddance to that. Predator hunting was not a path she should take. Girls like her were better off gossiping about boys and trends.

Preferably, I would have forgotten about her. Unfortunately, four hours later, she was in one of my favorite alleyways having her face kicked in by three Yankee girls from her own school. By some bad luck on my part, she saw me passing by, and called out for help.

"Fuck," I swore under my breath, and walked over to the action.

The delinquents paused in their attack. "Bugger off," one yelled at me, "or you'll get hurt."

Damn brats didn't know how to treat an elder. I casually approached them and smiled in a threatening manner. "Let her go, and everything will be fine."

A couple of them could sense the danger behind my grin, but their leader was a little dense, and certainly not the type to back down. She glanced over my body, sizing me up for competition. Her right arm casually swung a wooden sword onto the back of her neck.

"You wanna go?" she threatened.

I chuckled at her. "A middle class girl, who wants to be a gangster, challenging me?" I could see her face become angry from my words. "I've been on these streets since you were in grade school." I grabbed my knife from beneath my school uniform.

Her eyes widened for a moment in surprise, then narrowed in concentration. I guess she wanted to fight after all. She lunged at me with her sword, and her friends quickly followed her attack.

I dodged her initial attack. My elbow connected to the face of one friend and my foot with another. Both of them were on the ground whimpering in pain. Losers were the typical school gangsters, all talk no fight.

Leader girl was still there, a little afraid perhaps, but unwilling to show weakness. She bit her lip, as if trying to think of a way out of this without ending up at the wrong end of my knife. I was more than willing to let her run.

She swung at me again.

Miss!

I maneuvered to open an escape out of the alley for her. Picking on a weak girl wasn't really my style. By now she had grown frustrated at her inability to hit me. I sighed at the twentieth swing; it didn't appear like she was going to back down.

Finally, I just punched her in the solar plexus. It was far easier to knock her out than to wait for her to tire. Her friends immediately freaked out at the fact that I easily defeated their leader, and ran off, taking her unconscious body with them.

"What the hell happened?" I demanded from Asahara.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, "I just wanted to beat up with bad people like you did."

"Idiot," I yelled. "That was dangerous! You could-" The words died in my mouth. I had planned to say that she could've gotten herself killed, but the same applied to me. It was what Mai had insisted all along. I fell back against the wall and slumped down.

"Senpai, what's wrong?" she hovered over me, concerned.

I looked up at her. "Look, don't ever try to do anything like that. What I do, it's bad." My hand went over my mouth and wiped away invisible sweat. "I'm going to stop doing it. No, I need to stop doing it." I stated more for myself than for her. "Promise me you won't do it either." I stared straight into her eyes, mentally ordering her to follow my instructions.

"But Senpai," she whined.

"Look, I'll teach you how to protect yourself. Just don't go out looking for trouble." She nodded her head in glee. I suppose she just wanted to learn some cool moves or something.

"Thank you Senpai!" She flung her arms around me and kissed me on the cheek. This was one really crazy chick. What did I get myself into?

--

I went home extraordinarily tired. Teaching was hard. I had to hand it to Midori for going through this hell. Asahara went home feeling accomplished today. I, however, still had some unfinished business.

A nice smell hit me as I walked into the room. It was Mai's day off, and it appeared that she was experimenting on some new recipes. Thankfully, Mikoto was on a play date with her brother.

I sat on the floor next to the knee-high table where we shared our meals. "Mai," I called.

"Hmm?" she responded while continuing to cook.

"You were right about me." I nervously fidgeted on the floor.

"About?" She casually questioned. Her face leaned over the pot to sniff her new dish.

"About how I'm addicted," I confessed. There, the truth was out.

Mai set her ladle down, and turned off the stove. The pot stopped boiling, but the food still smelled great. She walked over to the table and sat down across from me. "Why are you telling me this now?" I could tell she was angry, probably because I refused to admit it before.

"I need to stop Mai." I bit my lip, hoping she would trust me.

She raised her eyebrow in disbelief. "Why?"

"A girl, I saved her." Saving someone was technically a good thing. "She wants to be like me. Today, some Yankees were beating her, because she was trying to imitate me. Then it occurred to me, what I'm doing isn't a good thing. But I can't stop. Please tell me how to stop." I begged.

She sighed, got up and returned with two manila folders. "I was debating on whether or not to give you these, but it looks like you're ready now."

"What-"

"Natsuki gave these to me. She said they're from Fuji Keitaro."

I grabbed the folders immediately. My fingers clamped down on them and crushed the flat paper. Inside were pictures, addresses and even hospital records. "What is this?"

"In order for you to stop, we have to deal with what got you to start in the first place. These are the files on the other two guys who – hurt your mother." Mai placed her hand over mine in a gesture of comfort.

I was no longer paying attention to her anymore. These were the guys. Maybe I could have some revenge after all. I skimmed through the folders. The men were both construction workers. One was here on a work visa. The other was a native born.

"Fuck, this one is dead!" I glowered at the paper, though paper has never changed its words to please me. Mai quickly scooted to my side of the table to look at the police report.

The foreigner died in a construction accident. A large tension cable snapped and took off his head. Karma's a bitch, at least now I knew the world wasn't totally fucked up. His death still didn't comfort me in the least. The other one, Osagawa Yuuichiro, was now unemployed thanks to the slow economy. He lives at home right here next to Fuuka. Good, it saved me a long train ride.

"What are you going to do?" Mai asked.

"I don't know." I kept staring at the living man's address. Osagawa was living with his wife and daughter in one of the poorer areas of the city.

"Are you going to kill him?" She asked.

"Would you stop me?" I responded, though I had yet to decide his fate.

Mai furrowed her eyebrows in thought. What, she really didn't want to stop me? Wasn't she supposed to be the goody two-shoes?

"Let me go with you then." She looked straight into my eyes.

"That's not an answer." I wondered what was bothering her.

"I don't want you to," she said, "but you'll do what you decide." She inhaled deeply and continued, "Just be prepared for the consequences."

Did I need her there for emotional support? Should I take her with me? She would probably turn me in if I did kill him, but did I really want to do that?

I nodded. She would come with me. Maybe she would help, or maybe she wouldn't. We decided to see him the next day.

--

He was a real piece of work. The man was sitting in a hostess bar getting piss drunk while rambling on and on about his terrible life. Fucker didn't know how badly he ruined mine. He complained about his unappreciative wife and wasteful daughter, while expecting the women around him to nod their heads in agreement. He wasn't very stingy about their tips either, so much for being unemployed.

Mai and I sat in the back corner. We told the manager that we wanted to know how the hard working person got by. He was a little reluctant, but accepted us, because he believed that the modern youth didn't appreciate the average working man.

Around one in the morning, the bar closed and Osagawa stumbled his way home. It was pathetic, he managed to walk into three poles and collapse on a pile of trash. I had no doubt he would smell like rotten fish before he reached his apartment.

It was a small place in a rundown building. How could that man be so selfish? He threw away money at a hostess bar when his family lived in such a shithole? I wanted to take him out right in front of his door, but Mai held me back. She shook her head at my attempt and pleaded for me to watch a little longer. Maybe she was hoping that I would see something redeeming about him.

As soon as the door closed behind him, a loud crashing sound came out of the apartment followed by a man yelling. "Ungrateful bitch," Osagawa screamed, "What right do you have to nag about how I use the money I earn."

I peeked through the window. His wife was sobbing on the floor, and holding her face. Her left eye was black and blue, but it was too early for bruises to form. He must have hit her before. I could see his twelve-year-old daughter cowering in the corner. She sat there in a fetal position with her hands over her ears.

"We have to stop this." I couldn't stand watching men beat women. I wondered how he'd feel at the receiving end of a fist. I know I would certainly enjoy feeling his soft flesh give way to breaking bones beneath my knuckles.

Mai agreed. The two of us ran to the front door and rammed it down. Osagawa turned at us in surprise. "Who the hell are you?" he slurred.

"Your reaper," I yelled before attacking.

--

Notes: Hah! Cliffhanger! Take that readers! C'mon, let me see your reviews of anger. Actually, reviews of awe, appreciation, expectation etc… would be preferred.

Again, if anyone has specific requests, I can probably work it into the story. I mean, I worked in one and a half in already.

Please review


	9. Chapter 9

I slammed him into the wall. The impact forced all the air out of his lungs and he fell onto all fours, wheezing for air. Not letting him recover, I kicked him in the side. His whole body lifted off the floor, and he flipped onto his back. I sneered and slammed by knee onto his chest. My fist hit his face over and over.

All I could think was how much I hated him. Osagawa deserved to die, and what better way than to be beaten to death by the daughter of the very woman he nearly killed a decade ago. My right hand began to tire, so I started switching off with my left. The screams of his family were only distant voices troubling the back of my mind.

He suddenly grabbed me. Shit, he got used to my punches; they were too rhythmic.

"Bitch!" he shouted and slammed his fist into my face.

Damn that hurt. He managed to force me off his body. Jumping back, he grabbed a frying pan. It was an unusual, but effective weapon. Osagawa smirked and swung it widely, leaving himself open to attack. I seized the opportunity and kicked him in the side, hard. He keeled over in pain, dropping the pan. Bunching up both fists, I slammed it down on the back of his neck, which forced him to collapse on the floor. Then I grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back. He struggled to no avail, so began to yell various obscenities in anger.

"How does it feel to be helpless?" I asked. It was nice to see him stuck in a submissive hold.

He sneered in response. "Fuck you." His body wriggled some more under me.

"Payback's a bitch," I commented.

During the fight I forgot about Mai and Osagawa's family. Movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention. Osagawa's wife rushed towards the dropped frying pan. My eyes widened in surprise as she grabbed it and lunged at me.

I jumped off of Osagawa. She slammed the metal down in front of me, barely missing my head. Why did she attack me, didn't I save her? The pan connected with her husband's head. A sickening crack echoed in the room. I realized she wasn't aiming for me at all; I just happened to be in the way. She raised the pan again to hit him again.

Mai screamed, "Stop!" She grabbed the lady from behind. In turn, I swiftly moved to hold the woman's arms to prevent her from continuing her assault. Mrs. Osagawa shouldn't have to live with the crime of murdering her husband. She didn't need to be marked forever. It was a scarlet letter that would always be present in the eyes of others. Besides, if anyone was going to kill him, it was me.

I looked down at his unconscious body. Fuck it; there was little fun in hurting a man who couldn't feel anything. I would never feel the full satisfaction of hearing him scream in pain or beg for his life in this state. Blood was seeping into the floor. Right, his skull did crack. At this rate he'd be lucky to wake up.

We called the police. With all the yelling that happened, I was surprised they didn't arrive earlier from a neighbor's calls. They were probably too used to the noise, or really didn't want unnecessary attention. Given the condition of the local area, I wasn't surprised.

The wife and daughter didn't say anything to us. It was like they weren't sure whether to thank us or be angry at us. I wasn't particularly shocked at their reaction. Battered women need a little time to get used to their new circumstances. It was something I saw among the female homeless wandering the streets at night. Mai and I had gotten rid of her abusive husband, but he was also the sole breadwinner in the family. I'm sure Mrs. Osagawa was concerned for her future now.

The cops wondered what we were doing in the neighborhood. I didn't know how to answer. My talents for deceit lay solely in luring men, not coming up with excuses. Luckily Mai had one prepared.

"We were searching for apartments in an affordable area." She said without blinking an eye. I nodded like an idiot.

The cop raised an eyebrow. "Kind of late isn't it?"

Mai managed to ramble on, "Well sir, I work late shifts at a diner, and we wanted to view the apartment together." It was surprising to see those lies roll off her tongue with such ease. Mai, what forced you to be so good? It's not in your nature to be so devious.

The officer left satisfied with our answers. Osagawa was treated for a concussion. The paramedics said he would be fine. He was rolled out, handcuffed to a gurney. It was a little satisfying to see his head bandaged up. As a bonus, his nose was broken when his wife hit him with the frying pan. The crack I heard was apparently his nose connecting with the floor as the pan slammed down on the back of his head. Well, maybe a part of it really was his skull.

--

We walked home together. "Are you satisfied now?" Mai asked me.

I thought about it. "Not really." The rat bastard deserved so much more than the pathetic beating I was able to give him. I was still missing his scream of pain and plea for mercy.

"Do you still want to kill him?" she questioned further.

"Nope, I have something more interesting in mind." I smiled at the thought. Fucker would never escape the hell I planned for him.

Mai looked at me questioningly. "Please don't do anything you'll regret."

"Don't worry." I laughed. "You can come with if you want."

Mai stopped and looked at me as if asking what I was planning to do.

Unfortunately, Mai had work the next day. She would have seen what I planned to do if she didn't have work. Oh well, it was better that she didn't find out. I'm sure that Mai would disapprove of what I planned. I imagine that few would approve.

I walked into the gentlemen's club owned by the local Yakuza. The hostesses there stared at me as I waltzed up to the bar.

"This isn't a good place to be little lady." The bartender told me.

"Save it, I have business with Matsumoto." I glared at him to show him I was serious. He shrugged in return and gestured a bouncer to escort me to the back.

I mentally thanked Natsuki for setting up this meeting. I don't know how she had this connection, and she didn't seem inclined to share. Mai assured her that my intentions weren't in any way supposed to directly cause the death of Osagawa. I thought it strange that Natsuki was so desperate to keep my hands clean of his blood. Why would an admitted killer hate murder so much?

The V.I.P. room of the club was on the dim side. It wasn't particularly dark per say, but somehow the place felt rather shady. The bouncer, who escorted me, bowed at a gentleman sitting between two very pretty working ladies. The women giggled at something the boss whispered, and poured him some old fashioned sake.

He took a gulp and gestured for me to sit down. I obliged. "You have business?" Matsumoto heartily said. There were two other men in the room. They were obviously bodyguards of some sort, but this guy didn't look like he needed them. The Yakuza boss was a big man, and very muscular. The scar on his hand and jaw bone showed he had seen a fair share of action.

"Yes, I'd like to get some revenge on a man in jail." I stated.

"Oh, and what did this man do?" he asked casually. It seemed that he didn't really care. He probably asked out of courtesy. Well, at least he was trying to be somewhat polite.

"He raped my mother." His eyes roamed my body, but not out of lust. He was evaluating me, looking for any indication of a lie. It reminded me of something Mama told me when I was young. Mouths lie easily, bodies cannot.

"Why bother? He's already in jail isn't he?" He looked away uninterested, though the women at his side seemed to feel moved. As expected, men didn't really understand the implications of rape. They didn't have to fear it as much as women.

"Yes, but he's in jail for beating up his wife and kid." I smiled to see Matsumoto stiffen. Natsuki had told me this guy probably had a family. I knew this would get him, maybe he wouldn't even charge me for the job.

"A man who betrays his family isn't a man." He frowned and sneered. It was interesting. Yakuza were known to traffic drugs and sex slaves. They hurt those who didn't pay back their loan sharks, and threatened those who didn't pay protection money. Yet there were two things they cared about, manhood and family.

"So," I said, "will you help me out?"

"Sure, we can have him taken care of in three days." He offered.

I shook my head. "You misunderstand, I don't want him dead."

Matsumoto leaned towards me in curiosity. "Then what?" he paused. His hand went up to scratch his chin as he leaned back into his seat. "I see." He said as he realized my intention.

I nodded my head and smiled.

"Fifty-thousand yen," he demanded.

"Deal," I agreed. My mother's urn would have to wait. It was more than reasonable. The amount was downright unbelievable given that this was the Yakuza. I probably could have gotten my wish for free, but this way I was guaranteed that no one would protect him from pain, not if the mafia was out to get him.

--

I went home after explaining the necessary details and paying them for their services. Unfortunately, I was now short on cash, so had to skip dinner for the night. I didn't have the pocket money to buy anything from the supermarket and I didn't know how to cook properly. We were out of ramen, because Mikoto ate it all. Mai used her usual shopping night to accompany me to Osagawa's house. At first I tried my best to fill up on water, but it could only do so much. Now I found myself lying on the bed with my stomach growling for food.

Earlier in the evening, Mikoto heard my belly's pleas and took off after mentioning something about getting me some food. If her past was any indication, she likely ran off to find some sort of edible beast in the city. Unfortunately, the closest things we had to wild game were raccoons and rats. I didn't quite feel like eating either, and hoped the girl wouldn't come back successful.

Waiting for Mai was an option, but I didn't want to burden her any more. Mai had done much for me in the past few days, and forcing her to cook for me after a long day at work seemed unfair. I checked the cabinets once more for any type of junk food. I sighed in disappointment as no food magically appeared since the last time I looked.

The refrigerator contained some eggs, vegetables, a small amount of milk and a bottle of mayonnaise. As I was getting somewhat desperate, I decided that perhaps Natsuki's preferred condiment may make things taste better. I grabbed some lettuce and squeezed half a bottle of mayo over it. This was my invention, the mayonnaise salad.

I took a bite. It was good, too good. I gobbled it down quickly, but as the bites increased, the worse it tasted. I guess I was just really hungry. After the seventh mouthful, I couldn't eat anymore. Nothing in the world seemed more disgusting than my pathetic attempt at a salad. In the end, I just left it on the table and went to bed. On the plus side, I wasn't hungry anymore. Downside was that I was likely going to have a stomachache in a few hours. I kind of wished that Mikoto did successfully catch a rat.

The ceiling seemed to be immensely interesting tonight. A few colors swirled around in the dimness of my room. Everything seemed to glow with a navy blue outline. How long was that mayo in the fridge? The front door opened and shut. A dark orange figure walked along the wall. Its arm stuck out in search for the light switch. Did I turn off the lights earlier? I can't remember.

It turned on the lights. Oh look, it was Mai. She inspected the food I made on the table and shook her head. Her eyes glanced at me. Seeing that I was awake, she came over and sat down on the bed.

"That mayonnaise was left over from work." Well, that explained a little bit.

"I hope I'm not going to die." I laughed. A feeling of euphoria came over me. It occurred to me that spoiled mayonnaise shouldn't make me feel like this. Maybe it was spiked with something. Maybe I was just very tired.

She hit me on the shoulder for the comment. "Of course not," she replied. "Don't be stupid."

It didn't hurt. I didn't feel like hitting her back. The ceiling seemed very interesting once more.

"So," she spoke.

"So," I replied. My eyes closed. I was tired.

"What did you do about that man?" There was a hint of disdain in her voice. Strange, Mai loved everyone. Well, it's hard to like a rapist and wife beater.

"I went to the Yakuza." I felt the sheets stretched under her tightened fists. What a worry wart. I sighed. "Don't worry, they won't kill him."

"Is that so?" She relaxed.

My eyes opened to see her smile. It was nice to see her smile. A smile was prettier than a frown. It was certainly nicer than that grimace of pain I remember on the night I cut her arm. I grinned at her. "He just won't feel his ass for the rest of his life. On the plus side, he'll never have a problem with shitting."

She gasped at me. "That's horrible. How-" She paused to rethink the situation. "I suppose he deserves it." A sigh of resignation emanated from her mouth. No, I didn't want her to be disappointed in me again.

Without thinking I wrapped my arms around her. I was hugging her. I've never hugged anyone besides Mama. Well, Mai had earned it. "Thanks for putting up with me Mai." The words slipped from my mouth.

Her body stiffened at the initial contact, then relaxed as it grew accustomed to my hold. She patted me on the back. "That's what friends do."

We mutually pulled back. Why did I feel so awkward now? It's perfectly normal to hug a friend in thanks. She was my friend and I was happy.

"Are you done yet?" she asked.

"No, I have to talk to Fuji." Before she could interfere, I said, "I just want to talk, I swear." I raised my hands in the air in a gesture of surrender.

She nodded in acceptance. "Alright," she said, "time for bed."

"I'm not Mikoto," I growled.

"Where is Mikoto?" she wondered.

"She said something about food and took off. Don't worry, she brought her sword." I replied.

"I see." Faint lines of worry formed on her face. Those wrinkles would catch up with her later in life.

"Mikoto can take care of herself. Don't worry."

--

There was a large truck outside of the new Fuji Keitaro house. Men walked in and out carrying various furniture and boxes. The kids were now playing on the front lawn, since there was constant traffic inside the building itself. His wife was talking to some woman in the local neighborhood while keeping an eye on her children. I strolled up to one of the men and asked where I could find their employer. He was inside in his new office. Boxes were stacked high in once corner, and half the shelves were now gone. He looked up to see me and almost fell off his chair.

"Nice house." I commented. It was far too enjoyable to taunt him. A part of me was glad that Mai and Natsuki stopped me that night.

"What-" he stuttered, "what are you doing here?"

"I just came by to say thanks for handing my friend those files." I sat on top of his desk, making sure he could see the blade attached to my lower back.

"I was surprised to see that she was a private investigator. I thought she did-" He paused in his sentence and continued, "other things."

"She does," I replied nonchalantly.

He swallowed unconsciously. His fists tightened in fear. "Is that all?"

"No." I smiled and grabbed his tie. Leaning in close, I whispered into his ear, "Listen, I will never forgive you for what you did."

"Please, just let me move on," he begged. He moved two hundred miles hoping he would get rid of me. It was a long train ride to get here, but completely worth it.

"Never," I stated. "I will never let you forget, because I can't forget." I pulled out my knife and held it very closely to his neck. "No matter where you are, where you run or where you move, know that I can follow you and take care of you at any time."

His eyes were wide with terror. He even pissed his pants. Of all the men in the world, why was this gutless asshole the one who took away Mama?

I jumped off the table and sheathed my blade. "Just remember that I have connections." I winked and left his office. The wife saw me leave and immediately ran inside screaming for her husband. He was fine, if a little shaken up. Now they would live in fear forever. Revenge was sweet.

* * *

A/N: I was going to write a double chapter for missing you last week, but I still have to leave something to write up later. Plus, this was a good ending for a chapter. Now we will draw Mai into Nao's life.

Apologies for missing last week. Please excuse me for my lack of proper grammar. I promise to edit it someday.

Looking foward to reviews. :)


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I laughed the whole time while typing this.

--

My nightly outings were no longer about fights, tying up perverts or avoiding my roommates. More or less, I often visited the inner city for my side job, selling information to Natsuki Kuga. Hey, I had to make up the lost cash somehow, and I still needed to buy Mama's urn. I was thinking of getting more involved with her business, not the shady one of course, but the more legitimate operations such as spying on cheating spouses or locating people in hiding.

I wouldn't say that I had given up my nightly hunts. After wandering around the streets for so many years, it was hard to drop my habit completely. Once in a while I'd go out of my way to help out some poor girl. Of course, I expected compensation for my trouble. This didn't bother the girls too much as I did accept cash taken from the man's wallet.

Still, life had its way of making things difficult. Makino had developed a rather unwelcomed attachment to me, and I was unsure of how to deal with her. The girl would not leave me alone. She followed me from the end of school until I went home at night. It was rather annoying to have a witness to all my more questionable activity. An odd creature had attached to me, and nothing I did seem to drive it away.

All I did was teach the girl some self defense moves, and now she was attached to me like a parasite. Every time I tried to make her cry resulted with her claws digging further into the flesh of my life. It had occurred to me that threats typically worked well, yet the girl seemed to only press harder for my attention. I threatened to hit her; she shrunk back in fear but didn't leave. I actually did hit her; she acted as if she deserved the punishment. I tried to ditch her, and she managed to make her way to the entrance of my dorm building.

I went to Natsuki for help. She laughed at my predicament. Shizuru, who was around for her biannual visit, told me to treat her nicely. They were insane. For what reason should I be nice to some strange stalker? After an endless amount of teasing, Shizuru suggested I talk to the girl about her attachment issues.

Mai had offered me a free meal coupon for the café where she worked. It was perfect as the crowded area would strongly discourage Makino from making a scene, and I would also have a friend for any awkward situations.

Naturally, Makino was ecstatic about my offer to take her out to eat. She clung on my arm the whole way to La Madeleine's bakery and restaurant, attachment issues indeed. Her smile at my words, "We need to talk" irked me to no end. What in the world did she think we were going to do?

It was the first time I would visit Mai's workplace since she started two years ago. Not to say that I avoided the place, but it was rather out of the way from my usual haunts. Plus, the prices were far too high for someone who got by on stealing.

The restaurant was located on the better side of town in the middle of a nice suburban area next to organized shopping arcades. One look down the busy streets and I knew this was not a place delinquents belonged.

Mai greeted us happily as we chose a booth and handed us the menus. The uniforms were really something. They were red dresses with pink accents and lace overlaid by a white frilly apron. Yet, despite the color, they did not appear too obnoxious. I had to say, Mai looked quite nice in her outfit.

I looked at the menu to see that all the items seemed a little on the expensive side. Good thing Mai gave me that coupon. Makino sat across from me studying the menu intently. She shot her head up with stars in her eyes and asked if we could share a milkshake. I arched my brow in curiosity, why share at all? Still I kept my mouth shut, though a strange thought started itching in the back of my mind. Something was off about this arrangement, but I couldn't quite place it. Regardless, it was best to feed her before trying to reason with her. I figured most people tended to take bad news easier on a full stomach. At the very least, she would find it harder to chase me after eating.

We only ordered one milkshake, though she drank it on her own. The sandwiches arrived, and both of us ate them in silence. Occasionally, Makino would try to bring up some pointless subject for conversation, but I wouldn't actively respond to any of her attempts. Towards the end, she excused herself to the restroom, which left me an opportunity talk to Mai.

She walked over with that annoying motherly smile. "She's interesting."

I groaned and slammed my head onto the table. "She won't go away."

"Poor girl is just looking for a friend." Mai retorted. Why did she have to see the good in everyone?

"Really, well, I'm not it." I was annoyed, beyond annoyed.

"Come on, you could use more friends too." Damn it, she was too kind for her own good.

I turned my head towards Mai. "I have you already. Doesn't that count?"

Her fist hit my head. "Look, she's back." My waitress friend walked away a little too quickly. A satisfied smile and dare I say, a faint blush was on her face.

Makino didn't return to her seat. Instead she stood next to me and twiddled her fingers while avoiding eye contact. This was just like the day she first approached me.

"Senpai," she said. She bit her lip nervously.

"What?" I groaned. I really didn't want to look at her right now.

"I know you're a good person." Now where did she get that idea?

Whatever, we needed to talk anyway, so I turned to face her. "Look-"

"And I know you would never abandon me." She was completely wrong. I'd do anything to ditch her right now.

Suddenly, she took a deep breath and looked straight at me. Actually, her gaze shot straight through me. Flames burned in those eyes, so I prepared myself for attack. "Senpai," she yelled.

"Mak-"

Her lips were suddenly on mine. What the hell? Fuck, I should have seen this coming. God damn it, the girl had a crush on me. It's always so obvious when it happens to someone else.

I heard some dishes drop, and I shoved Makino back. My eyes traced the origin of the noise to Mai, who stood there wide eyed with shock. "Mai, it's not what it looks like."

She glared at me. "It better not be. I didn't let you in to make out."

I was at a loss for words. My head kept turning from Mai to Makino and back again. The other customers were all staring at the three of us. Suddenly, I felt like I was in the middle of a love triangle. Mai picked up the dishes and returned to the kitchen. Unsure of what to do, I grabbed Makino and led her outside.

"What the hell?" I yelled.

The girl hung her head down with shame. "I love you," she cried. "Please don't hate me."

I really hate it when people cry. It was hard to deal with, and difficult to relate. "I don't hate you." I prayed she wouldn't misinterpret me. "Look, Makino, you're a nice girl and all, but-"

"You don't like girls." She finished for me.

"That's not exactly it, but I-" I replied.

"Then you just hate me," she interrupted again. She started balling.

Damn it, this was so annoying. I grabbed her shoulders. "Would you please just listen?"

She finally looked at me. "Senpai?"

"I don't hate you or anything. It's just that I," Shit, I didn't know what to say. If I said I didn't like her, she would just press harder with some strange impression that she could change my mind. There had to be a way out of this.

Bells sounded behind me as the café's door opened. "Nao, you didn't pay your bill." Mai walked out holding a receipt.

Makino was waiting in suspense for me to finish my sentence. Mai was glaring at me for not paying the bill. I had to take care of one before the other. My hand went into my pocket.

The girl got tired of waiting. "You're with her aren't you?"

"What?" asked Mai.

"No." I shook my head.

"Don't lie. I heard you talking to her," she shouted. "You said you already had her." The tears were getting worse, and we were drawing a crowd.

An idea popped into my mind. If this would get rid of my stalker then it was worth the sacrifice. "Yes Mai and I are together." I lied.

"What?" she yelled at me. "Don't-"

"What's going on?" The café's manager pushed through the door. "You're blocking the customers."

Mai faked a laugh and tried to steer the two of us toward a more private area. "We'll be right back." She told her supervisor. She maneuvered us to the back where no one would care to look.

"I knew it." Makino cried again. "I was just hoping you were roommates, but you're not." She curled up her fists and tried to rub the tears away from her eyes.

"No, Makino you don't understand." Mai tried to interfere. She glared at me for causing trouble. Makino stopped crying, and wiped away her tears. A glimmer of hope flashed through her eyes.

Shit, no, don't redirect her attention to me. I clasped my hands together in desperation. "Please," my mouth silently begged. This girl would back off if she learned I was unattainable. God, please let Mai be my fake girlfriend.

"Umm," Mai stuttered. "It's just that, Nao and I have been through a lot together. Please understand Makino."

Yes! She didn't deny it. Well, Mai didn't really lie either, but it looked like my stalker had bought the story.

The girl ran off with tears flowing down her eyes.

"Thank you Mai." I grabbed her hands in happiness. "I owe you."

"You're right. Now, pay the bill." She ordered.

Never in my life had I been so glad to listen.

--

Natsuki was_ busy_ that night. I didn't really have that much information to sell her anyway. Instead I hung outside various pachinko parlors in search of someone's missing pet. I was told the creature enjoyed the little balls those things used. It was one of the job files Natsuki had lying around her office and I thought I could get the reward. The night went about unsuccessfully. The little ferret never showed up, not that I expected it. With nothing else to do, I went home. Outside my dorm building was none other than Makino, waiting for me to return. I thought she had given up on me.

"What are you doing here Makino?" I didn't want to hurt Makino, but she was emotionally unstable. I couldn't predict her actions, and that made her dangerous.

"I'm not going to give up." She resolutely stood in front of the door.

Son of a bitch! I should have made it more apparent that I didn't want her around. "I already have Mai." I firmly stated.

"I know that," she said, "but I'm going to show you that I'm better for you. I love you more than her."

Yeah, I'm sure you do, that's the problem.

"I can accept you for who you are, even all of your flaws." She continued.

Shit, this was turning into a speech. "Look, I'm not interested." I stated.

"I think you're lying." Great, now she put it together. "You don't really love her. You just feel like you owe her." Nope, she was deluding herself more.

"Mai's the only one for me." The line rolled off my tongue a little too easily, but hey, anything to get rid of this brat. I quickly walked around her into the building. She didn't try to follow, but she would be back.

I slumped into my bed. This problem was growing larger. Damn, I forgot that Mai was dragged into this mess. Makino expected us to be a couple. It meant we had to actually act like one for a time, at least until that creepy girl found a new object for her affection. I regretted saving her from those Yankees.

Mikoto was bouncing up and down while distracting herself with a cheap supermarket puzzle. Ah, how I wished I could be as carefree as her. She bent her arms in some odd direction and the two plastic rods came apart. "I'm done!" she proudly announced and proceeded to put the puzzle back together. How was I going to explain this to Mai?

Tomorrow, I was definitely going to Natsuki, and this time she can't laugh at me.

--

Two days later, Natsuki handed me a manila folder on one Asahara Makino. I skimmed through the pages to see a few candid pictures and a short file on her associates.

Father left the family when she was four, moved to Tokyo to start a new family with his lover. Mother worked as a legal assistant. The woman constantly put in overtime and rarely went home. Often, Makino would be home alone. I felt for her. She probably looked for affection whenever possible. That was why she was so drawn to guys lusting after her body. It was why she latched onto me after my acts of mercy.

"Is this it?" I asked Natsuki.

"What do you expect after a day?" She glared at me. I had called her in the middle of the night demanding information about the girl. No doubt, my dubious acquaintance was annoyed that I interrupted her in the throes of passion. Still, the panting and muffled moaning on the telephone told me they didn't quite stop their activities. Slightly disturbed, I hurriedly hung up the phone as soon as my message got across and prayed that Natsuki would remember my request the next day.

I was sipping some coffee at La Madeleine while conversing with Mai about our current problem. She agreed to pretend a few days, but insisted that we avoid getting carried away. We didn't want to hurt Makino, just force her to leave us alone, or at least let her realize that I couldn't give her what she wished for so desperately.

We were just about to formulate a good plan when I spotted a familiar dark blue blazer. Mai was rambling on about how we could get her to understand my feelings without further complicating the lie we had already begun. She stopped when it was apparent I was no longer paying attention to her words. I calmly nodded my head and indicated that something was behind her. She slowly turned around to look where I was staring.

Makino was standing outside the store windows and glaring at us, or more accurately, at Mai. She walked into the store and nudged herself between Mai and me. I wasn't really quite sure what she was trying to accomplish. It wasn't as if I needed protection from Mai. If anything, people required protection from me, and she knew it.

"Excuse me, umm" she said. Her finger touched her lip as she searched her memory for Mai's name.

"Tokiha Mai," Mai helped her finish.

"Yes, I'm sorry." She smiled in a pleasant manner. "Tokiha-san." Makino sat down right next to me and held my hand.

I managed to release her grasp, and indicated that I was annoyed with the way she was acting. Immediately she backed down. I could see the invisible puppy ears flatten in shame.

Mai gave up talking to me for the time being and returned to her usual duty. It left me to converse with my supposed protégé.

"Senpai," she began, "let's go out on a date this Saturday."

"No." I firmly stated.

"Please, just give me a chance." She begged me.

I was half tempted to simply threaten her life, but everyone told me to be gentle. Plus, I've already tried the forcing her away. It always had the opposite effect.

As Natsuki put it, "People like her require finesse." Ironic that she was the one who said it.

Looking down at her puppy dog eyes, I felt my will weakening. I recalled Natsuki's words. I needed to be smooth. I need to talk my way out. I can't resort to physical intimidation; Makino would think I was being considerate.

"I can't!" I shouted, "Mai and I have plans." Yes, excuses were the best!

Makino's head drooped with disappointment. All I could think was "Go away."

"Let me go with you." She demanded.

"What? No!" I yelled at her. She wanted in on my date. Worse still, she wanted to participate in the date I just made up with my fake girlfriend.

Mai walked around to hush us. I was getting too loud and beginning to disturb the other customers. It wasn't true at all; I could tell they were having fun watching the awkward drama of my forced love life unfold.

"Where are you going this Saturday," she asked Mai.

"What?" Mai responded and looked at me with an arched brow.

I bit my lip and willed that she make up something in my mind. Please dear God let Mai go with the flow.

"Oh, right, umm," Yes Mai make up something! "Picnic, want to come?" she answered. No! That was not part of the plan! Mai didn't understand at all.

"Really?" she chirped happily, "I can come on your date?"

"Date?" Mai asked. "Of course, the more the merrier," she said. Her eyebrow began to twitch in annoyance and her smile was rather frightening. She was definitely angry with me now, though I didn't know why. Regardless, Makino didn't seem to notice.

---

A/N: These chapters are growing longer bit by bit, kind of. Now we've entered the romantic part of the story; let's see where it takes us. I've been leading up to this for a few chapters now by carefully placing in foreshadow lines such as "MaiNao" featured in the summary. No, seriously, there have been subtle indications that Nao is starting to warm up to Mai. It's funny how this turned from a story about trauma to a romantic comedy of sorts.

I fear I may be mischaracterizing Nao for this, but hope it's not too far off. I view her as a character who lives for herself, but doesn't really enjoy hurting those who she considers weak.

Ah yes, a little bit of advertisement. I have begun a side story series about how each of the girls came to be Hime. It takes place in the same universe as this fic, but doesn't directly reference it. The story is called "Origins" and you may find it in my bio page.

La Madeleine is a real place that I found on Google. I needed a name for a French café. I didn't click the link and never been there, so don't ask.

Please Review!


	11. Chapter 11

_I very much enjoyed all the reviews, thank you._

You have an Addiction ch. 11

"I fucking hate you," I grumbled at Mai.

She tilted her head and faked confusion. "Now that's unfair. I did agree to cover for you."

"I didn't say invite her to a picnic." I retorted.

"Well, you lied and I had to say something." She brought her hands to her hips and leaned over in a scolding position. Damn her mothering complex.

"Could've said no," I mumbled.

"Too late," she casually replied and walked off to take some orders.

I leaned back into the booth and placed my arm over my eyes. Fucking Asahara couldn't just leave me alone. It was hard to fight the urge to simply slap her in an effort to get her to see the truth. Unfortunately, she was the masochistic type.

It was eating away at my mind. Why did I have to get so worked up over some girl? This was annoying. I couldn't stand it anymore; I had to hurt something.

Without a second thought I walked downtown. It wasn't dark yet, but the alleys would be busy soon enough. I stood next to a trashcan while flipping my knife in the air. A few people passed by and stared at the blade constantly rotating out of my hand. They seemed to decide that I was a land mine and avoided approach.

The air felt heavy around me. I was stifled. My breath was shallow and staggered. I was craving something. No, I couldn't be craving. I wasn't addicted anymore. I faced my fears; I moved on!

A walk, that's what I needed. Some time in the park would bring me back. I looked back. What was the problem? I took out a guy last week. It was different though. Last week I just wanted money. I didn't need to do it. He just happened to look rich.

No, it wasn't different today. I could deal with my problems. Asahara was just an annoying pest who I could easily drive away. I was just being nice for Mai's sake. That's right; Mai was the only thing keeping me from being too violent.

Still, one pervert couldn't hurt.

--

Three hours later, I was twenty thousand yen richer, and a little beat up from taking out what seemed to be a kendo teacher. The disgusting man was feeling up an eight-year-old boy from one of his classes. I really had trouble holding back after hearing "Please stop Sensei".

I smirked at my latest accomplishment. Scissor beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat scissor and knife beat bamboo sword. I really did a number on his family jewels. It was a good bet he wouldn't be able to use it for a while. The little boy ran off crying. I kind of hoped he would tell his parents, but few children talked about such things.

He wasn't my last target for the night. I kept thinking, "It wouldn't hurt to just do one more." So I kept going until I was exhausted. A long scratch trailed down my arm. Apparently some men were scratchers. I wasn't bothered since there was no blood, but it did look odd.

A chuckle passed through my lips as I opened the door. Mai was half asleep in my bed as I walked in the door. She got up when I turned on the lights.

"What are you doing in my bed?" I asked.

"Why are you home so late?" she responded.

"That's not an answer."

"My question first," she insisted.

I brushed her off. It had been a long day. The bathtub seemed enticing. I moved towards the door. She blocked my path. "What the hell Mai?"

"Answer my question."

I shook my head in refusal.

"You were out hunting again weren't you?" Her deep purple eyes reflected disappointment.

For some reason, I couldn't stand knowing I disappointed her. It was frustrating how the sudden feeling of shame and guilt rose in my chest. "It's none of your business." I said defensively. Fuck Mai and her feelings. I was still in control of my life, yet the feeling didn't go away.

She put her hands on my shoulders, looked straight into my eyes and said, "You can't just go back just because you're under a little stress."

"I'm not stressed."

She frowned. "Of course you are. You're nervous, and tired. There are bruises on your face and arms. You're falling back into the habit."

"Bullshit, I'm fine." My arms crossed in anger.

"Really," she asked, "How many men did you tie up tonight?"

I gulped, she was completely right, but I didn't want to admit it. I said nothing.

Exasperated, she strode towards me and wrapped her arms around me. I stiffened in shock and fear. It was awkward to be so close to someone. I wasn't in a generous mood either. "You can just talk to me. We're friends."

"A friend doesn't invite a stalker to a picnic." I yelled and pushed her away.

"But she does get you out of trouble by pretending to be your girlfriend." She huffed and turned away. "You know what, I'm done. Tomorrow we're telling her the truth."

Whatever, I didn't care anymore. If Mai didn't want to help me, I'd just solve the problem my own way. Maybe Natsuki wouldn't object to taking on a job from me. One way or another, I would make sure Asahara was out of my life.

--

Asahara easily picked up on my foul mood the next day. She opted to stay as quiet as possible until the cloud over me passed. It didn't, not for that day. After school I visited Natsuki to pick up on any extra jobs. She offered me a few extra ones she had laying around. Apparently she believed that I would find less time to do dangerous things if I spent all of it spying on people for other people. She did give me a nice camera with a really good lens.

After taking a few pictures of a couple entering a trashy motel, I decided to wander around the town for a little bit. My argument with Mai haunted my mind. Asahara left me alone after a little while. She seemed afraid of my current temperament, not that I could blame her. At the very least it gave me a little less to worry about that night. Instead, I debated whether or not to continue my activities from the previous night.

It was a hard decision, but I managed to hold back. Only for Mai would I ever do anything so considerate. Every time I walked toward a darkened corner, her frown flashed in my mind. A sensation of guilt would rise in my chest, and I would walk away.

I went to bed early, though I still heard her enter the room. She went through her nightly routine and went to bed. I couldn't sleep. It felt to hot in there. There was no circulation. My head hurt and I tossed around in my bed. I couldn't open the window; it was the end of winter and there was even a little bit of melting snow on the rooftops. It shouldn't have been this hot.

School the next day felt like hell. Everywhere I went, I felt stifled. There was something wrong with me. Maybe I was sick. I couldn't afford to be sick. The teachers droned like usual. They didn't care about having interested students. They just wanted the ones who could do well, and those students learned everything regardless of how boring a teacher was.

Asahara approached me again after school. She seemed to brighten at my presence and made it a point that she would not leave today. It was like she believed I was testing her faith.

"You fought with Tokiha-san?" she asked while we were walking towards the bus stop.

"It's none of your business." I didn't want to talk to her about it. We weren't friends, despite what she thought.

"What did you fight about?" She grabbed my hand when we entered a bus.

"Let go." I retracted my arm. "We didn't have a fight. Now go away." I ordered her.

She faced the ground, and pulled on leg back while tracing a line with her toe. "It was about me wasn't it?" Her voice sounded sad and maybe a little guilty. I could swear it was as if she didn't want me to break up with Mai.

"Not directly," I answered. I guessed there was no harm in actually telling her. "It's about my habit."

"Habit?" Asahara lifted her head to face me. A curious glint reflected in her eyes.

"Remember when we first met?" I looked over her head as I called forth the memory. She nodded to answer my question. "Well, back then I used to do that a lot."

She tilted her head in confusion. "You used to save people like me?"

"God, no," I scoffed. "I took out perverts and tied them up naked in the alleyways."

Asahara lowered her head in disappointment; guess I wasn't the saint she thought I was. It was fine. I didn't care what she thought. "Isn't it a good thing though?"

"It's dangerous. I was even shot once." I lifted up my left sleeve to show her the scar. She winced with sympathy pain. "Mai freaked out and begged me to stop, so I'm trying to control myself for her." A frown formed on my face. Technically, I was trying to stop for myself, but it wasn't true. I could have lived my entire life without stopping to think what I did was bad. Mai was the one who pointed it out. She was the one who wanted me to change. Was it for the better?

We got off the bus. It wasn't dark yet. She followed me while I wandered through the city. More than once, the girl tried to start up a conversation. I simply ignored her and thought about my problems. In the end, I got annoyed, gave her a thousand yen and told her to go home and let me think. She seemed to understand and told me to be careful.

I kicked a can on the ground and thought about Mai. Damn she made me feel terrible. I liked it when she smiled, but hated it when she frowned. When she was upset, so was I. Never in my life had I been so empathetic toward another human being. Part of what Asahara said was true, I did feel some obligation towards Mai. I owed Mai a lot. She tried to help me before I knew I had a problem. She stopped me from murder, spent the night with me and comforted me. Now she lied for me to get some nutcase off my ass.

A sigh escaped my lips. My surroundings had changed. This was no longer the dirty, cluttered downtown street I was wandering around. La Madeleine's "Open" sign glared brightly at me, and bells jingled as someone walked through the front door. It figured that I would end up here. Maybe my subconscious was telling me something.

Through the window I could see Mai rushing around to serve customers, always with a smile on her face. I didn't like that smile. It was a fake smile. There were creases of a hidden frown buried in that smile. She wasn't happy. I briefly wondered if she was just upset about me, or just hated her current life in general.

Mai saw me through the window, and ignored my presence. It was as if I didn't exist to her. Well, I expected that reaction; she was still angry at me. Everything I did seemed to make her angry. I couldn't recall the last time she was happy with me.

It bothered me that she didn't smile right. The thought that I caused her current unhappiness ate away at my heart. God, why the hell did this woman worm her way into my life? She was so annoying, controlling, complicated and emotional. I hated her, so why did I care?

Taking in a deep breath, I strolled through the doors and sat down in a booth. I felt nervous. Apologizing wasn't my strong suit.

Mai walked to the booth with a pen and notebook in hand. "What do you want?"

"I, uh," I said. The words weren't coming to my mind. I couldn't figure out what to say. All I had to do was say 'sorry', but somehow it just stuck on the tip of my tongue. "What's today's special?" Great, that was possibly the lamest line in history.

"Chicken Cordon Bleu," she blandly replied.

I nodded at that, and gestured to make it my order. She took it down with no complaints, and then moved on to serve other customers. I checked my cell phone. It was seven in the evening, there were a few good customers, but it looked like the night time rush was over. I had to apologize. I needed her to not hate me. I wanted her to not be disappointed in me. Over and over I chanted the words in my head.

I waited for her to come by again.

This time she approached with the platter in her hand. The breaded chicken looked really greasy and I really didn't want to eat it. Mai set it down with no trouble and balanced a few other plates on her other arm.

My fingers seized her hand before she could retract it. It was now or never, and I had finally worked up the nerve to say something. "Mai I'm sorry."

"Oh, that's nice," she said a little too calmly, and moved away.

Shit, she's given up. The one person I wanted to care had given up on me. My chest knotted painfully. I got up and grabbed her free arm. "Mai I really am sorry," I held my breath with anticipation. Please forgive me.

Her shoulders slumped as she sighed. She turned to me with her brows furrowed in anger. "You always apologize, but you never change."

"I'm trying to Mai." I was getting desperate. The dark feeling was stabbing into my heart.

"Trying isn't good enough." She retorted and glared back.

"I can't do it alone!" I just wanted her back. I would do anything to see her smile at me again.

She leaned towards me. "I already tried to help, and you threw it in my face. Forget it." Mai spun around and proceeded to deliver the remaining plates.

"What happened to being friends?" I yelled behind her. "Please Mai, I can't fight alone. I need you. I'll do anything." Please don't look at me like that anymore. "Please Mai," I begged.

She paused in her work after delivering the last plate and looked around. It seemed that the customers were immensely interested in our conversation as many of them were silently gesturing her to accept my apology. A sigh escaped her lips. "Fine, this is your last chance." She said as she placed a bill on a table. Everyone in the place clapped for us; it was embarrassing.

"Yes! Thank you," I screamed before grabbing her into a large bear hug. I managed to lift her off the ground and twirl her despite the cramped space. My face buried itself into her shoulder; I was ecstatic. Strange, I never noticed how nice she smelled before. A blush rose to my face as I set her down. It must have been the exertion of lifting her, or at least I wanted to believe so.

--

The day of the picnic came. Mikoto was bouncing off the wall in anticipation while Mai prepared the day's food. I offered to help, but she only let me place the food into containers. It wasn't my fault no one bothered to teach me how to cook.

The orphanage didn't let us go near the kitchen. They were mostly afraid that we would steal food, though their excuse was that they didn't want us to hurt ourselves with the knives. Luckily, I was already quite proficient at making shivs from other objects so never thought about breaking into the kitchen for their knives. Plus, kitchen knives were harder to hide.

We met up with Asahara by the train station. She grabbed my arm and dragged me into the car. Oddly, the girl never broke eye contact with Mai. It was as if she was testing us. Whatever she wanted, it seemed to bother Mai. The red head looked immensely annoyed at Asahara for grabbing me. Maybe Mai was just acting for me. She was still supposed to be my girlfriend.

Mikoto noticed the general discomfort between the three of us and latched on to Mai. It was generally her way of providing comfort for both Mai and herself. Asahara eyed the two of them skeptically. I could only smile and laugh. "Mikoto is a little," I paused in my sentence. What was the word I was looking for? "Odd" I finished. It was the best way to describe the feral girl.

"Ah," she said while nodding her head. Mikoto looked at her and heartily agreed with my statement, then laid face down on Mai's lap. It was a little infuriating how she could do so without any repercussions. By this time, Mai had become so used Mikoto's attention that she could ignore it without thinking, but I found it immensely discomforting. Wasn't Mai supposed to be mine today?

I gritted my teeth and turned my attention to the scenery. Mai decided that it was more interesting to talk to Asahara about various subjects that I wasn't interested in. Suddenly I came up as the subject of the conversation. I turned my head towards the two gossiping fanatics.

"So how long have you known Nao-sempai?" She quietly fidgeted in her seat. Of course this was uncomfortable. She was the third wheel; then again, the sleeping Mikoto was an unnecessary fourth. I guess we now had a very unstable wagon with oddly shaped wheels.

Mai thought about her answer for a bit. "Well, unofficially, I ran into her while chasing Mikoto down my first day at Fuuka Academy." She laughed happily.

Why didn't I remember this incident? It made me feel ashamed that I could not recall. The only thing I knew back then was how much I hated the world and everyone in it.

"What was she like?" Asahara leaned a little too closely to Mai as she anxiously waited for the answer.

Mai placed her right index finger on her chin and hummed. She answered, "Angry, rebellious, maybe little mischievous." The red head even smirked at the last word. I frowned; she didn't have to pick on me.

"Really?" Stars lit up in Asahara's eyes. I didn't want to know what she was imagining. Then she looked away from us and out the window. A blank expression appeared on her face. "Were you together then?"

"No," we both replied.

"I dated someone else through high school," Mai clarified, "we were acquaintances."

"Oh, what happened?" Brown eyes lit up with hope.

"It didn't work out." Mai sighed. She was probably thinking about Tate right now. He was her most precious person. I guess she couldn't forget, those feelings she had would always be with her.

Asahara was about to say something else, but the train pulled up to our station. I immediately got up and shoved everyone out the door to prevent the conversation from continuing. Thankfully, the topic changed as we exited the platform and entered the street. The park wasn't very far off. Maybe now we could enjoy a peaceful, but crowded picnic.

Mikoto immediately zoomed towards the lake. Apparently she remembered our last trip here and was excited at the idea of chasing around pond ducks again.

"Don't jump into the water!" shouted Mai. I chuckled at the idea. Last time, Mikoto decided to end our trip by catching a fish with her bare hands. She got soaked from head to toe. Without thinking, she began stripping in the middle of the park to get rid of her wet clothes. Mai freaked out. Thinking quickly, I grabbed the picnic cloth and ushered the spiky haired girl into the bathroom. She changed into the makeshift dress made from the cloth.

I slowly walked over to the place we were going to sit, and help Mai set up the area. Mikoto ran back to us and dragged Asahara to chase after the ducks. Her apparent goal was to actually catch one of the animals for food.

The lunch looked great. I looked at Mai and smiled. "Thanks for coming today."

She returned my smile. "I couldn't say no, not after you begged me."

I crossed my arms and huffed. "I never beg."

"Oh, so then you didn't need my help. I'll just call Asahara over and explain our real relationship to her." She mocked me, and faked an attempt to shout.

Of course I played along and tackled her. We wrestled each other on the grass, but I managed to pin her down. She laughed and struggled against my hold. I smirked in a devious manner.

The smile disappeared from her face. "No, don't even think about it."

"Fat chance," I yelled before lightly brushing my fingers over her belly.

She laughed uncontrollably at my tickle attack, and attempted to wriggle out of it. There wasn't any way she was going to get away from me. I was relentless. She managed to grab my arm and switch our positions. Damn, now I was at a disadvantage. A smirked played on her face. "Revenge is mine!" she shouted before beginning her counter attack.

"Ah!" I screamed, "No Mai, stop!"

Mikoto suddenly ran up to us in the middle of our fun. I was a little disappointed that it was over, but the cat girl's growling stomach indicated that it was time to eat or she would faint. Asahara jogged over to us slowly and panted. Mikoto must have really dragged her around. My young stalker plopped down onto the cloth, too exhausted to actually do anything.

"Have fun?" I asked her, but my eyes were glued to Mai. I studied her every movement as she served the food. Today was special, I could feel it, but couldn't figure out why. Why did I suddenly feel so content on the picnic? This wasn't the only time; I felt this way on the last picnic. What was wrong with me?

Mikoto began stuffing her mouth, with more food than I thought possible. She must have been hungry today. My stomach growled. Guess I was hungry too. Asahara sat up from her place, and began eating. Unfortunately, rather than constantly having food go into her mouth, she continually chatted with Mai about various subjects. I wished she would learn to shut up.

The lunch ended quickly. I looked at my watch, there was still time to do something else, but what else was there? Asahara's presence was bothering me, and my recent string of uncomfortable sensations weighed on my mind. I wanted to go home and sleep. Maybe my problems would disappear in the morning.

Mikoto looked too stuffed from the food to run around anymore, and Asahara had decided to take a nap. It seemed like a good idea, so I laid back to do the same. My head ended up landing in Mai's lap.

"Ugh you're head's too heavy," she humorously complained.

"No it isn't." I gently wriggled in her lap.

We shuffled around a bit so she could comfortably lie back as well. I ended up using her stomach as a pillow while she was on her back. We both looked up at the sky.

"The clouds look pretty today." She played with my hair. It was weird, but serene. All the pressure I felt from the last few days seem to evaporate into the air. All of my problems seemed so simple at the moment. There was no past, no future, just here and now on with Mai. It was strange.

The time to go home came too soon. I didn't want the day to end. We entered the train car at the platform. I looked one last time in the direction of the park longing for the calm peace that surrounded me there. My thoughts snapped back to reality. The only reason I came today was to convince Asahara Mai and I were in love. Thinking back, it was a retarded plan. It was obvious that I didn't feel a…

My mind began to process the day's events. I cared what Mai thought of me. I liked to see her smile. I felt possessive around her, and noticed how nice she smelled. Hell, I even noticed the bit of gloss she put on her lips today. Reality smacked me in the face.

Son of a bitch! I was in love with Mai.

--

A/N – This chapter was extremely hard to write. I did my best to keep Nao's characterization consistent, but let's admit it. If she was the exact same Nao from the anime, she would never fall for Mai.

Next chapter – "Denial is the next best thing", "The wooing of Mai", and "I don't do confessions".


	12. Chapter 12

_Apologies for lateness, but the chapter turned out longer than expected. Just be glad that I didn't break it up into two parts._

_Ah yes, you know the preview I gave you last chapter? Disregard it because I didn't quite follow that formula.  
_

_Dear Yoji, romance is like cotton candy, mostly air and sugar, and overbearing when consumed in massive amounts. Ironically, before writing this story, I always considered MaiNao as strange and impossible. However after a great deal of work, it has become apparent to me that they work extremely well together if we were to follow the canon's existing outline. NatNao, on the other hand, seemingly can only work as a temporary pairing, since the character personalities are so similar that they clash. _

_--  
_

I kept silent through the entire ride. My mind twisted with confusion and horror. How could I be in love with Mai? It was impossible. She was my friend. Friends enjoyed each other's company. They paid attention to each other. They did not fall in love.

I knew I hated men, but that didn't make me like women. It just meant that I would never get married. I wasn't attracted to women, was I? My mind reeled at the thought. It was a possibility that I had never considered.

As soon as we reached the station, I took off and left them on the platform. I walked into a liquor store and flipped through one of the magazines. The ads were filled with models. They were beautiful women too. I had to see if I felt anything for them.

Closing my eyes, I took in a deep breath. My eyes looked down at the first page I opened. It was an ad for some perfume. A pretty, young Japanese idol sat on the page. She wore a stylish one piece dress that seemed to draw attention to her face. I stared at it. What did I feel? My eyes roamed her body. The only thought that passed through my mind was how great it would be to buy Mai the perfume. I grew frustrated. The girl in the picture didn't even pass as an afterthought.

Maybe this wasn't the type of picture that I enjoyed. This magazine was aimed at women; it didn't want to turn them on, but make them jealous. I looked over at the other magazines. A motorcycle magazine caught my attention. Maybe that one would have something interesting. I flipped through the pages to find another advertisement.

There was one page with a sexy European standing next to a very nice looking bike. I scanned the page up and down. Her biker suit clung closely to her body, while she purposely left the top portion of the suit unzipped to show off cleavage. Her boobs were smaller than Mai's. She was taller than Mai, too tall. I made a million other comparisons before realizing that all of them related to Mai. Crap, what was I doing?

I screamed in frustration and ripped the magazine. The store clerk turned his head towards me, and ordered me to pay for it. I kicked the stand before leaving the money on the counter and storming out of the store. It took a little while for me to calm down.

Before I knew it, I was in the park. Seizing a bench, I crashed down and willed myself to look at the magazine once more.

"Just look at the women." I said to myself. "Don't think about Mai. Just look at the girls."

Flipping it open I found another pretty Japanese girl sitting next to a domestic motorcycle. I studied her closely. How did it make me feel? I held the page far away, then up close and far away again.

"Fuck, that bike's expensive." Shit, I was distracted. There was nothing. I didn't care about the model at all. What was there to look at? She had a flat chest, black hair and wore a skimpy bikini. I concluded that I wasn't into girls. Wait; there was always the sex thing. Maybe I enjoyed naked women. I mean, Mai and I bathed together once in a while; maybe I just liked her naked body.

I immediately found a fetish store near the park. The place was run down and sort of hidden behind other things, but I knew where it was. More than once, I had come out here to pick up men. Inside I grabbed a pornographic magazine.

I thumbed through the pages. It was more disgusting than interesting. It was hard to believe that women actually found pleasure in sex. I wondered if Mai enjoyed it with Tate. My hands crumpled the edges of the paper; I felt jealous.

Damn it, my mind was wandering to her again. It was driving me insane. Finally, I found a page featuring lesbians. Alright, did I enjoy this? I stared closely at their naked bodies. One woman's hand was inside the other woman. The other was fondling her breasts. Their tongues were visibly wrapping around each other. A chill ran down my spine. I tossed the magazine into the trashcan. Such sex didn't interest me. It was vulgar, revolting and demeaning. Mai was nothing like those women in the magazine. She wasn't some animal mindlessly fucking in front of a camera.

I grabbed my hair in frustration. What the hell was wrong with me? I needed to clear my head. Why did I even bother to look at those idiotic magazines? I punched a nearby wall. Someone screamed in the distance.

"You look pissed," a voice sounded to my right. Raven hair followed by a trademark smirk, it was my occasional friend and employer, Kuga Natsuki.

I looked at her, and then looked at the carnage behind her. Slowly evaluating the scene, I raised my eyebrow to question her.

She smirked and said, "Family reunion." Without glancing behind her, she grabbed my arm and led me away. We ended up in a café on the third floor of some second rate shopping center. "So, what happened to the picnic?"

I choked on my drink. "How did you know that we went on a picnic?"

"Mai invited me too, but I had work." She casually draped her arm on the back rest of the booth.

"Why'd she invite you too?" I muttered to myself.

"What? Jealous?" Natsuki laughed.

Heat rose up to my face. Natsuki was joking, but it didn't stop me from reacting. "I'm not jealous." I huffed. My arms crossed, and I looked away from Natsuki.

She paused in her amusement. "You really are jealous." Her voice was laced with shock.

Crap, she caught me. Well, I wasn't doing a very good job at hiding my feelings. It's not my fault. I never felt this way before. I had no idea how to react.

"Oi, Nao? What the hell are you thinking?" She poked me to get my attention. "Don't zone out now."

"Shut up Kuga! I'm trying to think." Maybe I should tell her about my feelings. She was good at keeping secrets, and she had experience. When it came down to it; Natsuki was the only one I could talk to about this.

"Think about what? What the hell is wrong with you?" She gritted her teeth in anger and held her hands in fists. It looked like she was about to get into a fight. While it seemed like a good distraction, I really did need to talk.

"I think," I began. My mind sorted the words I wanted to say. Natsuki was smart, but the subject was one that was easily misinterpreted. I had to be direct and clear. "I think I'm in love with Mai."

For a moment everything froze. We stared directly at each other trying to read the other's mind. She frowned. "Don't fuck with me Yuuki." The woman looked like she was going to jump over the table, and beat me into the ground.

"I'm serious." I stated. Her glare was challenging me to make a move. Our eyes battled for dominance. It was getting on my nerves, but I understood her feelings. She was only looking out for Mai. I gave in first. My head collapsed onto the table. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Suddenly, Natsuki's pose relaxed. She seemed to understand the situation. "You're really not joking are you?" Her voice sounded anxious.

"Of course not," I yelled and slammed my fists on the table. "Why would I joke about something like that?" My body slumped forward in defeat.

She drew her lips together, deep in thought. After a minute, she finally spoke. "Maybe, you're not in love with her."

Hope sparked within me. "Really? What am I feeling then?"

"Well, you lost your mom recently, and Mai is the mothering type. I mean, it just fits. You do have a mother-complex. Maybe you're just drawn to Mai, because she's kind of like your mom." She took a sip of her coffee. Her logic made sense.

I wasn't in love with Mai; I was just using her to replace the mother I lost. I should have been overjoyed, but it only weighed down my heart. Somehow I was happier when I thought I was in love with Mai. Looking at Natsuki, I did my best to smile gratefully. "Umm, thanks." I felt guilty. Has Mai just been a replacement for Mama all along?

I left my friend in the booth, and headed home. I was tempted to stray from my path and take out a few guys here and there. Unfortunately, it was too early in the evening to get a proper catch. The only people roaming about now were the harmless otakus who preferred their life size dolls to real women. I had to admit, there was a certain appeal. They didn't have feelings, couldn't cause harm and would never leave.

No doubt Mai was angry at me for leaving them at the station. What was there to do now? I couldn't exactly start calling Mai "mama". There was also Mikoto to consider. My jealousy was a result of sibling rivalry; it was pathetic. I truly had sunk to a new low.

Mai yelled at me as soon as I walked through the door. I quickly apologized, and said I had an errand to run. She didn't believe me. "You didn't go after perverts again did you?"

"Of course not," I yelled. "How could you think that of me?" A wave of guilt and sadness passed through me. It bothered me that she would so easily think the worst of me. It was enough that I felt that way about myself. I didn't need it from her. "I had to talk to Natsuki about something important."

She raised her brow skeptically, but accepted my answer. "You know Asahara-san ran home crying today."

"That's too bad." I didn't actually care. What happened to that girl was none of my business. I was still trying to grasp my newly discovered feelings for Mai. Mother figure was it?

She was sitting next to Mikoto watching television. The two of them were eating some light snacks while intently listening to a drama. I clenched my fist when Mikoto suddenly plopped her head onto Mai's shoulder out of boredom. "Mai I want more snacks." Sibling rivalry seemed dangerous.

Resisting the urge to shove Mikoto to sit between them, I took off to the bathroom. I had to control myself for the both of them. It didn't feel right. I wanted to be in the next room with Mai watching television, and listening intently to the protagonist give his monologue. I wanted to cuddle up next to her, lean into her shoulder, feel the warmth of her body and maybe get a whiff of her fruity shampoo. Was it so bad that I wanted to be close to Mai? Maybe I could share with Mikoto? I could simply take the other side.

No, what was I thinking? Mai would be uncomfortable if I did something like that. Mikoto already made everything awkward enough; she didn't need me hanging on to her every minute of every day. Most importantly, she wasn't Mama, and could never replace her. I was being selfish and unfair. What I wouldn't give to go back to being the punk who tied up perverts. At least, that way I didn't give a shit about anyone or anything, least of all myself.

Someone knocked on the bathroom door. "Nao you're taking too long," Mai called from the other side.

"Almost finished," I replied, and quickly scrubbed down. There was no going back now. I was not the same Yuuki Nao who tied up men with Juliet. I wasn't a Hime anymore. Mama wasn't with me anymore.

Without announcement, the door swung open. Mai walked in and began to strip.

"M..Mai, what are you doing?" I panicked. She didn't even bother to ask me if she could enter. I didn't want her to see me, and I really shouldn't look at her. Her shirt dropped to the ground. I flipped around in a pathetic attempt to hide my rising blush.

"I need to bathe too." More rustling noises came from behind me followed by a thud of what I assume were her pants dropping to the ground.

"Mai I'm not really comfortable with this." Water splashed as she entered the tub. I turned my head to face the wall. The heat in my cheeks rose to an unbearable temperature.

"Why not? You're almost done anyway." She started scrubbing herself with soap. The foam started to float to my side of the tub.

What was I nervous about anyway? If she was like Mama, this should be normal. I regained composure. There was no reason for me to act embarrassed. I turned my head towards her to talk. It didn't work. My head exploded with a rush of blood. An unusual feeling stirred in the pit of my stomach. Something must have been in the air, because she suddenly appeared immensely attractive.

I could only mutter "I'm going now," before leaving the bathroom while carefully avoiding seeing her body. This was not the feeling one had for a mother. Natsuki was wrong; I didn't see her like Mama at all. My immediate frustration returned.

I really was in love with Mai.

Was it such a bad thing? Mai was a wonderful person. She cared about everyone, and helped people in need. No one in the world could compare to Mai. After all, she dealt with me on a daily basis. Yet there was one thing that I forgot to take into account. I was not worthy of Mai. She was great, but I was not.

I walked out the door to see a half-naked Mikoto zoom past me. A pang of jealously struck me in the chest. Unlike me, the cat girl didn't have a problem with bathing with Mai. She said something about a promise for ice cream before jumping into the water. Shortly after, screaming ensued as typical of a bath involving Mikoto. I wondered how she kept herself clean when Mai wasn't around to cater to her needs.

My body crashed into the bed. The burden of today's revelation weighed heavily on my mind. The water was running in the bathroom. I wondered what exactly they were doing in there. A few disturbing thoughts flashed through my head. God damn it; I need something to distract me.

The television screen revealed an angry red head glaring at me. My own reflection stared accusingly at me. "Piss off," I mentally screamed. It just kept looking. I could swear that it was laughing at me. I wanted to bash in the screen. Immediately, I stood up and turned it on. It was forced to disappear into moving pictures of light.

Yuuki Nao - 1

Reflection - 0

A cop drama was playing. It didn't seem that interesting. The show was the formulaic everyday production that had been done hundreds of times. Someone was murdered, and then the cops show up. The characters looked generic. I bet I could produce those female actresses on assembly lines. None of them were as good looking as Mai.

Son of a bitch, there I was thinking about Mai again. I shouldn't think about her anymore. Maybe if I ignored my feelings completely, it would go away. It wasn't as if I could simply confess to her and hope it'll end happily ever after. It was moronic to believe that life would simply change at one point to become eternal paradise forever. Everyone called it life, because it was miserable. I knew I was alive, because I was absolutely miserable.

If I could avoid Mai for long enough; my feelings would go away. There would be no need to worry anymore, and I could continue living without caring about anything or anyone. Who was I kidding though? These feelings would drive me insane before they went away. The only option I had was to drive Mai away first. I would be overwhelmed with guilt, but at least I would be free of her. She didn't have to worry about me anymore either. In a way, I was lifting both our burdens. My head crashed into the pillow. Separation from Mai seemed too extreme. There had to be a better way.

--

I left early the next morning, and began wandering around the streets. It was Sunday, we had no school. I probably could have gone to make up classes or some other event, but opted to make a little money instead. Natsuki gave me a file on someone she wanted me to find. I thought it was a good opportunity to distract myself.

I walked down a suburban neighborhood and waited across the street from the subject's house. Natsuki didn't specify why she wanted to know where he was, but I didn't really care. For all I knew, he was her next hit. A middle-aged woman exited the house in a hurry. Her long skirt flapped as she half ran towards the south. I followed her. Maybe she was his mother, maybe she was his wife. I looked at the picture of my target; she was probably his mother.

The guy didn't look much older than me, but he definitely was a wannabe punk. His tousled long black hair covered half of a studded dog collar. He wore the generic leather vest, and a few chains hanged from his pants. A bunch of tattoos lined his arms. I wondered what kind of trouble he managed to get himself into. These types usually stayed within the boundaries of music. Maybe they had a few minor violent scuffles here and there, but they hardly ever got involved in anything really nasty.

The mother quickly got onto a boat. Wonderful, I had to leave our little part of Japan to follow some desperate woman. I didn't even know if she was meeting with my target. For a moment she disappeared from my sight. Damn it; the boat was over crowded. Too many people liked to go on trips on the weekend. Why couldn't they be satisfied within the city?

I found her again, but was careful to keep my distance. It wasn't that much of a problem. I wore a small generic cap and sunglasses to hide my identity. Natsuki always warned me to be careful on these jobs. Some of the targets were just too fucking paranoid.

She faced the sea, yet she was talking. I leaned a little over the rail to see a man hiding his face with a scarf. His hair was short now, but I could tell it was the guy I was looking for. He must have been in real trouble to go to such lengths to hide his identity. It didn't make a difference though; he was really crappy at blending in. The clothing gave him away. The man was covered from head to toe, while trying to remain inconspicuous. I suppose that was the price to pay for having so many tattoos. They were, after all, permanent identifying marks that could be seen from ten meters away.

At the harbor he got off the boat, and headed for a rundown motel. I made sure he was actually staying there before fishing out my cell phone to call Natsuki. She sounded a little depressed when she heard, but asked me to wait and watch for him. Apparently, losing him was a bad idea.

A couple hours later, she showed up at the entrance of the building. I was about to call out to her, but she just looked at me. Something in her expression stopped me from making any noise. A few more minutes passed. She quickly walked out of the building, grabbed me by the arm and led me away in a hurry.

"What the hell?" I yelped as we walked toward the harbor.

"Just come on." She growled, and pulled harder.

I took another glance back at the building. It was decrepit and old. The guy was desperately trying to hide. Natsuki literally ran away after entering the building for a few minutes.

"Shit," I screamed. "That guy was one of your hits." I whispered after. She nodded to confirm my suspicion.

We ended up in her office. I was drinking a soda, while she finished up a cup of ramen topped with mayo. "Why'd anyone kill him?" I asked. He was only a kid, maybe twenty.

"Not really sure," she replied, "probably screwed with the wrong people."

I shrugged my shoulders. Maybe I was supposed to feel bad for him. He didn't look like he deserved death. It didn't have anything to do with me, so I didn't think to care. I changed the subject. "So, what's your codename?"

A look of caution briefly passed through her features. "Aika," she gruffly stated.

I slumped in my seat. "That's so lame," I cried. "Why don't you use something cool like Blue Wolf or Diablo? At least use Duran."

"You read too much manga. Generic names are harder to trace." Well, she had a point. There were far more Aikas in Japan than there were Diablos.

"It's still lame." I grumbled. A minute of silence passed. I stared up at the ceiling looking for something to count. I didn't want to go home, and I didn't have anything else to do. Pervert hunting seemed tempting, but Mai wouldn't approve. Even if I wanted to distance myself, I didn't want to make her upset.

"Why aren't you going home?" Clearly she was annoyed at my presence. It wasn't like I was stopping her from working. She was being her usual cross self. Frankly, I found it pathetic that she wallowed in self pity. Then again, I wasn't one to talk.

"I feel like staying here." Home was empty right now. Mai was working to make up for yesterday. I wanted to see her, yet didn't at the same time.

"Bullshit, what's up with you?" Fucking detective asked too many questions. I wondered if she'd ever learn to butt out.

"None of your business," I snapped. Perhaps I could have gone somewhere else, but I didn't have to keep up my guard here. The outside world was dangerous. I had to beware of my former victims and of new predators.

"It is while you're in my office." Damn, she used the property card against me. I saw it coming, but hoped she was too distracted to care.

"Fine," I screamed. Glaring at her I said, "You know how I told you I was in love with Mai."

"Yeah," she replied. "She's like your mom right?"

"Fuck no!" My hands slammed onto the table. "She's nothing like my mother!"

Natsuki held up her hands to calm me down. "What did you get into a fight or something?"

I didn't comply. Instead, I jumped out of my seat and began pacing in the room. "Nothing like that," I said. I grabbed my hair in frustration while circling her office. "I'm still in love with her."

She gulped. Naturally, this was the worst possible outcome that we could possibly expect. I knew I didn't deserve Mai. If she ended up with me, who knows what hell she'd have to go through. Who knew crap she dealt with for my sake?

"I see." The woman grabbed my arm. "What do you plan to do?"

"What else is there to do?" I snapped my arm back. "I'm going to ignore my feelings, and they'll go away."

"It's not that easy to fall out of love." She stated. What was she now, the break up expert? Last time I checked, she was still going at it with her high school sweetheart.

"Sure it is. I'll just have to put some effort into it." The plan was easy enough. I only had to avoid telling Mai how I felt. We could still be friends, right?

Natsuki sighed. "Don't be naïve."

"What choice do I have? It's not like she'd ever like me. Even if she did, we can't date. I'm not exactly relationship material." I ranted some more, but I doubt my friend was listening.

"Listen, I've been thinking. Maybe you should go for it?" Her words froze me to the ground. What the hell was wrong with her? Natsuki Kuga didn't mind that I, the walking billboard of troubled children, had a crush on our mutual friend, that kind, tolerant, patient woman who basically threw away her adolescent years to pay for her brother's heart surgery.

I slowly turned to face her. "Are you serious?"

She nodded. "Yeah, sure, why not?" she replied. Maybe she started taking drugs. One thing was for sure, she had lost her mind.

I tilted my head to examine her in a new light, held my hand up to her forehead, and checked her pupils. She didn't appear to be high. "You're insane." I told her.

She waved away my hand in annoyance, and leaned back. "No, I'm serious. It won't be so bad." A smug smile appeared on her face. It made me want to punch her. "Think about it. Mai already knows your bad side, and she's got you whipped."

"I'm not whipped." Listening to Mai about one thing did not make me whipped.

"Sure you are. When was the last time you threw your clothes on the floor?" Crap.

When did I start picking up after myself? It didn't matter; my cleanliness meant nothing. Natsuki was drawing wild conclusions. "Doesn't matter anyway," I said. "I can't go out with Mai."

"What's stopping you?" She crossed her arms, daring me to tell her she was wrong.

"Me." I replied.

"That's stupid." She grumbled.

I thought of a way to explain myself. "Isn't it selfish of you?"

"Selfish," she said, "how?"

"To keep your job a secret from Fujino," I finished.

Her face contorted into a mix of displeasure and shame. "I don't want her to know that side of me."

"Why?" Now I was getting through to her.

"Because it means that she'd know I'm a murderer." She sighed. "Because she'd forgive me even though I can't forgive myself." Some moisture built up in her eyes, and she wiped them away quickly.

I nodded my head when it looked like she understood. The two of us were less innocent than most of the other himes. We hurt a lot of people. Until Mai, I didn't think anything of it, but now, I knew it would come back to haunt me.

"Still, I don't think you should give up," she told me.

I slapped my forehead in frustration. All this talk basically led nowhere. Damn Natsuki was so fucking stubborn. Screw it. I stood up, waved a quick goodbye, and left the office. The door closed behind me. On the other side, Natsuki called Fujino.

--

Asahara was waiting for me outside the building. She knew I worked here on my free time, so I guess it was smart of her to come. It was annoying that she still chose to follow me around, but for the time being, she was not my largest problem. I took her to an empty warehouse, and told her that we were learning new ways to fight. I wasn't going to beat her up too badly, but really needed to expend my built up frustrations. She happily accepted my offer.

I didn't go easy. Every time she got into position, I managed to flip her back onto the ground. It was lucky that I didn't throw too many punches. The bruises would have raised too many questions. Maybe this way the girl would learn to stay away from me.

"Senpai, you're being too hard." She whined while rubbing her hurt butt. It was her own fault for following me around like some lost puppy. She should've learned to break free from her troubled family life.

"You want to learn or what?" I growled back. We paused in the one-sided sparring match.

"But Senpai," she said, "you're not teaching anything."

"I'm teaching you how to fall."

"But Senpai," she complained.

"If you can't take it, go home!" I yelled at her.

She began to cry. "What happened? Why are you so mean today? I want you to be nice again."

Her words hit like a ton of bricks. Sad, sardonic laughter escaped my mouth. I laughed so hard that I was crying. The cold grip of despair seized my heart.

She looked at me quizzically. "Senpai?"

"What universe have you been living in? When have I ever been nice?" I grabbed her tightly to see her wince in pain. "You know nothing about me. The Yuuki Nao you think you love doesn't exist. She will never exist."

Tears began to fall from her eyes. "Please stop. You're hurting me."

"Why stop? You never hated it before." I feel the corners of my mouth lift into a sadistic smile. "Didn't you want this? You wanted me to take you." I forced her against the wall. My body was against hers. Our noses were touching. "To be as close as this," I finished. Her panicked hot breath was spreading over my chin. I could hear it, her heart beat.

"Senpai," she whimpered.

Asahara Makino, a lost little girl in a world full of wolves. This was her fault. If it weren't for her, I would never have gone on that damned picnic. I would never have realized my true feelings for Mai. I would never be trapped in this corner of hell trying to avoid every drop of temptation that flowed off of Mai like an uncontrollable fountain. I wanted to kill her.

A trickle of blood rolled from her lips. I closed in to take them. My hands wandered down her arms to her sides, then to the hem of her skirt. I pulled at it. She screamed and slapped me away. Shock ran through my system. I was about to do the same thing all those guys wanted to do. All this time I at least prided myself better than them, but I was nothing more than a hypocrite walking around in sheep's clothing.

Her eyes glared at me with defiance, fear and betrayal. For a moment, I felt proud that she could even get the courage to retaliate. She took off before I could apologize. Guess there was little point; I had done something inexcusable. A part of me wanted to hurt her in the worst possible way, and that was unforgivable. I had never felt so filthy. At least, it seemed like this would solve my stalker problem, even if it was far from the way I wanted.

--

Peace at last, or so it seemed. Asahara didn't come near me after that. Once in a while, I'd catch her hanging around Fuuka Academy, only to watch her run away before I got near. It bothered me that we parted on such bad terms, but it wasn't as if I was going to get on my knees, and beg for her to return. She didn't mean that much to me.

I did miss her presence a little. She was like the annoying little sister I never had, the one that would follow her Onee-chan everywhere. Trips downtown were less interesting now. Stakeouts were almost unbearably boring. At least the girl would try to chat with me during the long stretch of waiting. It had never occurred to me how patient she was to silently wait by my side.

It was frustrating. I took on more jobs from Natsuki to avoid seeing Mai, but the jobs were boring, which is probably why the woman so easily dumped them on me. It was surprising to see how well her business went; it made me wonder why she even had a side job. Maybe she was trying to earn money for Fujino.

Now I was around often enough to notice that not everything was perfect between the lovers. Something had gone awry in their fairy tale, and it wasn't that Natsuki told her the truth about her job. Something on Fujino's end did not happen the way they wanted. Now I knew why she told me life sucked.

I sulked in the little street corner by the trash heap. Mai hadn't noticed my absence at all. It had been nearly a month since the picnic. I hadn't really spoken to her since, and she made no effort to communicate with me either. I couldn't expect her to exert the effort, but I wished she would. It hurt a lot to think about it. Only in a fantasy would she miss my presence, even just a little.

The temptation to drop by La Madeline's was unbearable. Did she think about me at all? In all reality, probably not, but it didn't hurt to dream. I had to think of all the things I hated about her. Mai was annoying, controlling, emotional and stubborn. We would drive each other insane. It would never work. I needed to give up.

My new subject walked out of her suburban home in a pretty sundress and yellow hat. It was very stereotypical of innocent housewives going out to shop. Unfortunately, if Natsuki's client was right, she was walking to meet up with another man.

I began to follow her. She joined up with a few other housewives, and an ever rare house husband. It certainly threw the cheating housewife theory out the window. Perhaps her husband was naturally the jealous type. Luckily, our discretion was to his advantage. If I did my job right, she would never know I was tailing her.

The group walked around the block, and entered a typical looking suburban house. While I did not know why so many people opted to enter the home; I knew that even with its normal décor, the house was a little too shady, literally. Despite the nice sunny day with a cool breeze, the curtains were drawn. Unlike its neighbors who had light-colored, lacy curtains, they were heavy and dark.

I easily hopped into the yard, and looked around. The curtains were pretty thick. I couldn't get a glimpse into the bottom floor. Somehow I had to climb up to the second floor, and get a peak in from there. Sure it counted as trespassing, but it mattered only if I got caught.

My body was light enough for me to crawl up some vine racks to reach the second floor balcony. No one was inside the room. From observation, it belonged to some teenage child, probably a girl, or a really gay boy. Either way it didn't matter too much. I sneaked around the top floor, making sure to inspect every room before entering.

I finally reached the stairs down. My eyes glanced to the living room, only to be met with one of the most shocking things that I'd probably ever see. Everyone in the comely little group I had followed was having wild sex on the floor, sort of. A couple of women were tied up and fastened to the ceiling via rope.

To think, until now I though all the strange noises were simply meowing cats. To justify myself, no one would conclude that a massive orgy was taking place downstairs. Suburbanites were really into kinky things.

The sound of a riding crop snap was followed by a short scream of pain. Regaining composure, I spotted my housewife for today, and snapped a few photos. Perhaps it would bode well for her marriage. After all, how many housewives out there were willing to participate in group sex? It was voyeuristic, but they did say dirty sex kept the marriage happy.

Carefully, I silently left the building. My work for today was done, and I had a little bit of spare time. My head slumped; I didn't want to go home. Everything there would make me think of Mai, so I opted to walk around the city.

I wondered if there were any perverts tonight. There was little point to my mental question. Perverts existed everywhere and anywhere. They were active at all times of the day; the only question I should have asked was if there were any potential victims wandering around the streets. One look down an alleyway answered my question.

"Hey, what are you kids doing back there?" I yelled with my toughest voice. I found the method less satisfying than actually tying men up naked, but it was a suitable substitution to please my newfound important person. The couple quickly scrambled out of the backstreet into the public area where inappropriate actions were strongly discouraged by the general public.

"Nao what are you doing?" Crap it was Mai. What was Mai doing in a place like this? She should be at work.

I quickly scrambled to position myself into a more innocent stance. Wait, I wasn't doing anything wrong. "Mai, what are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for you. Asahara-san burst into La Madeline's screaming about how I turned you into someone evil." She crossed her arms.

Ah great, that came to bite me in the ass. "Well, you see…" I trailed off. There wasn't anything to say. It was kind of true, but not. My agitation that day was due to Mai, but I was never a good person. Evil suited me much better than the shiny white armor of Asahara's fantasy knight.

"What did you do to her?" She demanded.

I couldn't really tell her the truth, or maybe I could choose to leave out certain details. The event had troubled me every day since. My mouth began moving on its own. "I did something unforgivable, because I was frustrated, but it's too late to take it back now."

"What did you do?" she calmly asked. Her voice softened just a little bit during the sentence. The effect just made me want to confess more.

"I-" A scream interrupted our conversation.

"You killed my son!" I turned around to see a woman with a gun.

I instinctively put myself between her and Mai. The middle-aged woman's hands were shaking; she had obviously never held one of those things before. It was a mystery how she even got it. A man appeared beside her. He was wearing one of the most disgusting grey sweaters I've ever seen. A flat, but annoying smile graced his wrinkling face.

"She's the one I saw lurking outside your house Hanai-san." He gestured to me. "I told you she liked to come here."

"Nao, do you know what's going on?" Mai quietly asked me.

"Not a clue, but don't move okay?" I glanced at her to see her troubled face.

"Shut up! How dare you?" Hanai-san screamed. "You murdered my son, and now you just forgot?"

Our arms were raised in surrender. "Look, I have no idea what you're talking about." I probably could have taken her out, but Mai would've been unhappy. Plus, even if I managed to get near enough, she could still hurt Mai, or the guy next to her could help.

"Liar!" She shot at the brick behind us. It was loud; maybe someone would come and help.

"Nao, maybe she's talking about that guy who shot you." Mai whispered to me again.

"But she's way too young to be his mom. He was like forty-five." She couldn't have been more than fifty.

"You followed me onto the boat a month ago. I remember your hat. It had Youji's favorite baseball team on it." I shoplifted that hat from a local store. I mentally noted to never steal things with sports logos again.

She was talking about Natsuki's hit. I'd forgotten about it. At the time, a kid's death was the least of my worries. "I really don't know what you're talking about. A month ago I was visiting my cousin."

"Don't listen to her Hanai-san. She's a liar and a criminal." The really annoying man stated.

"That's right," the woman confirmed to herself. "You even robbed Uoya-san. I can't trust a word you say."

I arched my eyebrow, and examined the man more closely. It couldn't be.

Mai spoke from behind me. "He's the one you can't trust. My friend only robs men who target young girls for sex."

"Too much info," I said to her.

Hanai-san looked a little confused for a moment. She cautiously glanced at her partner. If he was one of my targets, then the signs were all there; it was only a matter of noticing them. The gears of her mind were working. It was obvious she slowly realized his true nature.

"Why did you kill my little boy then? He never hurt anyone." She said. Disbelief laced in her voice.

"I never touched your kid." I yelled at her. "Last month I went to visit my cousin."

Mai tried her best to calm the woman down. "Come on now, you can't possibly believe that Nao could hurt your son."

"Don't believe them Hanai-san." He moved to steady her weakening arms.

"Shut up old man!" I yelled. "You're just telling her things to get revenge on me for tying you up naked. Fucking pervert!"

"Liar, I would never hurt a child." He growled. "Pull the trigger and avenge your son Hanai-san."

"That's not what your emails said." I retorted.

"Is it true?" She turned to Uoya. Expectedly, she didn't trust her own instincts about him, and relied on their personal connection as neighbors.

"Of course not, she's just trying to confuse you." His face literally changed demeanors once he turned back to me. That sweet smile he showed her transformed into one of sick pleasure.

I was worried. Mai was here; I couldn't protect her properly. This was my fault. The both of them wanted me. "Look, please just let Mai walk away. She's got nothing to do with this."

"We can't." The man spoke. "She'd just go get help. I'm afraid both of you have to die."

The woman frowned. "Wait, Uoya-san. I only want revenge for Youji. If she's got nothing-"

"Nonsense, you don't want to spend time in jail right? After all, you have Chiza-chan to care for." He was playing to her maternal instinct now. Bastard didn't bother to talk her out of getting a gun to take revenge, but managed to talk her out of letting Mai go. What I wouldn't give to feel his blood gushing own beneath my blade.

The woman carefully nodded, and slowly raised her weapon. Her hands were shaking badly, and her hesitation was driving the man nuts.

"For God's sake," he grumbled before taking the gun. Aiming directly at me, he pulled the trigger.

Something pushed me to the side. A loud explosion echoed in the small alleyway. I seized the opportunity, and ran up to bury my knife into his neck before he could get off another shot. The blade cleanly went in and out, severing a major artery. He gurgled his last breaths. Hanai-san ran off screaming. We were safe for the time being.

I turned around to see Mai slumped over on the ground. "Mai," I said.

She held her stomach tightly, and winced in pain. Still, she looked up and smiled at me before falling over into my chest.

"Shit." I called for emergency services on my cell phone. "You can't die on me Mai."

She looked up at me, and forced a laugh. "Why not? No one needs me anymore."

"What are you talking about Mai? Everyone needs you." I could feel tears rolling down my face.

"No, Takumi has Akira now. Yuuichi's moved on. You've been avoiding me. Even Mikoto's grown up." She coughed, and then groaned in pain.

Damn it all. She noticed, just like I wished. I regretted everything. "No," I cried. "No Mai, you have it wrong. Everyone still needs you. You're important. I still need you."

"Then why did you disappear after the picnic? Why couldn't I reach you all month?" Her breathing grew shallow.

"Mai, don't give up please." I begged for her to live. "Mai please, I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you."

Slowly her eyes began to droop. Where the hell were the paramedics? I did my best to keep pressure on the wound.

"Mai, I have a confession." I whispered softly. A hum escaped her mouth. "I've been avoiding you, because I've totally and completely fallen in love with you."

Her eyes widened a little. The cloth in my hand was soaked with blood. Sirens were blaring in the background.

I could only smile weakly. "I don't know what I would do without you, so please live. Give me a second chance. I'll do everything right. I promise."

--

Please review


	13. Chapter 13

_Thank you for all the reviews and messages. This wasn't supposed to be a chapter by itself, but I have stalled too long in writing it. _

_School has started, so thus my time is limited. No excuses this time for they have little meaning. By now, you should know that I will always be late in updating. _

_Dear Yoji – holy shit I didn't make the name connection until you mentioned it. I'm very sorry, and will be sure to run around screaming my head off while pulling out my hair as punishment. Rest assured, it is not a subtle reference to my feelings for you. I randomly chose the name off some list I googled. You told me not to stall, yet I did anyway. Apologies! _

_--_

Mai was in surgery. My body was pacing in the waiting room, but my mind was on her, only her. The hospital was dark. The walls were closing in on me. Everything was out of place. The entire room smelled like disinfectant.

"Oh God, please let her live." I begged.

She had to live. If she didn't, I would go out and kill those paramedics who took too long, and the emergency service operator who couldn't do his job fast enough. Still, they were inconsequential. The only person I wanted to take punish was myself. Sure, there was always that Uoya bastard, but he was dead now, by my hand no less.

The knowledge of revenge was meaningless. At the time, I took his life to protect the both of us, but I failed in my task. Mai saved my life by putting herself at risk. If she died, then I'd die. I could never live with the fact that her soul replaced mine in the darkness of the afterlife. What was I supposed to do then?

Other people were there waiting for Mai's surgery to end. Only Takumi grasped my attention for a few moments as he broke down in tears after the nurses explained what happened. Anyone who tried to talk to me was quickly brushed off or yelled at. I even punched Tate. He looked like the only one who could take a hit without repercussions.

What was taking so long? Why couldn't the doctors finish. The longer it took, the lower her chances seemed to be.

It was my fault. My past and my present life put her in danger. If only I had just jumped off a bridge after Mama died. Then Mai wouldn't have been shot, and I'd be with Mama. It was too late now to do anything.

Four hours passed, the doctor came out of surgery. His shoulders were slumped, revealing how tired he was. The bastard better not have fucked up. His shirt was covered in smears of blood, probably Mai's. Slowly, he took off part of his mask to reveal a grim smile. Was it good that he was smiling, or was it bad because he looked like he accepted a sad fate?

"She's going to be fine. The bullet didn't hit any major organs." If it didn't, why the hell did they take so long? "We have her stabilized. Family can look in on her, but that's the best we can offer. Everyone else will simply have to wait until she's awake."

Damn, I wish I were family right now. Takumi went into her room while the rest of us waited outside in anticipation. Even if he was a doctor, we couldn't simply take him at his word. He was a stranger who didn't care about Mai like we did, not as much as I did.

She didn't wake up until the morning. It was good that she got rest, because I certainly didn't. Takumi told us she looked fine. Everyone went in to see her and wish her well. We were warned that she was still recovering and needed a lot of rest.

The door opened, but I couldn't bring myself to walk in. Panic rose in my chest, but I managed to suppress my feelings. At the very least, I had to see if she was truly okay.

Mai was happily chatting with everyone, though her voice sounded a little strained. Of course she didn't share how tired she was, or how much pain she was in. Sure, there were painkillers, but she couldn't take too much. Everyone greeted her positively, and wished her well. Mai was always the type to get along with everyone. We were different like that.

I shrunk to the back of the small crowd of visitors. How could I talk to her after confessing suddenly? She probably felt disgusted with me right now. It was one thing to have a lesbian friend, but another to be the object of her crush.

The nurses ushered us out of the room. They knew she was being overwhelmed, so sent us home. I was relieved. I didn't have to confront her about my feelings or hers. It hurt to know that she would probably reject me. Even more, I was afraid that she would despise me for my feelings. Was there any way for us to return to the way things were before I loved her?

I know I promised to do everything right, but it was only said to convince her to hold on longer. My words were as empty as the air. I was doing the right thing. Staying away was painful, but it'll hurt less this way. Even if Mai got angry, she could forget easier.

A couple of detectives talked to me a couple of days after. They wanted to know why I was involved in a previous shooting, why I was there, and why I carried around a knife. Wasn't it obvious to them? It didn't matter.

I lied. "Both men wanted to take advantage of me. I got lost in the area. Knives are great for cutting up cardboard."

They didn't seem to care if it was true. As long as they had something to write into the report, it didn't matter. One of the detectives mentioned that Uoya had a record. He wondered if I knew, or more accurately, had personal experience.

I shook my head. "I've never seen him before."

The officer let it go. "The world is better without men like him." He murmured before walking away.

Officially the case was closed. There was no guarantee that I would not be the subject of any future attacks. With my past, the likeliness was high.

A week after the incident, I snuck into the hospital in the middle of the night. School prevented visits during the daytime, and everyone else was there afterwards. Had it not been for Natsuki, I would have preferred to avoid seeing Mai altogether. There was nothing to say to her.

Mai was asleep. I could see her without being noticed, or forced to face her. She lay there peacefully, lightly breathing on the bed. I was so tempted to lightly brush over her hair. Perhaps just to feel a bit of her body. Looking at it, I knew it would be soft. The individual orange strands shimmered underneath the incandescent bulbs that worked as nightlights in the room.

My hand reached out to her face.

"Nao." She spoke. Her eyes fluttered open to reveal glittering lavender orbs.

I snapped my hand back. "You're awake." My voice was harsher than I intended.

"It's nice of you to finally drop by." She was scolding me. I knew she would be angry at my absence, so hoped that she would not awaken at this time of night.

"I'm sorry for disturbing your sleep." I muttered before moving to leave.

Before I could even take a step, she shouted to me, "What you said was true wasn't it?"

I put on my best sly smile, and turned towards her. "Would you like it to be?" My right index finger touched my lips. Then I casually shrugged. "I just said it to keep you alive, that's all."

"Nao." Her tone commanded me with an authority that I never knew she had. Our eyes met. Without words, they begged me to tell them.

I ignored her silent plea. "That is all there is to it." My hands went into my pockets, and focused my attention at the ground. The small movement successfully masked the upper part of my face behind some hair.

"Nao." Her voice grew firm. "Don't lie."

Still, I was stubborn. "I'm not lying." I said more for myself than for her.

"Then look at me." Damn Mai, why was she so persistent?

I bit my lip. Could I face those indigo eyes and lie? "I'm not lying." My voice was shaking. Wet tears were building up in my eyes.

"You are," she calmly said.

"So what if I am!" Our eyes met again. "Are you happy now? Aren't you glad to know that I'm a disgusting lesbian in love with you," I screamed, "that I can't stop thinking about you, or that every part of me wants you?" My hands slammed on the side of the bed.

I glared at her in anger and sadness, and steeled myself for rejection. I knew Mai didn't like girls. An image of her disgusted face flashed across my mind. It broke my heart. I could live with anything but that. Mustering what was left of my courage, I looked straight at her, expecting accusing eyes of hatred and revulsion. What I saw was guilt.

Her hand took mine. "Thank you."

My heart sank. Knowing that I'd be rejected, and actually being rejected were very different things. The reality felt worse than anything I could imagine. I bit my lip and closed my eyes to suppress the building tears.

It was worse, because she was trying to be nice. If she yelled at me for being stupid, or tried to convince me that my feelings were not what I thought they were, I could direct my pain and anger at her. Yet here she was, squeezing my hand tightly in understanding, as if trying to say, "I'm sorry, but I can't accept your feelings."

"Nao, I-"

The nurse walked in at that moment. "Who are you? How did you get in here?" Her aging face wrinkled around the brows and eyes. She glared at me with an exceptionally annoyed expression. It appeared as if she was prepared to tear out my throat for entering without permission.

I stuttered to respond. She quickly tried to usher me out of the room. I was more than willing to comply. At least this saved me from hearing the rest.

"Wait Nao," she shouted. Without thinking, she leaned towards me to grab my sleeve before I could leave.

I looked at her, then at her hand. "Mai, there really isn't anything else to say."

The nurse was annoyed with us, but remained calm and understanding. "You may see her during normal visitor hours." A kind smile was displayed for purple eyes.

In some ways, I didn't want her to let go. For now, I was as close as I would ever be for the rest of my life. Soon, I knew I had to distance myself more. There was no choice. If I truly wanted to get over Mai, I had to be separated from her. First step would involve moving out of the room. I'm sure she wouldn't mind sharing with Mikoto. They had been roommates before.

"This can't wait." Didn't she understand? It was torture being here, sweet agony, but painful nonetheless. The presence of the nurse faded from my mind.

"Let go." I tugged my arm away from her, but not enough to completely take it back. My neutral composure was quickly deteriorating. The longer I stayed, the more likely that I would simply break down in front of her.

"No," she insisted.

"Mai-"

She forcefully pulled me towards the bed. Her lips were soft, and tasted like pudding. Her left hand held tightly on my collar, and her right was still holding my shirtsleeve. Mai was kissing me. My head was on cloud nine. I could not believe my senses. This had to be a dream.

It should have lasted forever, and I wanted more than anything to deepen the kiss. However, Mai broke off first and whispered, "I don't know how I feel about you, but I'm willing to find out."

Now the nurse was really pissed. She grabbed me by the scruff of my collar and dragged me off. "I was really patient with you two, but that's it. How dare you desecrate this hospital? Sneaking around and kissing in the recovery ward?" We rounded a corner. "Absolutely unacceptable," she commented, "girls should know better."

All that mattered was that Mai kissed me. She told me she was unsure of her feelings, but gave me a chance. As soon as I was out the door, I began shouting for joy at the entrance to the hospital. It didn't matter of all the doctors thought I was insane, or that the paramedics passing by were eyeing me like I was taking drugs. Mai kissed me!

The next day I had school. It was long, boring and unbelievably tedious. Were all these things necessary for the future? Did I really need to know all these equations, or historical facts? What good would they do for me in terms of finding a job? As I knew it now, my future did not lie in attending college. It was far too expensive, and I certainly did not work hard enough to get into an affordable one.

I began doodling on my desk with a pencil. At first, the lead would smear off the smooth, reflective surface. In an hour, the thin layer of the false wood finish was gone, and I was scratching at a spongy, mostly wood surface.

"Mai," I wrote. "Mai," I scratched again. Over and over, I scratched her name in the same place. It would have been embarrassing, if I cared what anyone else thought. No one in my class came near me. They were afraid. I wasn't exactly nice. I wasn't afraid to use others, and I had killed two men. If the first two weren't indicators, the last one really created a gigantic vacuum around me.

The teacher heard my pencil, and threw and eraser at my head. "Pay attention." Thankfully, he did not know I was defacing school property, yet.

As soon as school was out, I bought flowers and headed towards the hospital. This was the proper way to wish someone well, at least that's what television told me. I'm sure there were other methods, like cards, but flowers were nice. Most women liked flowers, and I hoped Mai enjoyed the violet ones I bought her, even though I didn't have a clue what they were called. All I knew was that they matched her eyes. I wanted to see her face light up.

Asahara was there. They were talking. I overheard them through a thin sheet that separated the patients from each other. "I'm sorry for my behavior Tokiha-san."

Mai kindly disagreed. "You're a good person Asahara-san. Whatever Nao did was probably over the top."

I could hear Asahara twiddle her fingers shyly. "I've been thinking this whole month. Nao-sempai was right; I didn't know anything about her, and I'm sorry I blamed you."

"It's all right." She was too nice to that girl.

"I can see you really care about her." Her shadow shifted uncomfortably through the sheet. "And I promise not to get in your way anymore," she said.

Well, that solved that problem. I was tempted to apologize to the girl for my behavior, but did not. In the end, it did her some good, so there was no reason to feel bad.

"What did Nao do?" Son of a bitch, please don't go down that road Mai. It was time that I stepped in.

"Asahara," I called in a low threatening voice, and acknowledged her presence with a slight tilt of my head. The flowers went to Mai. Seeing her face light up was more than beautiful.

Her smile made me smile. "Thank you Nao," she said.

The third girl tried to slink away, and I would have let her, but Mai apparently did not think the same. "Asahara-san, please stay for a moment."

I frowned at the request. There was no reason for an interloper.

"Tokiha-san, it'd be better that I leave." The girl shrunk back from my glare.

"Wait," ordered Mai. She turned to me and said, "Nao, apologize for whatever you did."

I bit my lip. There was no reason to apologize. The girl learned a good lesson; everything worked out in the end. Yet, I acquiesced to the demand. Everything **was** going to be right this time. "Fine," I continued, "I'm sorry for doing those things to you. It was very wrong of me." My hand held the back of my neck to relieve the awkwardness in the room.

"No, it was my fault. I pushed you too far." said Asahara. She let her hands drop to her sides before bowing towards me. "Please can we at least be friends."

Her tenacity surprised me. I had nearly violated her, and she wished to be friends. Desperation was a frightening thing. I took one look at Mai to confirm what I thought she wanted me to do. Her threatening smile told me all I needed to know. "Umm, yeah, sure, whatever," I said.

The girl left with a large grin on her face.

Finally, I could focus my full attention on Mai. Then her brother showed up. Damn.

"Nee-chan," he greeted enthusiastically. "Where did you get those flowers?"

"Nao gave them to me, aren't they nice." She held them up for everyone to see.

"Akira," I greeted. The ninja nodded to acknowledge me in turn. We stared at each other.

"Alright Onee-chan, the nurses will bring around a wheelchair."

Wait, what the hell was going on? I looked at Mai questioningly.

She noticed my confusion. "I get discharged today."

"Oh," was all I mustered. I couldn't exactly say that I was looking forward to visiting her more often, or helping her adjust her pillow. I couldn't say that as much as I hated hospitals, her presence alone made it tolerable. "Are you coming back to the dorm?"

She chuckled and shook her head. "I'm staying with Yukariko-san for a little while."

I frowned. "Why aren't you coming back with me?"

"Don't be silly Nao. You're still a student; you don't have time to take care of a sick person." She stated.

A bubble of anger rose in my chest. Did this mean she still thought I was a kid? After last night, was she just fucking around with me? Perfect, I bared my soul to her, and she still thought of me as some bratty dipshit with a crush.

I tightened my fists. "If that's what you want."

She noticed my sudden change. "Nao," she said in soft voice, and would have said more if it weren't for Takumi and Akira hanging around. The pair looked at us in a strange way, but quickly recovered their demeanors. I, however, was seething with anger and did not want to hear another word.

"Onee-chan will only be there for a little bit. Don't worry." He happily patted my back to reassure me. Akira narrowed her eyes and drew her mouth into a line.

Withdrawing, I slowly backed away from the three as soon as Mai was too preoccupied by her fussing brother to notice my absence. In no time, I was out of the building, and on my way home to sulk. Damn Mai didn't think I could take care of her. Who the fuck cared about school? If she needed me, I would come running no matter what. I wasn't some bratty kid looking to take care of some sick puppy. If she didn't think I could handle it, why'd she agree to go out with me at all? Was I just some fling? Did she just want to experiment?

God damn it! I kicked over a newspaper stand. Mai better not have been screwing with me! If she was, I would…

What would I do? Would I hurt her? Would I hurt myself? My eyes closed. A deep breath let in cold air into my lungs, and calmed my heart.

I would never trust another person again.

But she isn't like that. Tokiha Mai was a kind person, who would sacrifice everything for the people she loved. She wasn't the type to lead me on. Whatever she said last night, she meant it. I was being paranoid, and moronic. It wasn't as if she knew I wanted to take care of her before last night, and she probably arranged it with Sister long before she could confirm my feelings.

Fuck, I should probably apologize later.

I was acting irrationally. It's been less than twenty-four hours. What was it about her that drove me crazy? How could she affect me so much?

I loved her.

I really loved her.

I needed her to feel the same. Somehow, I had to make Mai fall in love with me.

Vibrating in my pocket brought me out of my thoughts. The cell phone rang with an annoyingly cute melody I used to use on old perverted men. There was little point in changing it now.

It was Mai. The tone played for a couple more seconds. Nervously, I answered, "Mai?"

"Nao, where did you go? I was worried when you disappeared." Her voice was a little shaky, and higher pitched than usual. She was in pain. My chest hurt from empathy.

"I needed to take care of something at home. Are you at Sister's yet? Are you alright?" Was the former nun taking good care of her? Were her brats bothering Mai?

"I'm fine. Yukariko-san is doing good job. I feel bad for imposing on her like this." Awkward silence followed. "Nao-"

"I'm sorry for leaving you there." I interrupted. "How about I make it up with a date this Saturday?"

She laughed. "I'm still recovering. We can't go anywhere."

"I just want to spend a little time together." I replied. "We can talk and watch television. I'll show you the best indoor date you've ever had." Even if she didn't love me, I would convince her. This was my second chance, and I wasn't going to throw it away.

"That would be nice. I look forward to it." She clicked her tongue, and mumbled something I couldn't hear. "I'm sorry Nao, I have to go. Come here Saturday; I'm sure we'll have fun." Her voice was positive. I regretted letting her hang up, but felt excited about the possibility of my first date with Mai.

I had never thought about dating seriously before. All those men before were nothing more than playthings and targets. They gave me things and wanted favors in return. I let them touch me a little bit, and then mugged them as soon as we were alone. Now I was going on a date with Mai. My usual plan couldn't work. I had to think of something fun to do.

A DVD sounded great. What kind of movies did Mai like? Shit, I probably should have asked her. Would she think less of me if I didn't know her likes and dislikes? What did I know about Mai? I sat down on a nearby swing in the middle of the park I was passing through.

She's nice, has a mothering complex and loves to cook. She's had many part time jobs and wielded Kagutsuchi. She also…works at a café.

I really didn't know anything about her. How could I say I love her? My words were bullshit. I didn't even know her favorite color. I'm the worst person on Earth. It was frustrating to realize that she was a mystery to me regardless of how long we've lived together. Since she moved in, I had done nothing but ignore her or avoid her.

This was my chance to redeem myself. If I truly cared anything for Mai, then I would learn more about her. I would never hurt her, not the way Tate did. We would not end up the like her previous relationship. Still, a little bubble of doubt hovered in the back of my mind.

She didn't love me, not yet. Actually, she may never fall in love with me. Then, was all this real? Did Mai really mean what she said, or were her words rays of false hope? Mai always tried to please everyone, so she probably said those things to please me, even at the price of her own displeasure. I felt horrible for using that part of her like this, and though I was convincing myself that she would eventually fall in love, there was also the possibility that I was just forcing myself on her.

I would never hurt you Mai, so please don't lead me on.

--

The weather was pleasant that Saturday afternoon. I showed up to the door with a single rose and a backpack full of random DVDs I borrowed from various sources. Mai was lying in a futon in her own special room on the first floor of the home. I had to hand it to Sister; she knew how to treat a guest, and I was extremely grateful that Mai ended up recovering here. I couldn't have done a better job.

"Hey," she greeted warmly.

"Umm, hey," I replied. It hurt to see her stuck in the futon. She was there because of me. She saved my life. Without thinking, I offered the flower to her.

She laughed. "Thank you," she said sweetly and carefully smelled the petals. "Beautiful."

I looked around. There was a television in the room, but I wasn't quite ready to begin our night. "Mai, would it be okay if I wheeled you outside a bit?"

She tilted her head in thought. "The outside air would be good for me, but I'm afraid the doctor told me to avoid too much movement in case my stitches tear."

"Can't we use the wheelchair?" It was my chance to show my sweet side, or the thing closest to it. I, Yuuki Nao, was not a robotic pervert hunter. I could be romantic too.

She seemed unsure, and maybe a little unwilling to venture outside. Was it because she had to be in a wheelchair, or was it because of me? Maybe she was too embarrassed to go outside with me. Well, there was no reason to be embarrassed; we'd look like two normal girls walking around outside in the park. Damn, did she think I was going to do something? Regardless, we eventually were on our way out.

She looked embarrassed. Her face was slightly pink, and a nervous smile graced her features. It was frustrating me, because I did not know why.

"I feel terrible to make you do this." Was that the reason for her unwillingness, her sense of Japanese courtesy? Didn't she know that those things didn't matter to me?

"Why? I'm the one who asked you." We strolled across the street. The trees were green this time of year, and a few had flowers on them. It wasn't as beautiful as a Sakura festival, but nice nonetheless. I hoped that Mai would like the view at least.

"But you have to push me around in a wheelchair. Isn't it embarrassing?" She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

I stopped, and moved in front of her. Kneeling down, I asked, "Are you embarrassed to be with me?" Did she find my presence humiliating?

"Never!" she shouted, and then suddenly moved in her seat to grab my arm. A cry of pain escaped her lips.

Concerned, I tried to steady her, and check if her wound reopened. "Are you alright?"

"It's you I'm worried about." Her calm voice admitted.

I laughed heartily and held her hand up to my face. "I don't give a shit about what these people think." My hand pointed in the general direction of the park center. "I only care about you."

She blushed at my statement. It made me feel a little nervous, but it was incredibly cute. I'd like to see that shade of pink on her face a little more often.

"Thank you," she said.

I seductively licked her fingers before getting up and continuing our little journey. Mai's face was completely red.

We got back to the house a little after four, and prepared for a night filled with movies and snacks. Well, it was a movie and liquid snacks, per doctor's orders.

"What are we watching first?" Mai was nicely situated on a comfy futon now. There were plenty of pillows to support her back. I wouldn't have minded if she preferred to lean on me either.

"Three Days till Forever," I replied. The DVD came out of its packet and went straight into the player. As soon as sound and picture came through, I moved next to Mai. She smelled slightly of soap and mothballs.

My hand tentatively reached out to hers. She chastised me for licking her earlier, so I was a little wary of going too far. Maybe she'd let me hold it at least. It twitched, and I withdrew. Mai noticed my sudden movement and looked at me in confusion. My heart was beating faster. I still wanted to feel her hand in mine.

The feature film finally started playing. The loud introduction was drawing her attention away from me. I sighed; was this as far as I was going to get?

Out of nowhere, she suddenly clasped my twitching hand, and held it close to her lap. "Nao, let's enjoy it."

I squeezed her hand and nodded.

_--_

_Challenge for my readers: Leave a joke in the reviews. It doesn't have to be a joke; it can be a flame, a rant, sexual innuendo, or most interesting of all, a picture of a naked person made entirely out of keyboard symbols. _


	14. Chapter 14

_I'm sorry that everyone's attempt at drawing an ASCII naked woman was thoroughly thwarted by fanfiction's text formatting. Truthfully, I expected more lewd comments than actual pictures; however, it was a satisfactory turn out. Your reviews have made me immensely happy, and though my time is restricted, I am working very hard to finish this small project. _

_It has come to my attention that this story desperately needs to be edited. Not only are there major grammar errors, but the basic story flow is atrocious; hence I shall begin slowly reworking the chapters. There will be no major changes in plot, but probably wording and sentences will be redone to fit better. _

_To iforgotmypassword: Nao is kind of like spicy/sweet sauce (perhaps tangy). She's so damn hot, it burns, but oh God, one feels like sinning with her. _

_To Hikairi: thank you for the review. I look forward to more comments from you, and will respond should you choose to drop me an email. _

_--  
_

You have an addiction ch. 14

Every couple of minutes I would glance over at her. It was hard to believe that I never noticed how beautiful she was before. My hand squeezed hers tighter. I would never let go unless the world ended.

The movie was mediocre; then again, I was never one for sappy romance. Everything was too convenient. The protagonists were really stupid, and I didn't believe in love. It was crap; they were crap, at least I thought so until now.

Mai looked like she was enjoying herself. It was worth the effort to seek out a few female classmates for information. Anything was worth it if it made Mai happy, especially if it made her happy with me.

Halfway through, she leaned against me, and held onto my arm. I stiffened out of nervousness, both at the sudden contact and fear of hurting her. I smell her shampoo lingering in her hair. All my attention now focused on Mai. I was acutely aware of every breath she took. The sweet warm air would gently glide off her tongue and caress the surface of my skin. I couldn't imagine anything more nerve-wrecking.

The movie ended happily. It was nice to see. We lived through enough tragedies. The Carnival dragged us through hell, broke our minds and souls, yet somehow we managed to survive, and we certainly didn't want to be reminded of our suffering.

I slept next to her that night. It was too late to go home, and she insisted that I stay for safety. It wasn't as if I could actually do anything with Mai at that point. She was still injured, and any unnecessary movement could tear her stitches. It was disappointing that I couldn't do much more than attempt conversation, but she let me sleep next to her to make up for it.

Sister was nice enough to give me an extra futon. Mai and I shared our covers. I made sure to be careful when we went to bed. I didn't want to roll over onto her, or accidentally hit her, so gently held her hand and softly kissed it. She giggled and gently brushed her finger down my cheek, as if to kiss me back.

I could remember the moments before slumber overtook me as clear as stars in a cloudless night sky. We were on our sides, facing each other. She smiled at me and said, "This was a wonderful date."

I couldn't help but smirk in return. "I never disappoint."

She giggled at the comment. "I'm so happy you asked me out today."

Hair fell to the front of her face, so I carefully brushed the strands away. "I'm happy you accepted." It was nice to see her smile at me. A calm, comforting look glowed brightly on her face as she closed her eyes. "Mai," I spoke.

"Hmm?" she tiredly mumbled.

"I love you."

Her eyelids shot open, and her mouth drew into a line. It wasn't exactly a frown, but it sure wasn't happiness. "I know," she said dejectedly. Her eyes were full of guilt.

"Ah, umm, I mean…" A little lump grew in my chest. "I'm sorry." God, that was stupid of me. Mai told me from the beginning she didn't know how she felt. I had to go and ruin the mood. Fuck me.

"It's okay. It's my fault." Her eyes avoided meeting mine.

"No, it's not. I shouldn't have said it. You made yourself clear at the hospital." The possibility that she didn't feel the same caused the lump to rise to my throat, and the thought of rejection cut through me like a painfully dull knife.

She grabbed my hand, and placed it on her cheek. "I don't want to hurt you."

"It's a little late," I said with a joking voice. It didn't seem to lighten the mood at all. Exasperated, I told her, "Just tell me when you know. I'll understand, I promise." Preferably, she'd fall in love with me sometime soon, so I wouldn't have to worry about the various possibilities. At least I knew what to expect. It wasn't as if she tried to deceive me from the beginning.

Finally, I saw another genuine smile form on her lips. I loosened her grip on my hand, and lightly ran my finger down the smooth skin of her face. "Go to sleep," I ordered.

--

It wasn't exactly sneaking around if we didn't bother to share our relationship. No one really asked, and it wasn't as if we were trying to hide it. Natsuki noticed right away. She carefully examined me when I showed up to work for the first time in two weeks.

"How's Mai?" she asked in an accusing manner. It was as if she knew I would know. Investigating strangers was one thing, interrogating a friend and employee was another.

"None of your business," I grumbled. "Just pay me." She still owed me money for the orgy house job. Natsuki managed to get the pictures off me the day after the shooting, but I didn't show up for any new jobs the next week, so the money remained on her desk.

She picked up an envelope and casually tossed it to me. I opened it, looked inside and counted the bills. It wasn't that I didn't trust her; the mutt just happened to be rather disorganized.

"There's extra," I said while my mind tallied the exact amount of the discrepancy.

"It's your bonus," said Natsuki. She quickly stuffed her mouth with a piece of sushi in an obvious effort to mask whatever she had to say next.

"Bullshit."

"Just take it." She growled. There was something off. The way she moved and avoided eye contact made it feel like she was hiding something.

I eyed her suspiciously. "What's wrong?"

She avoided answering by eating some more. I managed to grab her bowl and slam it on to the table. "Shit," she yelled, lamenting over the lost food.

"Answer my question." I demanded.

"I shouldn't have sent you on that case. It's my fault Mai was shot." Her shoulders slumped, and a look of guilt passed through her eyes. It was a little surprising she managed to make the connection to Hanai so quickly, but it was Mai we were talking about. Natsuki probably looked into the shooter; I know I would have.

"No, I screwed up." I threw the cash at her. "I don't need your guilt money."

Natsuki picked up the bills and tried to hand them to me. "It was my fuck up. I should have told you why I wanted to find Hanai in the first place. You would have been more careful."

I shoved her hand back. "No I wouldn't have."

We glared at each other for a little. Her eye twitched in anger. "Fine, I'll give it to Mai!" She finally relented. "She could use it anyway."

While it was true, I didn't want Mai to know anything about how I knew the Hanai family. "What would you tell her? The kid was one of your hits."

She paused in thought. "She knows what I do for a living."

"Doesn't mean she wants details," I replied.

Natsuki lifted her chopstick and pointed at me in an accusing manner. "Then I'll tell her you fucked up on a job, and it's from you."

I grabbed the offending stick and pulled it out of her hand. "Screw you Kuga. That doesn't make any sense." Too late, I realized the chopstick was covered in saliva. Now I had to wash my hands.

"Well, lie then. I don't care. Just take the cash." She shoved the bills in my direction only to have me roughly slap it to the side.

We argued for the next five minutes until the phone rang. Natsuki dropped everything and picked it up. Her voice changed in an instant. Suddenly she sounded like a professional. It always amazed me how people could change their demeanor so quickly. "Kuga here, please state your business."

I didn't hear anything coming from the other line. Instead, I decided it was time to go, and left her to deal with whoever was calling by herself. Before I was able to open the door, Natsuki yelled at me in the middle of her call.

There was a twinkle in her eye that I couldn't quite place, but was sure that whatever made her suddenly happy was going to upset me. "Mai says to study and don't forget to feed Mikoto."

"Why didn't she call me on my cell?" I grumbled. Soon, the device was fished out of my pocket. It was dead. Damn batteries were crappy. "Shit," I mumbled.

"Mai also says take the money." Fuck. She smirked in victory. I hated seeing that smug look on her face; it made me want to punch it. Natsuki didn't stop there. "She says that you deserve a bonus for doing such a good job."

"What the hell did you tell her?" I stormed up to the P.I.'s desk. She ignored me for a little as she kindly bid goodbye to my girlfriend over the telephone. I gritted my teeth in anger.

"Just that my client was so satisfied that he paid extra, and you got half." God that sick smile made me want to puke. The phone clicked as it returned to its resting place.

"I fucking hate you Kuga."

"You can thank me later." She waved as I slammed the door behind me. God damn it; that woman knew how to piss me off. I hope she choked on her rice.

--

The teachers were on my case about completing courses. Repeating a grade didn't seem like such a bad idea. Fumi guaranteed that the Fuuka Scholarship would remain in place as long as I was a student. Right now I didn't have enough for a security deposit let alone rent for even the crappiest places around town.

I sighed, the end of high school was coming up soon, and I had no plans. Maybe I could crash at someone's place. The more I thought about it, the more depressed I became. There wasn't anyone who'd let me live with them.

It would be great to live with Mai, but without knowing her true feelings things could turn out badly. I didn't want to risk pushing her away again, even if I could only be with her as a friend.

I worked hard on my extra homework. There was little else to do. Natsuki didn't give me another job, though I wished she did. It meant I had to go back the next day. Hopefully, I'd piss her off instead of the other way around. Her reactions were cute in many ways, but were mainly satisfying in the fact that I was able to excite an involuntary emotional response. Revenge was sweet.

Asahara resumed her old habit of following me around. It was far less pleasant than I expected it to be, but I tolerated it as a sort of apology. She deserved something for what I did, and this was my way to make it up to her. However, she always had the tendency to take things too far.

Three days after my date with Mai, Asahara went out of her way to invite me to dinner with her mother. Now I didn't understand why she would do such a thing since I made sure she knew I was completely not interested and that I wasn't friendly person. She reasoned to me that she had no friends in her school, and her mother wished to know why she spent so many late nights out on the town. I felt it was very important to draw the line of our one-sided friendship and completely rejected her request.

She still begged me. "My mom saw me following you around last night and wanted to know who you were. I told her you were a friend, and she asked me to invite you to dinner."

"I know for a fact that your mom is rarely home for dinner." I glared at the girl, daring her to deny it.

"But, she's never met any of my friends before, so she's interested. Please Nao, I need this. She wants to know I'm normal." Her hands clasped together as her eyes became watery. The puppy dog stare did not work on me, since I long became immune to her attempts at persuading me into doing things together.

"You aren't normal." I brushed her off with a wave of my hand. I didn't have time to visit the girl's mother. Plus, what would I say? "_Hello I'm the girl who teaches your daughter how to beat the crap out of people and spy on their personal lives, nice to meet you_." Surely that would turn out well. If she didn't kick me out right away, it would be because she planned on trapping me there, so cops could swing by to arrest me for child endangerment.

"She doesn't know that." Asahara took out a cell phone from her pocket and began dialing the numbers.

Mai's name glowed on the screen as the phone began ringing. In anger I snatched it away from her and hung up before anyone answered. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Mai told me to call her if you were being difficult." Why did everyone use Mai against me? It's not like I had to listen to her.

"You're not saying a word." I warned while pointing my finger at her angrily.

She shyly withdrew from me in guilt. Her phone rang. I looked down at the number. Fuck, it was Mai. I answered without a second thought.

"Hello, Asahara-san, are you alright?" Her voice was panicked. "Nao didn't doing anything did she?"

I mentally frowned. "Why do you sound like I murdered her?"

"Nao, is that you?" An undertone of concern and curiosity laced her voice. "What's going on?"

"Nothing important," I mumbled. "Why did you give Asahara your number?"

"Because I knew you would pick on her." She sounded so sure of the fact.

"I'm not that bad." I'm not nice, but not a bully either.

"Yes you are. It's endearing, but troublesome." She sighed, "Give the phone back to Asahara-san please." The demand was soft, and a little exasperated, but commanding. I complied, very unwillingly. Hopefully, Mai wouldn't agree to Asahara's stupid dinner plans.

They spoke on the phone for five minutes. I wasn't sure what they were talking about, since I could only catch half the conversation. From what I could gather, Mai indicated she would try to convince me to meet Asahara's mother. Somehow it seemed unfair. There was no reason for me to suffer with someone I didn't like that much. The girl handed the phone back to me, so I held it against my ear.

"Please, will you go meet with Asahara-san's mother?" Mai begged.

"No," I firmly told her. It was true that Mai could get me to do things that I would normally turn down, but it didn't mean she managed to control every aspect of my life. I had no intention of letting myself be subject to the whims of my girlfriend, even if I did love her.

"Then I'm calling in a favor." She seemed so sure that I would listen. I wondered why.

"Not a chance." I told her again.

"You owe me for that cut, the night in the motel and helping you take care of Osagawa-san. That's three favors you owe me." Mai had the memory of an elephant.

God damn it, I could feel her smile on the other end of the line. I knew I had to listen if she decided to use that against me. I had promised her to do anything to repay her for my mistakes, but was hoping she'd ask for something I didn't absolutely dread. "You shouldn't waste your freebies on Asahara." Hopefully, she really took in my advice.

"Nonsense, she desperately wants to be your friend, and I think you need more friends." I both loved and hated Mai for her absolute need to help people, even when everything was fine.

"I have you and Natsuki." Two people had to mean something right?

"I'm your girlfriend and Natsuki is your employer. We don't count." Damn it.

"Fine, but we're still going on that date on Saturday right?" My voice was a bit too enthusiastic. I hoped Asahara didn't hear it.

"Well, actually, Asahara-san told me that's the day of the dinner." Alright, that was it. I was going to kill that damn fourteen-year-old and dump her body into some ditch.

"There is no way I'm skipping out on the date." For the entire week she had been stuck in that house. As much as I wanted to visit her, Mai insisted that I stay home to study for class. She even went so far as to threaten me with a break up. While I wasn't sure how serious her threat was, I didn't really want to take the risk.

"You have to." She told me.

"Are you that desperate to get rid of me?" I asked. She was asking me to give up our date in exchange for a dinner with my former stalker and her mother. What was I supposed to think?

"That's not true at all and you know it." Mai responded. I wondered why she was so insistent that I familiarize myself with Asahara's family where she knew I did not like the girl in the least. While I did not specifically hate Asahara, it certainly did not mean I felt any type of fondness for her.

"Really," I asked her. "It seems like it."

"Nao, you're going to this dinner." God damn it; she was controlling.

It drove me nuts, and if I weren't so pissed off, I'd think her dominant attitude was kind of hot. "I'm not giving up our date." I insisted.

The line was silent for a minute. I could almost hear the gears of her mind turning. What was she thinking? "Okay, I'll make you a deal. We'll both go to the dinner."

"What? No! Not a chance." I said a couple of other negative things before she calmly tried to reassure me of her plan.

"We won't have to cancel our date, and I can meet Asahara-san's mother too." Since when did the brat matter?

"No." I meant it to be final, but we both knew that I was losing this fight.

"Yes," she insisted, "and please tell Asahara-san of the new plan."

"Fine, I'll let Asahara know." Mai knew how to negotiate, and I felt like a sucker for giving in to her wishes. Compromising sucks.

The line went dead as she ended the call.

I looked over to my protégé. "It looks like Mai and I are having our date at you house this weekend." My angry frown scared her enough to cause her to step back a little.

"I'm sorry sempai." She said.

"Whatever, just make sure your mom knows."

--

I picked her up from Yukariko's place that weekend. The beginning of our so-called date was unpleasant. I was still a little pissed off at her for insisting that we see Asahara. This was a date. We were supposed to be together, alone. As I mentally grumbled my many grievances toward Mai, we ended up in a sort of awkward silence until we got to the train station. Finally, she became annoyed at my constant angry glances and broke the silence.

She turned to me and said, "Stop acting like a child."

"Then how am I supposed to act? You know I don't want to go." It wasn't as if I was going to put up a fake smile and pretend to like it. I'm not that type of person.

"I don't want to either, but I'm not being stubborn about it." She sighed.

"Then why go at all?" This made no sense. She was forcing both of us to go to some dinner neither of us wanted to attend.

Mai raised her hand over her eyes in frustration. "Asahara-san thinks of you like an older sister. It's polite."

"Who cares? I still don't want to go." We boarded the train with little trouble. Mai's wheel chair wasn't the most maneuverable, but the other passengers gave way with little trouble.

She sighed again. "Think of it this way. The dinner is a sort of test run, and I want to see how you perform."

"What are you talking about?" I grumbled. My paranoia was creeping back up on me. Mai's tentative status as my girlfriend was also a test. Was this dinner some plot to see if I was compatible with her. It was moronic. What did Asahara have to do with Mai and me?

"Well, this will probably reflect how well you'll handle dinner with Takumi and Akira." Oh Mai, you're so devious, except that was all crap.

Still, it made me feel better. "How long did it take you to come up with that reasoning?"

"Three days, you like?" She smiled at me, and I returned the gesture.

"You have too much time on your hands." I gave her a quick peck on the forehead. Was it wrong that I found her cute that way?

She giggled at my gesture of affection. "All the more time I have to think about you."

Needless to say, my face probably looked like a tomato for the rest of the trip. I never thought she could be so cruel.

--

Asahara greeted us at the door with a faint blush shy embarrassment. She seemed extremely nervous at the fact that we were going to view her home.

"Mom they're here," she shouted.

Her mother popped around behind a corner in a dirty apron and introduced herself. "Hi," she warmly greeted, "Maeda Suzu. You can call me obaa-san." It wasn't unexpected for her to use her maiden name. Her ex-husband was a jackass.

Asahara introduced Mai and me. I gave a fake smile and nodded. Pretending in front of proper adults was always a hassle. Hopefully my pleasant mask would last through the evening. Maybe I could acquire a small reward from Mai afterward.

Mai slowly got up from her wheelchair and moved to return Maeda's warm greeting. I could tell that she felt a little pain from the movement, but that fact that she could do so was a vast improvement. Calmly, I let her hold onto my arm as she struggled to balance.

"Oh my," said Maeda, "Makino told me what happened. I do hope you feel better now." She looked slightly concerned for Mai's safety, and seemed a little anxious at the fact that she was now walking over the threshold. She even panicked a little when Mai walked over a small step on the ground. I wondered if she was worried about Mai or about liability if she got hurt.

"I do," Mai responded happily. "We're sorry for intruding."

I wasn't sorry. I still didn't want to be there.

"Don't be ridiculous," Maeda said, "You're my invited guests. You're not intruding at all."

Oh God, they were getting into small talk. I had to maneuver this further into the apartment, or we'd never make it out of the entrance way. "Let's go inside and get to know each other properly." I gestured at the dining table behind the kitchen. Everyone enthusiastically agreed.

It successfully stopped the conversation from moving onto anything unnecessarily mundane. When the flow stopped, Maeda remembered that she needed to finish cooking. Mai offered to help, but was politely turned down. Even if she was slightly disappointed at being out of the kitchen for so long, I was glad that she did not get a chance today. There were so many potential ways she could harm herself since she was not her best.

The three of us ended up sitting at the dining table in awkward silence. I had nothing to say; Mai was tired from the trip and Asahara deeply pondering something.

When Maeda finally announced everything was done. Asahara immediately went to help her mother. Mai managed to nag me into helping a couple minutes later. I couldn't say that this was the most pleasant family dinner.

"So, how long have you known my daughter?" She wanted to know her daughter's friends. I could understand that, but I really wished she wouldn't try to hide her curiosity behind small talk.'

I pondered for a moment. "Five months?" Really I had no clue and made up the number off the top of my head. There was a whole month she was unable to approach me, and there was also a short time I didn't know she existed.

"Oh, and you Tokiha-san?" Maeda kindly turned towards Mai.

I was shocked. Did she think that Mai was friends with Asahara?

"About a month and a half." She casually replied. Asahara was the one that caused me to realize my feelings. I wasn't sure if should thank the girl or hate her for it.

"Really?" She sounded skeptical. "Did you meet her through Yuuki-san?"

"Yes," Asahara interjected, clearly indicating she didn't like where the conversation was going. I wasn't quite sure what was going on, but ignored my feelings.

"What do you do for a living?" Maeda looked at Mai curiously. We were just having small talk now. There was nothing sinister or serious underlying her words. I wondered why she cared how we met her daughter over what Mai's job was.

"I used to waitress at a café, but they had to let me go after the incident." Mai smiled sadly. Damn it. She probably needed the money from that job. I wished I could do more to help her.

"That's such a shame. I'm sure you'll manage to find another job once you've recovered." Maeda chirped happily, and then turned to me. "Makino tells me you have a job too."

"Yeah," I said, "so?"

"What do you do?" I glanced over at Asahara; she clearly stiffened at the question. Then I looked back at her mother. Why didn't she tell her mother what I did? Maybe telling the truth wasn't such a good idea, but what else should I do. I decided not to lie. If anything, Maeda's response could turn out interesting. "I work part time as a private investigator."

"Oh really?" Maeda seemed a little unnerved. "When do you find time to do that when you're out with my daughter?" Then she visibly paled. "Have you been taking her with you?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, she wants to learn."

"I'm sorry?" Maeda turned toward Asahara. "You never told me you wanted to be a private investigator."

I laughed. "No, she just wants to know how to take care of herself." I purposely left out the stalker portion of the story.

The older woman faced me. "Why?"

"She feels weak?" I guessed, "I don't know."

"Is that true honey?" Concerned, Maeda moved her seat closer to her daughter, and leaned in close to her face in order to draw out the truth.

Shyly, Asahara twiddled her fingers and nodded. "Mom, I really respect Yuuki-sempai, because she's strong, and she's taught me a lot of things."

Okay, that was a nice compliment. I looked over to an oddly quiet Mai. She was smiling widely at the family interaction, and at me. "I'm proud of you," she whispered into my ear. It made me feel nice.

Maeda finally leaned back. "Are you learning anything from Mai-san as well?" She sounded a little worried. I imagined it was concern over the content of what we were potentially teaching her daughter.

"Umm, no," said Asahara. She was genuinely confused by her mother's question. Maybe the old bag thought Mai's waitressing job involved more risqué duties.

"Then why do you know her?" Did everything need a purpose for this woman?

I was a little annoyed. "She's my girlfriend." I said defensively. It didn't matter if she couldn't accept that. As far as I was concerned, people who had issues with us could just suck it.

"Oh my," said Maeda. She drew back and pursed her lips in surprise and discomfort, but not disgust. It was a good sign. Asahara was panicking; it was obvious she never discussed this with her mother before.

Mai elbowed my ribs. Well, I did put the woman under the spotlight. On the plus side, she didn't kick us out right away, but this also meant we couldn't really leave either.

The old lady recovered from her shock quickly. "I see. It's nice that you're not embarrassed about it." Well, that was cool, I guess. "Young love is so sweet."

God damn it; she just had to mention that word. I looked over to Mai again, who now looked pale and guilt ridden. I hated love; it was too complicated.

--

End Notes: This chapter drags a little; I'm sorry. It serves as an interim until I introduce a new arc of how Mai falls in love with Nao.

Coming Soon: Jealousy plagues our characters. Past loves and new suitors show up to test our couple's faithfulness. Can a relationship with one-sided love succeed? We'll find out next time on "You have an Addiction".


	15. Chapter 15

_My apologies for the long wait. More than once, I found myself with a brilliant idea only to lose it as quickly as it came. In addition, the advent of Dragon Age Origins, Modern Warfare 2, Left 4 Dead 2 and my shiny new graphics card has left me distracted for many weeks. Still, you are welcome to message me about befriending my steam account. Then all of you would see how much I absolutely suck at computer games despite my dedication. _

You have an addiction ch. 15

The air in the room felt heavy for the rest of the evening. I didn't care to remember what we talked about afterwards. Only the awkward aura of dissatisfaction and guilt weighed over my head. I couldn't wait to leave that home, and swore never to go back.

Mai barely managed to keep up a pleasant façade for Asahara's mother. I'm sure the woman suspected something was off, but didn't know us well enough to be sure. Her daughter, however, immediately picked up the change in mood.

The next day was generally displeasing. My date was ruined, so I was determined to make up for it. However, when I showed up looking for Mai, she was talking to someone else.

I never thought of myself as a possessive person. It wasn't as if I wanted to keep Mai to myself and protect her from the rest of the world. I trusted her, probably more than I would have Mama. However, the presence of Tate Yuuichi irked me to no end. He wasn't a threat. He had his chance and let it go willingly. As far as I knew, neither felt any need to rekindle their former relationship.

Still, I didn't like that he was in there talking to her. Maybe it was their history together, or the high probability that Mai did really prefer men. I felt threatened.

I kept telling myself that Mai was mine, and that I didn't need to worry. Yet the more I thought about it, the angrier I felt. Suddenly, Tate became an unacceptable existence in my mind.

I strode into her room and plopped myself next to her. He simply looked surprised at my presence, and she glared at me with an annoyed face. I knew I had interrupted something and didn't care if it was particularly important. If they were in that room together, I had to be in the room with them.

Both of them got over their initial surprise and continued while awkwardly ignoring my presence.

"Anyway, I was hoping to find low activity job for the next few months."

"I see, then you-" Tate stared at me for a second. "You want me to arrange a meeting with Takeda-san?"

"Yes, I was hoping he may have some openings in secretarial positions."

I kept silent, mostly because I would embarrass myself further by acting how I felt. "Sure," he said. "I'll have him call you." Biting his lip, he asked, "You still use the same number?"

"Yes." She smiled and hugged him before he left.

As soon as he was gone, she turned to me and said, "That was rude Nao."

I feigned ignorance. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't be an ass." She scolded.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me." I really did feel slightly guilty; it wasn't as if he went out of his way to provoke me. "It just bothers me when he's near you." More importantly, it bothered me that their history would take her away.

Her expression softened. She leaned towards me and kissed me on the forehead. What was I, five? "I didn't know you could be so cute."

"I'm not cute." Sexy maybe, seductive and definitely deadly, but I was not cute.

--

The school day is far too long. Though I was seriously contemplating repeating a year, the idea of staying in the dull space of Fuuka Gakuen spurred me to graduate on time. Sure, it meant extra hours in the library to make up absent days, but graduating would free up the weekday for a paying job. Mai seemed happy that I decided to put extra time into my education. There wasn't a chance in hell that I would get into any college, but she still seemed to like the idea. I don't know, maybe she had a few long-term plans that I wasn't aware of.

The funniest thing happened one day after my usual make-up study session in the library. A love letter was stuffed into my shoe locker along with a box of chocolates. For a moment, I feared Asahara had restarted her pursuit; only see a boy's name signed at the bottom. I quickly glanced over the small note conveying this stranger's feelings and laughed at its absurdity. In less than a minute, the letter was in the trashcan and the candy in my hand. It was expensive. Why waste it?

Unfortunately, eating the chocolate seemed to backfire on me. The next day, a lanky person with large, thick-rimmed glasses came up to me and asked, "Did you enjoy the chocolates Yuuki-san?" It had to be Sawatori, the writer of the love note.

He was definitely strange. In his left hand was a manga. A pen was clipped to his shirt collar. If I had money to spare, I would wager that he had many cartoon posters on his walls. Overall, he seemed to fit the stereotypical otaku.

Inwardly, I groaned. "I'm not interested, go away."

He didn't, which was very annoying. Instead, the jerk sat down across from me and opened his mouth. "You're kind of famous at school," he sputtered. "Everyone says you're a mean slut who likes to use men."

"Then fuck off asshole; you don't have anything I want." For all I cared, they could have said I was a space alien with a fetish for cucumbers.

"Look, I know you're not like that." Great, he was an idealist. "I know you go around taking out perverts. It's great, and you look after that girl too."

"You've been watching me?" I narrowed my eyes. This person was dangerous.

Shocked, Sawatori raised his hand in denial. "Oh no," he said, "not at all! That's what a stalker would do." Noticing my increasingly angry stare, he nervously grabbed at his shirt collar and cleared his throat. "I-" he said, averting his eyes. "Umm," he stuttered again, "I hired a private investigator."

"That's still stalking," I growled at him. More importantly, Natsuki ratted me out for money. I was going to kill her. "Which P.I. did you hire?" A sick smile crossed my face; he gulped.

"Umm, a Higa-san I think, I don't know his given name." I let go a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

On the plus side, Natsuki didn't screw me, but now I had to talk to this Higa character, which was going to be unpleasant. He wasn't a good P.I. if he didn't know about my part time job, my girlfriend and my hatred for men.

"I see," I said. "Stop stalking me, and get lost." I went back to studying for my upcoming exam, and did my best to block out anything outside my personal space.

He mumbled something before he left. I didn't really catch it, so replied, "Yeah whatever." I brushed him off. "Just don't bother me."

Soon enough, the sky darkened, and I had to work. Natsuki needed my report on a woman who liked to pick pockets at bars. The local shop owners across town asked Natsuki to find the culprit. It was a simple job. They only needed some pictures of the person in action. I scouted around town for some easy marks and followed them into bars. A sexy woman showed up, flirted and robbed them blind.

I gave her the memory disk with the photos. She gave me forty thousand in cash. "Kind of high for a one night job, isn't it?" I looked at the money. No way was I giving it back, but my curiosity could be satisfied without losing it.

"I know, but they needed this job done. The police weren't going to help. There was no reason for me to give them a low price." She grinned.

My usual payments was about half. One could say it was commission based. This high pay off was a welcome change from the usual four digit wages. "Fair enough," I replied. "Oh yeah, you should watch out." I watched her quirk an eyebrow as if asking me to explain. "Apparently there's another P.I. in town called Higa."

She frowned. "I know about him."A hint of sadness laced her voice. She sighed and said, "Used to be a cop, till they accused him of corruption."

I looked at her skeptically. "So he's dirty?"

Natsuki shook her head. "No," she stated. For some reason, she sounded sure of it.

I wanted to ask her for more details, but the look on her face told me that it was something she did not want to discuss, so I left it alone. "Anyway, do you know where his office is?" I asked.

"Yeah," she confirmed, "why?"

"I need to talk to him."

Her eyes scanned my face. Skeptically, she paused and tried to peer into my brain for a reason. It didn't work, but she relented anyway and wrote down an address. "Here," she said, handing me the paper. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Right," I said before walking out the door.

Asahara was outside the office doing secretarial things. Natsuki offered her a job once I started spending quality time with my textbooks. She had nothing better to do, so seized the opportunity to learn from a licensed professional.

"Hey, I'm off to a job, wanna come?" I offered the girl. She was much less annoying now, and I needed someone to carry some equipment.

Immediately the girl perked up. "Of course!" she shouted excitedly.

We strolled around the downtown park with a small wagon in tow. If everything went well, a small puppy would be on the wagon by ten. Then again, animals were difficult to predict, and more than once, I completely lost a pet or mixed it up with another one. Those wasted hours of searching always got on my nerves.

Out of boredom, I decided to chat. "Why are you working with us anyway? It's not like you have to be a P.I."

My protégé shrugged. "It's not like I have anything else to look forward to," she said. "I'm not rich or smart."

"So what then, you're joining the rebellious high school girls club?"

She laughed at my joke. "Maybe," she said.

I suspended our search. "Look, Kuga and I didn't come to this point by choice." Looking at her seriously, I took a deep breath. "Some horrible things happened, and we ended up this way. If you have a chance, go for it."

She looked shocked. Shadows of tears appeared in her eyes. "Thanks senpai, but I really do enjoy being with you and Kuga-san – Mai san too!" A moment of silence passed. "But I promise to 'go for it' if anything appears."

That's what I wanted to hear. Hey, I was only seventeen. It wasn't too late for me either. The future was full of possibilities, though at this point, everything would be more difficult.

Mai called me at nine-o-clock. It pained me that I couldn't see her on weekdays for now. More than ever, I wished she could move back into the dorm room.

She asked me about my day. I told her a few details, even the bit about Sawatori. She found it sad that I could mock him so easily.

"Feelings are fragile," she told me, and chastised me for eating his gift fully knowing that I would reject him.

"I didn't eat it all." I said. "I saved half it for you." My words caused a sigh on the other end. Chuckling, I told her, "It's fine. I told him I wasn't interested right away." Never did I think that he believed differently.

We said our goodbyes soon afterward. Mai made sure that I wouldn't lead on the poor man. I was a little confused. The whole time there was a hint of uncertainty in her voice. It couldn't be that she believed I was interested in him. The guy was a freak, and his interest in me was probably a very unusual coincidence.

Soon enough it was ten-o-clock. The night turned out to be a bust. Fucking dog wasn't in the park. Asahara left as soon as we dropped the equipment off at the office. There was nothing else to do. The mutt was off somewhere doing God knows what, and I didn't really feel like working on another job. I had homework anyway.

However, before anything could be done, I had to go check out Higa's office. If I was going to talk to him, I had to know what he was like. What was this former good cop doing for a living? Spying on high school girls seemed to be a huge step down from being a respected detective.

His office was dark, and the lock was easy to pick. There was no one there, as expected. The guy was organized. The files on his desk were stacked neatly in one place. His pens lay parallel to each other next to a notebook pad, which was centered on the desk. There were no pictures though. Absolutely nothing personal was placed in the room. Everything seemed to be work related and in alphabetical order.

Quickly I picked up some files from his desk. There were a few about missing pets, people, and property. Other files requested information about specific people or areas. I found my file in the filing cabinet labeled, "completed". Apparently, he followed me one weekday for about two hours after I left the school, and had a police report from my hime days. No wonder there was so little information. It was good news; I didn't have to talk to him after all.

Carefully, I placed everything back to their original state. He didn't ever need to know I was here. A flashlight glowed through the office front door. I was startled, and accidentally knocked over the files on the desk. Damn, and I spent so much time getting them into that pile.

The light paused outside the door. Quickly someone unlocked the door and stepped through. "Who's there?" asked the security guard. He sounded a little frightened.

My heart pounded like no tomorrow. I could probably take out the stupid rent-a-cop easily without being recognized, but didn't want to get in a scuffle if it wasn't necessary. The beam roamed through waiting room as I heard the man's footsteps echo off the walls. They sounded unusually heavy.

After a minute, and a quick scan of the area, he left the office. "Must be my imagination," he muttered before locking the door again.

I let out a sigh of relief. Narrow escapes were bad for my health. Of course, not escaping at all was worse. Thinking about it, I definitely preferred the lesser hazard.

Slowly, I started reorganizing the new mess. One by one, I looked through the file tabs to find the right place for each file. Fucking alphabet, organization sucked.

Hello, what was this?

One of the files had Kuga's picture. What did he want with the mutt? "Aika?" was written on the back. I was concerned. Bad news Kuga, someone has been looking into you. I had to find out which folder the picture was stored. God damn it, this was going to be a long night. It was strange that he didn't have info on me if he was looking into Kuga.

Three hours passed with no result. I finally decided to just take the picture and put everything back. Kuga could find out about it tomorrow. Yet a voice in the back of my mind kept telling me to keep silent. If I told the mutt, would she kill him? Did I need to tell her? She knew how to take care of herself without my help. I knew I owed her, but it didn't mean I had to give her someone for target practice. Why was this weighing on my conscience at all? I didn't know Higa, and Kuga was my friend. I knew her. She wouldn't do anything unless she was forced.

I walked home completely exhausted. Homework had to wait another day. It wouldn't affect my grade too badly anyway. Passing was enough. I wanted to call Mai before I slept, but didn't want to wake her. She was usually asleep at this hour. I hoped she was doing well at her new workplace. Apparently, _Masashi-kun's_ father was a respectable salary man in a management position. It was great that she could find work again, but had to wake up early and go home late. Our schedules made dating on weekdays impossible.

I wanted to hear her voice before sleeping. Guess I had to settle for Mikoto's strange form of breathing.

--

The next day was like the last. Classes were boring. People chatted on about meaningless things, and most of them avoided talking to me out of fear. Well, I preferred that they leave me alone. Teenagers were a pain in the ass.

I went to the library to finish whatever work I had left over. If everything went according to plan, then I'd be out of that hellhole forever by the end of next week. Much to my chagrin, Sawatori came back for a visit.

"I'm glad you came back Yuuki-san." He nervously smiled and sat down next to me. Did it look like I left an open invitation? "If you want I can help you with your English."

"No, go away."

"Ah, well then, umm" he said. The stupid, nervous wreck took out two tickets from his pocket. "I just happen to have these, and I was wondering if you would like to go?"

I looked at the tickets. Mai loved karaoke; it wouldn't be such a bad idea to take her. We have never gone together. "That's a great idea," I muttered to myself.

"So you will go?" he asked.

I honestly felt sorry for him at this point. "Not with you."

He slumped his head in disappointment, but quickly perked up again. "I know, why don't you invite your friends, and I can invite mine! We can all have fun together. It'll be my treat." He continued to ramble for some time, so I tuned him out.

When the white noise died out I responded, "Not interested."

He became sad, and even looked dejected. "Yuuki-san, I really want us to be friends."

I burst out laughing. "Friends? What in God's name for?" I shouted. Everyone in the room was staring at us now. Whispers began to echo off the walls.

Yet he seemed resolute about his statement. "Because I admire you," he said bluntly. "You do what you want, and you don't care what anyone thinks. You're a good person, but don't show it. Everyone here is satisfied with the rumors, but I want to know you for real!"

The room fell silent. I was shocked. Damn it, he was genuinely nice. I didn't know how to deal with good people, and I knew getting rid of him would be hard. "Look, I will never be interested in you. Just give up."

"It's alright Yuuki-san. I still want to be friends." Strange thoughts must be crossing his mind. I clearly rejected him, and there was no way he was only interested in friendship. What did he want from me?

"I already have a lover." Take that and go away.

"Oh really?" He seemed disappointed, yet he put on a brave face. "You can bring him along."

I wasn't quite sure what he was planning, but free tickets to a karaoke bar didn't see all that bad. The boy genuinely wanted to know me, and didn't care that I already had Mai. Maybe he really just wanted to hang out with someone like me. It was strange, but I wasn't one to judge others on weird predilections.

"She does love karaoke." I muttered to myself. Mai was always bothering me to make more friends. Maybe this won't be such a bad idea. Asahara would probably want to come. Mikoto, and Natsuki would join if they could spare the time. The old Hime gang tended to enjoy Kareoke bars, probably because of the drinks.

"Is that a yes?" Sawatori nervously twisted the bottom of his uniform jacket.

"Uhh, sure," I confirmed. What harm could it do? Mai would at least stop nagging me about being nice to people. "Is it okay if I bring a few friends too? We don't get to hang out often." Accepting his offer counted as a nice thing, right?

"Yes, that's great!" he nearly announced to the room.

--

The incident began a series of rumors around the school. I didn't usually pay attention to their useless chattering, but sometimes I overheard things. Most of the time, it wasn't particularly important. "Did you know Yuuki-san likes to hang out by that street where prostitutes stay?" "I heard Yuuki-san is the daughter of a Yakuza boss." My personal favorite was, "Yuuki-san runs the meanest street gang in all of Tokyo."

However, the latest ones were most annoying. "Sawatori-kun asked Yuuki-san out on a date. She agreed only because he's rich." Stupid assholes couldn't even get their facts straight. I didn't agree to a date. Fucking students were retarded. Also, I had no idea he came from money, not that it mattered.

I kicked a nearby light pole on my way to work. Today, I had the dreaded duty to tell Natsuki exactly what I found inside Higa's office. She was definitely going to be unhappy. Hell, I was already pissed. Screw the old bastard. At this point, I felt like killing something, or someone, didn't matter if it was the damned former cop.

Natsuki shouted at me when I slammed the door as I entered the office. It wasn't my fault the doors in the building sucked.

I threw the picture at her. "Higa's noticed something he shouldn't have."

Asahara chose that very moment to walk in with a cup of coffee. She glanced at the back of picture. "Who's Aika?"

Natsuki and I froze at her innocent question. Should we tell her? She seemed trustworthy enough; then again, she was an innocent bystander. It'd be better if we left her out of the loop.

"Some woman who went missing," I lied.

Natsuki glared at me. What the hell? I just saved her ass.

"Oh? Did you find her?" God damn it, just drop off the coffee and leave.

"Yeah," I said, and avoided eye contact. "She ran away to America with a lover."

"That's really silly." She laughed.

"You'd be surprised what people would do for love." I chuckled, but felt a pain in my heart when my thoughts turned to Mai. My words rung truer than I liked.

Natsuki put on a grim frown and had a distant look in her eye. Guess they resonated with her too.

As soon as the girl was out of the office, we continued our conversation. "So, do you know who hired him to find Aika?"

My midnight-haired friend sighed. "It's probably not a case."

I raised my eyebrow in curiosity. "Right, then he's out to get you himself?"

"I know who framed him for the corruption charges." She got up and poured herself a stiff drink.

Just great, I was now stuck in some lame detective movie, where the former cop wants revenge, and I was siding with the guilt-ridden assassin. Shoot me now. "So, what are you going to do?"

"What else can I do?" She gulped down the strong liquor in one mouthful as if it was foul tasting medication. Scowling she continued, "Tell him what I know."

I frowned. "That seems risky."

"Not at all," she said, "I'll have nothing to tell him. Just because I know a few things doesn't mean I know everything." She shrugged, suggesting that what she knew and what was true were two completely different things. "My clients know to give me only what's necessary. They say ignorance is bliss."

"I thought you said you knew who framed him."

She poured another drink. "Yes, but that doesn't stop me from conveniently forgetting the most important details." A bitter smile creased her youthful face. Five years ago, she would have reluctantly helped Higa, but now - it was hard to see how far she'd fallen from grace. Then again, did any of us make it out of the Carnival with our humanity intact?

"You are evil. You know that?" I said jokingly, hoping to draw her out of this depressive mood.

"Which is why we get along so well." A relaxed grin replaced her previous expression.

--

_End Notes - Just so you are aware, the editing is underway, but has yet to be posted. Don't forget to click that shiny review button down there._

_Any requests or suggestions?_


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: I once again apologies for the extreme tardiness of this chapter. I'd say more, but my time online is limited. Currently, I'm in Beijing, and have limited internet access on weekends. Edited chapters for 1-5 are up. Reviews would be appreciated. For more info, please visit my bio. Review replies may be late due to internet access issues. I will do my best. _

I left Natsuki's office with a smile. The woman was sly; I had to give her that. With our past differences, it was amazing how we ended up as friends. For once, everything was falling into place.

Before I left, I managed to obtain her pledge to attend the supposed Karaoke party. It helped that Midori, as far as we knew, was not in Japan. Natsuki needed the break anyway. All the depressing assignments she had for her side business was eating away at her soul. Any reprieve would help out. At least the promise of the slightest bit of normalcy was nice.

Asahara was invited as well. I didn't see the harm in bringing her along. Plus, Natsuki and I would keep her out of too much trouble. Hopefully the social gathering would do well to show her what ordinary high school life was supposed to be like. She would be entering that new stage of her life soon enough and I would be leaving.

Soon enough, the prearranged karaoke night came. I was a little excited to spend just a little more time with Mai as well as show her off to a group of people. I mean, the idea of telling everyone that she was mine was more than a little hot.

Mai was walking energetically tonight. Recovery went well. She was lucky. I was lucky. The bastard was an amazing shot. The bullet went straight through without hitting any organs. Of course, he didn't intentionally do it, but an excellent result under the circumstances.

I held her hand tightly in mine as we walked into the booth. Right off the bat, I saw a group of teenage boys huddling around a magazine. Sighing, I snatched away the object, effectively announcing my presence.

"What's this?" I took a good luck at the opened page, half expecting porn. The first thing that caught my attention was very a graphical depiction of a sound effect. The next panel showed some cartoon character falling in a very improbable position. "Ah," I blandly read aloud, "the culprit must be..." Okay, so that was why they crowded around the magazine like a bunch of maniacs.

Sawatori hastily snatched the object away. In fact, he looked quite red, either from excitement or from embarrassment. Though, I couldn't imagine why he was embarrassed. It wasn't as if they were caught reading porn by a bunch of girls, though now that I thought about it. Was it more embarrassing to be caught with porn or manga?

Recomposing himself, he spoke. "Well," he said, and fidgeted a little. "Good evening Yuuki-san." He politely bowed towards us, while not so subtly passing the magazine to one of his friends behind his back.

"Okay?" I said, then turned to the others. "I'm Yuuki." I gestured to Mai, while tightly holding her hand. "This is Tokiha Mai. She's mine you got that?" I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to make my point. Then pointing behind me, I said, "Oh, and everyone else." There was a strange look on Sawatori's face that I couldn't quite place. It wasn't malice or anything, so I shrugged it off. The boys behind him giggled at my announcement. I glared at them, silently threatening them to keep laughing. They shut up quite fast.

"Nao," Mai lightly chastised, before she properly introduced everyone else. It ended quickly. What was the point in rambling on and on about names? It wasn't as if we wanted to be friends. Actually, now that I thought about it, there really wasn't any reason for me to come here, not with these guys at least. It didn't really matter now. We were here, and might as well enjoy the evening to the best of our ability.

Mai eagerly volunteered to go first. She tried to get me to go with her. I politely refused and pushed her into the spotlight. This was her favorite time to shine. Plus, I really wanted to watch her sing. Maybe we could do a duet a little later in the night.

She chose a catchy pop song that was popular a couple of years ago. Everyone began clapping along as they were caught up in the moment. I smiled and joined in. Hell, if Natsuki could happily cheer away for Mai, I was going to do better. Soon enough, Mai managed to drag me up with her to dance with her on the mini-stage. It was kind of embarrassing, but fun.

After a couple of minutes, her turn was over. Some guy volunteered to go next. He chose some random song that I didn't really hear. All of my attention was on the orange-haired girl panting in the seat next to mine. I grabbed her hand and asked, "You have fun?"

"Yeah," she replied, exhaling a quickened breath. "I can't remember the last time I did karaoke. Though," she paused. Her index finger rose up and tapped her chin in an expression of thought. An amused, but slightly cruel smile appeared on her face as she slowly turned towards Natsuki's direction.

I smirked knowing what she was thinking. The poor private eye would never escape tonight. Even if I had to go through hell too, it'd be worth it to see the proud and easily embarrassed Natsuki Kuga taken down a few notches. Well, it'd be entertaining at least.

A silent look of agreement passed between my girlfriend and me. "Kuga, how about we make this more interesting?"

She turned to me with a curious expression on her face. "Oh?" She tentatively asked.

I turned to Mai, slightly curious of her plan. "Whoever gets the most votes gets to choose the loser's song," she said.

That sounded like fun. The boys in the room immediately perked up at the thought. I turned to them. "What do you think guys?"

The nerdy guys cheered. Akane and Kazuya looked at each other before tentatively agreeing. Ah right, Mai invited them, something about old friends. Since I was never close to that particular couple, I didn't care.

Asahara nervously poked me and asked, "Are you sure that's wise?" A look of pity and a hint of fear were on her face.

"Yeah," I casually replied. "It'll be fun," I said with a little less enthusiasm. Thinking about it some more, maybe it wasn't the greatest idea.

"Not a chance." She firmly crossed her arms and shook her head. "I can't win against Mai."

"No worries, you're going against Nao." My girlfriend responded.

I panicked. "Wait, what?" I turned to her in shock and disappointment. "You're not doing it with me."

"C'mon Nao, it'll be more fair. You'll enjoy it." She tried to coax me.

A wave of doubt passed through me. Why did I have to humiliate myself alone? At least with Mai I could be more comfortable. She wasn't budging though.

Reluctantly I agreed to her plan. Mentally I cursed my foolishness. Had it been anyone else I would have left without a second thought, but this was Mai. She was my girlfriend. Lately though, it felt more like a one-sided crush than anything else.

I quickly brushed aside my doubts. Tonight we planned to have fun. Sitting up, I challenged Natsuki. "You up for some fun?"

She smirked at me. "Prepare to lose Yuuki."

I went first. Mai chose a love ballad that would suit my voice. I wasn't quite sure what it was about, or who sang it. It felt ridiculously mushy and unnecessarily long. I felt sick during the second round of the chorus, yet the moment Mai smiled at me, the feeling disappeared, and suddenly I was singing to her.

Afterward everyone seemed to enjoy it. At the final note, I grinned at Natsuki, challenging her to beat that. Her face noticeably paled a little at the performance.

Natsuki went up for her turn. Everyone started hooting and hollering suggestions, since she seemed so unsure. I noticed Asahara offered up some nice and very humiliating pop songs. Sawatori's friends mainly shouted out obscure things that were probably anime theme songs.

She ended up with something generic. Naturally, by the time her lyrics started she already had a red tint. By the time the song was over, her face could mimic a tomato. To be fair, she did take a healthy swig of beer before attempting to go on stage. With her pale skin, it wouldn't be surprising if it turned out she was among the few that developed the Asian glow when drinking.

Now that the first round was over, a vote was cast. She won. I cursed the world where her tomboyish qualities served as "moe points" as one of Sawatori's friends put it. Mai could only pat my back in consolation as I sucked up my pride and let the damned mutt chose my punishment.

As humiliated as I was, the night ended pretty well. We played a couple more rounds of the game, where the others participated as well. Thankfully, Kazuya lost the most, probably because he was the only male with our group. The other guys were simply left out most of the time, though I didn't think they cared all that much.

I walked Mai home. It was still disappointing that she did not return to live with me in the dorm, but Sister had offered to rent the room she was using for a low price. My dorm room was only built for two after all, and she couldn't freeload forever, or at least that's what Mai said.

It wasn't as if Mikoto and I really minded that she was there. I sure as hell preferred to be near her, but Mai was insistent. I must admit, it did give me the opportunity to concentrate on my school work. Now that I had finally caught up, we could actually go on more dates.

The next day at school was typical. More rumors spread around the school about Sawatori and me. While I didn't really care; it was annoying to see their looks of disgust and pity. Every time I passed by, I was tempted to show them just how interested I was in their opinion with my fist.

Since I finished catching up on school work, there was no need to spend that much time in the library now. Sure my class had upcoming college entrance exams, but it wasn't as if I could afford to go even if I miraculously got into one. Even Mai had accepted that my near future didn't include any further education. With luck, I could partner up with Natsuki if she could afford it.

The morning flew by in a blur. Before I knew it, lunch started. I took out a bread roll from my bag. It wasn't as if I had learned to cook over the past month, so Mikoto and I learned how to survive off premade food.

Sawatori walked into my classroom and waved to me like an idiot. He grabbed a spare chair nearby and sat across from me. I noticed that his food was nicely packed and cooked. A brief moment of jealously hit me as my stomach cried for a home cooked meal. Damn Sawatori and his proper bento.

He took out his chopsticks and began to rattle on about something arbitrary. He wanted to be friends, or at least that's what he told me. I let him do whatever, because I didn't care. At some point I successfully managed to tune him out to think about other things.

Natsuki wanted me to take on a few more jobs. For some reason there was an increase in cases about lost pets, and she wanted me to take care of them. I secretly suspected that she put in an ad in the newspaper, but of course the crazy P.I. vehemently denied my accusation. Asahara said something about customers spreading news about our success rate in finding things. Apparently, fifteen percent success was high. Oh well, if an idiot was that desperate to find a dog, I wasn't about to stop him from spending money.

I was skulking about the park where a few of my homeless acquaintances spotted the missing black poodle. Sure enough, it appeared next to a small water fountain in the middle of the park. I slowly walked towards it with a dog snack in my hand. It sniffed the air and looked at me with interest.

Catching dogs was tricky. I had to make sure that I wasn't bitten. Usually it wasn't that bad. Mikoto was kind enough to show me a trick on how to calm animals.

The dog took the bait, and snapped at the snack. I quickly managed to loop a leash onto its neck, then wrestled to get a muzzle on. Today was a success.

"Yo Yuuki-san," someone called out to me. I looked in the direction of the voice and recognized a couple of guys from my school. Uninterested, I blinked, and returned to my work.

One grabbed my arm before I could leave. "Don't ignore us bitch."

I stared at his hand, and then yanked my arm out of his grip. "What the fuck do you want?" They were street punks. I didn't know if I could handle both at once. I mean, I was good at fighting, but they weren't exactly inexperienced either.

"Word is that you got your hands into Sawatori's pockets."

It was obvious where this was going, and I wasn't the least bit interested. "It's a lie."

"Right," the bigger of the two said, "he just follows you like a love-struck puppy, because it's fashionable."

"More or less." I shrugged.

"Cut the crap Yuuki. We know you've got him around your little finger, and we want in." He took a step closer to intimidate me. The other guy punched his hand to emphasize their point.

"Idiot, if I could use him, I wouldn't out here busting my ass to catch lost animals." I tugged the poodle next to me as if to emphasize my point. They looked at the animal, as if seeing it for the first time.

A moment passed as the leader pondered my statement. "Don't fuck with me." He grabbed my shirt.

"I'm not lying asshole. He knows I've got someone else." I gauged the pair. If I could disable him for a little, I could run away. Hopefully the dog wouldn't drag me down.

He gripped tighter. "Not a good answer." He slapped me hard.

My lip bled. Damn. I glared at him in defiance. "Fuck you." I smirked.

He looked puzzled at my expression.

I seized the opportunity to poke him in the eyes. He grabbed his face in pain. I broke free and ran away. It didn't take long to reach a more populated spot. I smirked again as the second punk caught up to me. Waving goodbye, I quickly took off and walked deeper into the crowd.

"Bitch!" He yanked me backward before pushing me to the ground.

I accidentally let go of the leash, and the dog ran away. I cursed under my breath. Thinking quickly, I screamed, "Ahh, help, this man is attacking me!" Idiot, what did he think he could do in a public place?

He looked around him in panic as everyone in the small plaza froze. "No," he stuttered, "she was trying to escape. Wait! No, I mean she was running Damn it." Glaring at me one last time, he left before anyone could act.

A couple of good Samaritans helped me to my feet. "Has anyone seen my precious Muffin?" I asked hoping that someone managed to catch the mutt.

"Oh, this dog is yours Yuuki-san?" Sawatori suddenly popped into view holding the poodle on its leash. He looked at the dog. "Kind of strange to have a muzzle," he commented.

I felt a little unnerved by his sudden appearance, but accepted the dog leash as he passed it to me. The crowd around me had dispersed now that there was nothing to see. "Umm, thanks," I casually said and left the area.

He followed. "I didn't peg you as a dog person," he said in an attempt to start a conversion.

"I'm not. I'm doing this for work." I replied.

"You work?" He sounded surprised. We turned at a corner.

"Of course," I snapped.

He looked at the dog and then looked at me. "What exactly do you do?"

I stopped walking. "What do you want Sawatori?"

He looked at me sheepishly. "I just want to get to know you better?"

"And?" I asked angrily. No way did he just want to get to know me.

"And nothing Yuuki-san. I just want to be friends." He defended.

I grabbed him by the collar, and pushed him into a wall. Staring straight into his eyes I said, "No you don't. Everyone wants something. It's how people work. Now, what the hell do you want?"

His looked away nervously. "Umm," he paused. Thinking a moment, he replied, "I really like you Yuuki-san."

"I told you I'm not interested." I gripped tighter, making him more uncomfortable.

"I know, but I think you would like me if you got to know me." He replied while struggling to breath properly.

I sneered. "I don't want to get to know you. I like only one person. She's my girlfriend."

He chuckled. It pissed me off.

"What the fuck is so funny?" I growled.

"Come on Yuuki-san," he said. "That was just an act. It was obvious you two were not in a relationship. I mean, the both of you were acting the whole night."

That did it. I had enough. "Don't talk about things you don't know." Immediately, I slammed his head into the wall, and kneed him in the groin. As he slouched over in pain, I walked away.

What did that son of bitch know anyway? Sure, Mai was a little awkward that night, but we both were. We weren't acting. If he thought we were acting, he was mistaken. Mai cared about me; I was sure of it. Wasn't I sure of it? I wanted so badly to be sure of it, but the doubts slowly crept into the back of my mind. It plagued my thoughts as I made my way to Natsuki's office.

We hadn't made progress since my confession. I was beginning to feel like a fool for trying, but I wanted to believe that she would fall in love with me, and this was more than some fleeting one-sided crush. I was trying though, and trying was tough. She always asked me to do something I didn't like. I did it anyway, because I loved her.

A sarcastic laugh escaped my lips. Since when did I believe in love?

Natsuki was out. Luckily there was a pet cage in the corner where I could leave the dog for the night. It was probably uncomfortable, but the lack of space and the necessity of keeping it properly confined outweighed the animal's need for comfort. It was temporary anyway. Natsuki would inform the owner the next morning of the successful capture. I left the case file on top of the cage, so Natsuki would know who to contact job completion.

Still, my mind continued to drift toward the thought of Mai and her feelings. I desperately wanted to confront her, and force her to reveal the truth, yet I was afraid of it. I wanted things to work out, but few things ever did.

Before I knew, I found myself standing in front of Sister's small suburban house. I looked behind me, then to the front. For some reason, it felt as if God was playing a huge joke on me, and a camera crew would show up out of nowhere to record my humiliation. I felt stupid.

Hesitantly, I rang the doorbell and waited. And waited. No one answered. Maybe no one was home. I cursed myself for not calling ahead. Of course, I was fucking retarded. Then a light shined through from the window next to the door. The curtain inside glowed. I heard shuffling behind the door. Slowly it opened, only a crack at first. The light shined through to me.

"Nao?" Mai softly called from the other side. She opened the door further. "What are you doing here? Do you know what time it is?"

"Mai," I said in surprise, "I, umm, wanted to see you." Suddenly, I felt silly for being there.

She yawned as she invited me in. "We have to be quiet. The others are sleeping," she whispered.

I shyly held her hand as she led me to her room. My eyes focused on the floor. What was I doing there anyway? I'm an idiot.

"Nao, what's wrong?" she asked as we sat down on her bed.

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say.

She gently put her hand under my chin and lifted my face, so our eyes could meet. Her eyes widened in surprise for a moment. "Nao, you lip!" She brushed her fingers over the split section. "What happened? You didn't go out hunting again did you?"

I frowned. "Of course not," I blurted. It hurt to know that she didn't trust me. "A couple of punks ambushed me in the park. I managed to get away, but not before one of 'em hit me."

"Why would they ambush you?" She seemed genuinely concerned, and a little skeptical. Gently she rubbed the side of my lip.

"They think I've seduced Sawatori, and want a piece of the action." I leaned in to her touch. "Apparently the kid is rich," I added for good measure.

"That sounds a little ridiculous," she said.

"You don't believe me." The mountain of doubts that haunted me began to surface again. I withdrew.

"I want to," she pleaded.

I stood up. "Coming here was a mistake." I felt angry with her. My doubts only fueled my fear further. I began to leave. Maybe I'd think more clearly tomorrow.

"Nao what's wrong?" She held my arm tightly and refused to let go.

"You don't trust me." I coldly replied.

"I'm trying," she said.

I yanked my arm from her hold. "No you're not!" I nearly screamed. All my doubts and frustrations bubbled to the surface. "I'm always the one giving in. Every time you want to do something, we do it, but we do nothing I want." I kicked a small stuffed animal on the ground. "Everyone uses you against me, and you always force me to doing something I don't like. I'm tired of it. I love you, but you obviously feel nothing." I screamed until I ran out of breath.

She said nothing. There really wasn't much to say. Only guilt reflected in her face.

"I can't do this anymore. We're done. I give up." I left. Sure, I kind of wished she would chase after me, stop me and tell me that she really did care, but that would only happen in a fantasy, and I knew too well how far it was from reality. Reality bites.

I didn't make it home. By the time I got back to campus, school had started. I was exhausted from the long walk, but managed to show up to class regardless. Plus, the dreams that came with sleep would only remind me of Mai.

I left class as soon as lunch started. Attending lecture was a terrible idea. I got bored and began daydreaming. A couple of times I actually fell asleep before being woken up by a teacher smacking me in the head. They looked like they wanted to assign me extra work for being so negligent in class, but none of them did. I could only assume that they accepted that I would probably not do it.

Skulking around campus, I managed to find myself in the school chairman's personal garden. I vaguely remembered that Midori held a couple of those ridiculous Hime Ranger meetings there. It was a pretty place, but reminded me a lot of Carnival. I managed to find my way to the gazebo. This was as good a place to nap as any.

"Yo Yuuki, fancy meeting you here." It was the jerks who got me in the park the night before.

I grumbled; this was a shitty place to get into fight. "Fuck off assholes."

The leader, a little on the chubby side, sat next to me. "I'm here to pay you back for last night."

Damn, and I hoped they were there to just intimidate me more. I shoved their leader away. There were five guys. I was in no condition to fight; this was going to be bad. Quickly I got into a defensive position. The all laughed at me. Fuck, that pissed me off.

I flipped out my knife. They shut up. A few backed away in fear, but their leader spoke up. "C'mon, she's just one girl. The bitch probably doesn't even know how to use that knife."

I smiled dangerously. "Oh, you want to find out?"

Their leader took the initiative and lunged at me. I dodged quickly and made sure to leave a long gash up his punching arm. He grabbed the injury. "Bitch!" he screamed.

Unfortunately, the victory was short lived. His comrades used the distraction to ambush me from behind. Right after I cut their leader, they managed to grab both my arms and force me to drop my knife. I cursed.

Their leader smiled. "I've got you now."

If they thought I was going to beg for mercy, they were wrong. "This just proves that you don't have the balls to face one girl alone." I smirked.

He punched me in anger. "What was that bitch?"

I spit out the blood. "You heard me coward." I emphasized the last word for effect. It made him angrier.

He punched me harder in the stomach. "Shut up bitch. You're the coward."

I wheezed in pain. "That didn't even hurt. You hit like an old woman," I taunted. The guys holding me back were shaking in an effort to restrain their laughs.

He looked at his friends. Something in his eyes changed and lost control. Suddenly with renewed strength he began hitting me without stopping while shouting insults at me at the top of his lungs.

I couldn't say it was painless, though I wish it was. The son of bitch wasn't taking it easy. My innards felt like coming out as he continually assaulted my abdomen. After a few minutes, I couldn't stand anymore, and the guys no longer felt like holding me up.

They dropped me to the ground. I groaned in pain, but apparently they thought I wasn't in enough pain. Each of them began kicking me as hard as they could. I heard something crack, but couldn't tell where since everything felt equally painful.

Stars danced across my eyes. My body was no longer responding to my wishes. This was a very shitty day.

"I'll show you who has balls." A distant voice growled before I blacked out.

_A/N: Ah, cliffhanger. Don't worry, I no longer have writer's block, so the next chapter will be out in a timely manner (within the month). _


	17. Chapter 17

_Author's Notes: Apologies for the five day delay. I fell behind my writing schedule. Also, this chapter isn't as edited as I'd like it to be; however, I will be on vacation all next week and will not have computer access. When I return, I shall upload a better version (probably). _

_

* * *

_

"Nao wake up," a familiar voice called to me. I recognized it; it was Mama. She was with me. We lived together in a small apartment.

I groggily got up from my bed, silently wishing that the night was longer so I could sleep more. I thought of the dream I just had about twelve girls who had to battle each other with giant pokemon, so they could save the person they loved the most. Yeah, it made absolutely no sense whatsoever, but somehow seemed so real. Mama came in my room and quickly rushed me to get dressed. She had to drag me out from under the covers.

"Five more minutes," I begged her. Something felt off today. Even as I awoke, this reality felt no more real than the world of my dream.

She sternly refused and pulled my ear to get me up. "You'll be late for school." As I slowly sauntered toward the bathroom, she placed her hands on her hips and sighed. "You can't afford to be like this as a third year exam student. Hurry up and get ready."

I groaned while brushing my teeth. Third year huh? There were so many colleges to choose from. Of course Mama hoped I would get into something prestigious like Tokyo University, but I was never quite smart enough to get high in the class rankings. If anything, I'd probably end up at some mediocre state college. She was fine with that too of course. Mama knew how hard I studied to achieve my goals. They were satisfactory, but one always had one's dreams.

Mama, of course, was a successful lawyer. We were living comfortably in the suburbs nearby Fuuka Academy. I hated having to take the bus every morning, because I had to wake up earlier. However, I could save money by living at home instead of the dorms. Plus, I didn't want to leave Mama all alone.

A few years ago, she confessed to me that my father was a partner in a law firm she worked at. He was married, and she was much younger. My mother said she held no illusions about his intent. Instead, upon learning of her pregnancy, she quietly left the firm and started her own small business.

She hurried me out the door as we both needed to catch the bus. She would eventually get on a train and head toward the city while I would get off at the bus stop in front of school. We didn't talk on the ride.

There were a few people I knew on campus, but we weren't really all the close. My only real friend, Natsuki Kuga, was four years older than me. We met a few years ago in a street fight, back when I was wilder.

Mama really worried about me back then. It wasn't until I saw someone killed did I seriously change my life. The victim was actually a member of a rival gang. We just happen to run into each on the streets. Three seconds after meeting, some man shot her from behind, and tried to silence me as a witness. Thankfully, I thought fast and managed to get away. The murderer was a hit man for a mafia organization the girl had crossed. He was in jail now, so I tried not to about it.

Class was extremely boring. The teachers droned on about various topics and test-taking techniques that I didn't quite care to learn. After a while, everything just blended together into a gigantic blur of meaningless information.

Half way through history I was desperately trying to stay awake. The dates and letters began to jumble in my vision. Slowly, my head nodded to sleep.

"Yuuki-san!" yelled my teacher. She threw a piece of chalk at my head.

The pain immediately woke me up. "That hurt Midori-chan."

"That's Sugiura-sensei to you." She corrected.

Everyone laughed. It was an inside joke for us, because she's been seventeen-years-old for four years. We continued the lesson soon after. This time I managed to take legible notes.

After school, I visited Mai in a local ramen place. She worked there as an assistant chef after going to chef school. Things went well for her after high school. Soon after graduation, Tate proposed in a grand romantic gesture. They got married a few months after. The debt left over from her brother's heart surgery was paid off after the sudden death of a moderately wealthy relative. Her life was nearly perfect.

We talked for a bit. It was well before rush hour and the owner liked me. We mostly conversed about arbitrary rumors and other meaningless things. That was when she decided to drop a bomb on my lap.

"Nao, I have something to confess." Her voice was both giddy, and a little frightened.

I looked up at her with a mixture of confusion and concern. "What?"

"I'm pregnant." She proudly stated.

I choked on air. Stuttering, I replied, "What!"

"I'm pregnant," she repeated again.

"Congratulations," I tentatively replied, unsure if she believed it good news or not.

"Thank you," she beamed. Thank God, she was happy about it. "I haven't told Yuuichi yet." Her eyes shyly focused on the floor. It explained the fear in her voice earlier.

"I see," I said. "I'm sure he'll be overjoyed."

"Do you really think so?" She clasped her hands together as if begging me to tell her something reassuring.

I could only oblige. "Of course," I told her, "you both want kids right?"

She nodded her head vigorously.

I was happy for her, truly. However, something inside me wrenched in pain as I heard the news. It was like I wanted it was false, but I did not know why. The more I thought about it; the more miserable I felt.

It had to be jealousy, or at least I wanted it to be. Mai had the perfect life, with the perfect husband, and now a child was completing her family. Every guy I dated was a complete creep. One of them even turned out to be a pedophile. Believe me; I was surprised when cops showed up at my door asking me if I knew anything of his illicit activities. It took me less than a minute to decide to break up with him.

I left the ramen place soon after her confession. Aside from my feelings, there was something stifling about the store. Maybe it was just paranoia. Something was simply off today. I couldn't quite place the strange feeling that kept bothering me through the day. Now the feeling had grown stronger.

It drove me to drop by Natsuki's workplace. She was bartender for some hostess joint that I couldn't quite recall the name of. Her history as a gang member pretty much barred her from ever going to college, not that it bothered her much. From what I could tell, she enjoyed her job.

Business was slow that early in the night. The hostesses let me in without hesitation, knowing I was Natsuki's friend. The owner let me visit as long as it wasn't peak hours. I didn't mind, Mama wouldn't want me to stay too long, though she certainly didn't know I frequented such a place.

Natsuki was cleaning shot glasses behind the bar. I sat down on a stool right in front. She made me a virgin cocktail of some sort. It had pineapple juice and some other fruity flavors.

"What's up?" she casually asked.

I shrugged, pretending that I had no idea what she was referring to.

She paused and looked at me. "You only come in here if you're feeling down or something, otherwise you'd wait to talk to me when I had a day off."

I rejected her statement. "Not true," I said, "I stop by for other reasons." My mind searched for proof. "I just can't think of any." Damn.

"Oh? What's with that lame depressed look then?" She finished cleaning glass and set it down before picking up a beer mug.

A sigh escaped my mouth. "Mai's pregnant."

She froze. "What?"

"You heard me." Briefly, I wondered if Mai would be angry that I told Natsuki instead of letting her do it herself.

"Wow. Shit." She placed the mug down on the bar, and leaned back.

"Yeah, I know." I wondered how Natsuki felt. After a string of bad boyfriends, she miraculously ended up with the former school president, Fujino Shizuru. Setting aside the fact that Fujino was female, I didn't even know they were friends. Admittedly, I didn't believe Natsuki at first when she confessed to the relationship.

"She's really growing up." A reminiscent smile appeared on her face.

"You're one to talk." I laughed.

Before we could continue, my cell phone went off. Mama's number appeared on the miniature screen. I didn't hesitate to answer. "Nao, it's late. Where are you?" Worry laced her voice.

I looked at a nearby clock. Shit, it was almost nine. I wondered where all the time went. "Umm, I'll be home soon mom."

After hearing my voice, hers suddenly became cheerful. "Oh, please drop by the grocery store and buy some eggs." Ah, so that's why she called. Where did all that concern go?

I didn't let her change of character bug me. After agreeing to buy the eggs, I hung up the phone and waved goodbye to Natsuki. I had to get home.

It was pretty dark outside. Strangely, no stars were glittering in the sky. Only the moon and a single red star stood out. The emptiness was creepy. The street I walked on was devoid of people, though I was sure this was a popular street. There were lots of neon lights flashing as far as I could see.

Suddenly, a movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention. I spun around quickly to pinpoint its location, or run if necessary. A trashcan in an alleyway crashed over. I jumped back in surprise, only to see a cat digging through the garbage. A sigh of relief escaped my lips.

As I relaxed, a kid with the strangest white hair appeared in front of the cat. In a laughing voice he chanted, "Are you the princess or the beast? Which, can you answer, is the true monster?" A creepy smile appeared on his lips, and he slowly lifted up his hand to point at me. "Can you?" he asked.

I looked at him incredulously. "What the fuck are you talking about kid?"

He laughed wildly. "You should know." His eyes narrowed, revealing a dangerous gleam. "Because you're a monster too," he finished, before running off while screaming his insane chant.

I froze with anger and denial. I wasn't a monster. Why, I wondered, did his words feel so true?

The street started to buzz again. There were people around me. "When did they get there," I wondered. The kid was gone. The stars were back in their proper places, but the strange red star was still there, next to the moon. It even looked a little larger.

I brushed off the freaky encounter and continued on my way home. There was little point in getting distracted by a random event. That little boy was probably crazy anyway.

* * *

Mama was glad when I showed up around ten-o-clock holding the eggs. She still chastised me when I got home though. It didn't bother her so much before, but now that I was an "exam" student, it made a difference.

On the plus side, she managed to reheat dinner for me. Most would think her too busy to raise me and keep a job at the same time, but she made it work somehow. Don't get me wrong, there was a time when she was never home, and I pretty much had free reign. But since that shooting incident, she made an effort to be home and cook dinner more often. Although, Mama's cooking skills were nothing to brag about. It wasn't inedible or anything, just that it was average.

Once done with dinner, I set to work on finishing any problem sets my teachers assigned. It was long and boring, and as the night dragged on, I became more and more sleepy. Eventually, I dozed off on my desk.

"Nao, please wake up." I immediately sat up straight in surprise. It was Mai's voice. I looked around the room, but Mai wasn't there. I quickly brushed it off as a figment of my imagination brought on by the late hour combined with annoying homework. Returning to work, I began staring at the complex literary questions once again. Shit, this stuff did not suit me at all.

Suddenly, a hand brushed my face as Mai's voice said once more, "Please Nao, wake up."

I shot up out of my chair, and looked around the room again. That, sure as hell, was more than just my imagination. It was certain; my room was haunted by a ghost that sounded eerily like Mai.

"Will you not wake for her?" said a young girl's voice.

I jumped in my place, and slowly turned toward the direction of the voice. "Who are you?" I was flabbergasted, and more than a little frightened. The ghost had shown its true form.

She was maybe ten with lavender hair. The young girl moved slowly and deliberately with an unnatural grace that only spirits could achieve. "Will you not wake for her?" it asked again. Sad eyes and a pitying smile faced me. It pissed me off.

My fear was replaced with anger. "Who the fuck are you?" I demanded.

She sighed, relenting to answer my question. "You know who I am Yuuki Nao."

"Queen of Hell, Kazahana Mashiro" I answered without thinking. Strange, how I knew that it was true.

"So tell me, will you wake?" She asked again.

I looked at her confused. "I am awake."

"Are you?" She seemed too sure. "Can you not hear it?"

It was insanity, yet I could faintly hear a voice softly speaking to me. For some reason, I knew it was Mai.

I looked at the child again. "Why does she sound so sad?"

"Why do you think?" the ghost girl replied.

"But she doesn't care about me." I screamed without thinking. Those words hurt as I said them. Still, I did not know what they actually meant, only that they were a painful truth.

She smiled with pity. "Do you truly believe that?"

I clenched my teeth. "Stop answering with questions!" My fists slammed on my desk.

The white-haired little boy shimmered into view next to her. "Give up," said Nagi. "She won't get it anyway." He looked at me with a creepy smile that appeared like it belonged to the devil.

Anger coursed through me. "Stop screwing with me!" I moved to attack. Everything went black.

"Dammit!" I screamed as I jumped up from my chair. It crashed behind me. I searched the room again, the ghost girl was gone. I was alone in the room. Mama rushed in to see what I was screaming about.

"Nothing," I told her. There was nothing to worry about. I just fell asleep on my desk and had a bad dream. She accepted my reason and told me to go to bed. According to her, it was important to refresh myself.

I collapsed onto the mattress. It truly was a disturbing dream. Staring at the ceiling, I wondered about what it meant. How was Mai involved? Sure, I was surprised when she told me she was pregnant, but why would that be important?

A foreboding feeling came over me. In the dream, I was in love with her. As much as I wanted to dismiss it as part of the hallucination, the feeling was still there. The hidden longing dug at me. This feeling wasn't there yesterday. What was wrong with me? Frustrated I tossed in my bed. Before I knew it, morning had come. I spent the whole night obsessing about Mai, that ghost, and for some odd reason, a giant mechanical spider named Juliet.

* * *

I met up with Natsuki after school. She opted to hang out with me before her shift began. We wandered around city for a bit while talking about arbitrary things. Our lives were boring. At least they were safe.

"You talk to Mai yet?" I asked her.

She grinned. "Yeah, she sounds excited too, though a little pissed that you told me first."

I laughed. "Sorry about that."

Natsuki stopped walking. Darkness came over her body. She faced the ground and grumbled, "Wake up idiot." A flash of white hair appeared in the corner of my eye.

"What did you say?" I spun around to face her.

She looked at me again. The darkness disappeared. "I asked you if you were up for a few games." She pointed at the arcade we were standing in front of.

Though confused, I didn't hesitate for a moment. "Prepared to get your ass kicked Kuga." For a moment, it felt like someone else had spoken when she asked me to wake up. It made no sense though. How would Natsuki know about my dream?

Everything was spinning out of control. I spent the week avoiding Mai in whatever way I could. The feelings that appeared in the dream haunted me during the day. I didn't want to be in love with Mai. She was happy, married and expecting a child. The reality of it just made it hurt more. Why couldn't I just let it go? Even if I confronted her now, nothing good would happen. At the very best, nothing would happen at all. At the worst, I'd ruin everything. I didn't want to destroy everything she held dear.

As I pondered this, Mashiro appeared to me again. She didn't say anything, just smiled that annoying smile of hers as if she understood my pain.

I screamed at her in frustration. Curse after curse left my mouth. I don't anyone had ever heard me cuss so much in their entire life. Yet, all the girl did was smile. I yelled until my voice grew hoarse. Finally I collapsed onto my knees. "Why are you punishing me?"

She slowly walked up to me and calmly patted my hair. "I'm not."

"Then why do I feel like this? Why can't I get over her?" These feelings did not appear until Mashiro did. They had to be connected.

"You've had those feelings the whole time. You've simply remembered them that's all." She explained.

"I don't want them." I rudely brushed aside her act of kindness. "I don't want to feel like this. I want to go back to before."

She looked hurt by my rejection. "I'm afraid there is nothing I can do. Love is not a feeling one can control, not even by a god."

Nagi phased into my room again. "Why are you denying it anyway? Mai-hime is the best." He shot me the peace sign. They both disappeared.

I swore if I saw another ghostly figure, I would punch it back to oblivion.

"Come back to me please." It was definitely Mai. This time it was clear. She clenched on to my arm, and my sleeve felt wet from tears. I could hear her cry.

I pondered everything up to that moment. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I was obviously losing my mind. Maybe insanity was genetic. Was there any history of mental illness of on my father's side of the family?

Yet, the disembodied voice that belonged to Mai made me doubt. I couldn't help but think, what if the dreams I've been having were memories, and the world I was in a dream? Even if this world was the dream, I didn't really want to go back to the real world. Mama was gone there. Mai had rejected me. I was a borderline dropout with little hope for the future.

She was calling me back though. Mai was begging me to wake up and return. As much as I hated that world that put me through hell, I wanted to go back to her. Even if just for a moment, I wanted to see her smile in the real world. Sure I could see her in this dream, but it wasn't real. It was just a figment of my imagination.

As I thought about this, the reality around me began to break apart. The entire dream cracked like glass and faded away. Slowly I felt my body synchronize with my soul. First, my unconscious body functions returned. My heart was beating. I began breathing. Then the numbness in my body began to go away.

I opened my eyes for real. A weight on my arm shifted.

"Mai?" My throat was dry and raspy. I tried to move my right arm, only to find that it was in a cast. My whole body ached. I regretted waking up.

Mai froze in shock. "Nao?" she stuttered a little. Her eyes were all puffy from crying. For some reason, I thought it looked cute.

"Who else?" I tried to chuckle, but it hurt.

She suddenly hugged me. "I've been so worried."

While I enjoyed the physical contact, my chest couldn't handle it. "Mai, I'm glad you're happy now, but it hurts."

Concerned, she immediately drew back. "I'm so sorry; are you okay?"

I smiled the best I could to reassure her. "As good as I can be."

She relaxed. "Thank God." Suddenly a thought occurred to her. "I should get a doctor."

Fear flashed through me. "Don't leave." I used my uninjured left hand to grab hers.

She sat down and placed my hand on her face. A reassuring smile appeared. "Don't worry, I'll come right back."

I reluctantly let her go, feeling like this was the last time I'd ever see her. Though she seemed sincere, I couldn't tell if it was all an act so I wouldn't suspect that she was leaving. I wanted to slam my head on my pillow, but couldn't really move my neck enough to do so. Maybe I shouldn't have woken up at all.

The doctor and a few nurses came in to examine me. After looking at a few charts and checking my vitals, they seemed satisfied. The doctor explained the extent of my injuries and informed me of what I needed to recover properly. She made sure to emphasize the seriousness of my condition. According to her, I had been asleep for two and a half days.

Mentally, I cursed the assholes who ambushed me in the garden. A full recovery would take forever. I recalled the last thing the guy said before I got knocked out. It made me shudder. I gritted my teeth. If he did anything, I swear I'd do more than just kill him. Even if he didn't do anything, I was going to find some way to pay him back tenfold. Maybe Natsuki was up for some extra work.

The dreadful thoughts were quickly brushed aside when Mai walked back in with a couple of boxes of juice. I sighed in relief, grateful that she kept her promise to return. My good arm reached out to accept one of the drinks she offered. However, she kept it from me. My eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

An amused smile appeared on her face. "Oh," she said, answering an unasked question. "How do you propose to put in the straw and move it in front of your face with one good hand?"

I scowled and turned my head away. Just because I was in a hospital bed didn't mean she could treat me like a child.

"Nao, don't be like that," Mai scolded me. A pop was heard as she pushed the straw into the box. "Here, this is yours."

I refused to turn my head. I wanted to be stubborn. We weren't together anymore. I at least wanted this little bit of revenge, though I was tempted to give in anyway.

She sighed in exasperation, and then moved into my line of sight on purpose. "Stop acting like a child," she said before unceremoniously forcing the straw into my mouth. "Drink," she ordered.

I would have resisted more, but was extremely thirsty after not drinking for two days. Greedily I gulped down the liquid, while resenting every mouthful. I could see her triumphant grin. "Don't think you've won." Even as I said that, I knew I had lost.

She laughed. "Now you're just being petty."

There was something about her voice that calmed me down. The last bit of anger I had disappeared. "Damn right, and you can't do anything about it." I half-heartedly quipped. We both shared a laugh, though I made an effort to move as little as possible. The pain reminded me of why I was there. "Mai," I spoke, "How did I get here?"

* * *

A/N: Alright, if anyone is confused right now a quick explanation of this chapter is that it mostly featured Nao in a semi-happy dream world.

The next chapter will be the last chapter, and will be from Mai's POV.


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: So we end an adventure. _

Ch. 18 Mai

I don't know when it started. I mean, I've always cared about her in the same way I cared about everyone else. There was nothing special about Nao Yuuki. If anything, I found her personality to be aggravating beyond belief and thought that she was a rash, irresponsible time bomb waiting to for the right moment to cause the maximum amount of damage to those around her.

Initially, when I moved in, Nao was extremely resistant. She hated sharing the room with Mikoto in the first place, and another addition simply made the small area even more crowded. If it were not for my cooking skills, I believe she never would have let me in at all.

At the time I didn't really care how she felt about it. I really needed a place to stay, and my recent break up with Yuuichi left me with a broken heart. At best, I felt apathetic about those around me as I wallowed in self pity left over from a failed fantasy.

Yuuichi and I tried to remain friends. It wasn't as if we parted on particularly bad terms. Our romance began with a grand battle for the fate of the world. Sadly, it ended in a way that could only be described as surreal. One day we woke up and realized it was over. With time, I managed to overcome my sadness. It wasn't easy as such things are never painless. People say that time heals all wounds; they never talk about the scar that remained long after.

I buried myself in work. Part of it was that I needed the money; the other was that I didn't really want to think about my new found loneliness. Mikoto was great at keeping me company, but that hardly compensated for a serious relationship. It didn't help that she was almost always bouncing off the wall with excess energy, or couldn't really hold a serious conversation with me. I swear, at times I thought that girl was purposely misleading me. My life had fallen into stasis. It was like I was trying my best to run forward only to realize that the floor beneath me was speeding backward. Life was all about work, and money. Honestly, looking back now, I was a silly person.

When Nao was shot the first time, something inside me clicked. We had fights before about her troublesome habit of luring predators from the streets. I was fairly certain that she pulled more than petty pranks on those fool enough to follow her. There was little I could do about her problem. It was obvious from the beginning she was obsessed with the act, much in the same way a gambler couldn't stop gambling. The rush and excitement from winning over a foe was too much.

Addiction was a dangerous thing. I could see the subtle hints of its effects on Nao: baggy eyes from lack of sleep, faint trembling when not on the prowl and a shorter temper on days where she couldn't get her fix. People didn't really consider it, but behaviors could be addictive too.

To say our early days together were calm would be a blatant lie. She hated my guts, especially after I called everyone together to stop her from getting hurt again. Admittedly, I underestimated her potential reactions. The cut on my arm wasn't nearly as painful as it looked; she obviously hadn't meant to do it. Regardless, even if I chose to leave her alone, I simply could not apply such a decision in reality.

I probably cared about her more than I should have. Calling up Natsuki and forcing her to follow Nao at a distance was quite the feat. Natsuki, being the type of person she was, really wanted to walk up to our red-headed friend and kick her in the face to snap her back to reality. I didn't let her of course. I didn't want to hurt Nao more than necessary, especially after her mother just died.

At the time we thought it was mysterious that she travelled to some random suburb around the city. I thought, "Maybe she's visiting her father." I was surprised to see her throw a rock at some man in front of his home. I wanted to scold her for doing something so asinine. She didn't have to take her anger on a poor stranger. I was very wrong.

It wasn't clear when she fell asleep that night. It was funny how she looked so innocent at that moment while crying into my shoulder. I had to remind myself that she was still just a high school student. Even after all we went through, we were still children in many ways, more than most people in some.

Somehow during all that, I found myself part of Nao's life. She suddenly opened up to me after that, but not in the way most would expect. Where most people opened their front door when welcoming a guest, her front door was undergoing repairs. Instead, she somehow forced me to jump through a window.

Her friendship made me feel special. I liked being the one she wanted to talk to about anything that ranged from arbitrary events to her personal problems. Once more, I felt like I mattered. I hadn't felt like that since breaking up with Yuuichi. It came to the point that she came to me after her sudden epiphany about her dangerous hobby.

We went to confront her worst enemy together. I didn't want her to kill Osagawa-san, and hoped to deter her from acting rashly. At the very least, I was there to warn her of the consequences of her actions. Most of all, I hoped that Osagawa-san had a few redeeming qualities that would force Nao to rethink her resolve. Unfortunately, nothing turned out as planned.

He was probably the most atrocious being I've ever laid eyes on, a disgrace among men. We couldn't just stand aside and watch him hurt his family. They jerked in surprise as we barreled through the front door. Nao took the initiative by attacking. I couldn't stop her, nor did I want to. The best I could do was offer a few words of comfort to the woman and her daughter. The wife looked at me with eyes renewed as she processed the situation. Before I knew it, she had lunged at Nao with a frying pan. My heart lurched with fear as I cried for her to look out.

Finally, everything drew to an end. We reported the situation to the local police. The unconscious monster was wheeled away to an ambulance while his battered family looked on with relief and confusion. When Nao told me of Osagawa-san's fate, I couldn't bring myself to feel sorry for him. A part of me was actually glad of this form of vengeance she managed to achieve.

That time when she begged me to feign a relationship; I felt my heart suddenly beat faster. It wasn't as if we were particularly attracted to each other or anything. Perhaps it was just the rush of sneaking around, though not in the traditional sense. Yet, in a week's time, I found myself alone again.

Without explanation, she suddenly disappeared from my life. Why I suddenly became such a hated person was a mystery. Wasn't she the one who wanted my help? Was all that drew us together Asahara-san's obsession? Was I just some sort of tool? It was hard to accept that despite what I thought, I wasn't all that important to her. I wanted to track her down and force some sort of answer from her, but I let her do what she liked. Nao was never one to listen to reason anyway.

To combat my growing feelings of neglect and loneliness, I threw myself into work again. The café owner was overjoyed to see the return of his hardest worker. It didn't help that I was constantly depressed as I remembered the few times she had visited me during work.

Still, things were tolerable until one day, Asahara-san burst through the front door with tears in her eyes. She slapped me, and blamed me for changing her senpai into a monster. I quickly concluded that Nao had done something dumb again. The problem was that she was actively avoiding me.

* * *

My body moved on its own. Before I knew it, I was on the ground bleeding as she was holding me and begging me to stay alive. She was a silly person. Why would I live if death promised such sweet release? I wouldn't have to hurt anymore.

Then she confessed.

I couldn't say that I was really all that happy at the time; my mind was more focused on the sharp pain shooting through my body. The sirens got louder to the point where her voice was drowned out. In the end, I wasn't sure if the confession actually happened, or was an illusion brought to life by a mind in a dying body.

The next thing I knew I was awake in a hospital bed, feeling weaker than I had ever been. The doctor was there to calmly explain to me that I had been shot, but my attacker had died. I suppose he said that to calm any fears I would have about a repeat attack. I sighed, thinking back to the Carnival. Compared to that, a man who tried to murder me wasn't frightening anyway.

They let me see Takumi first. I was glad to see he was doing fine and living healthy. Akira was taking good care of him. Of course, he couldn't stop tears from flowing down his face when he saw me in such a state. I couldn't blame him, though had to admit that Akira also did well in toughening him up a bit. His past self would've bawled uncontrollably at the site of his hospitalized sister.

After everyone offered their congratulations on surviving, a feat that I did not think deserved praise, they each left some gift before returning to their normal lives. The only person that I wanted to see did not appear. Maybe her confession was not just a product of my imagination after all.

When she finally showed up, I wanted to hit her over the head for waiting so long. I swore that she was nothing more than a spoilt child trapped in a teenager's body. Yet in that sense, her admission of love was too cute. I couldn't turn her away. While I didn't quite return her feelings, a part of me felt something that I didn't recognize.

* * *

When she left my room that night, I couldn't bring myself to follow. What Nao said was true. All we were doing was playing pretend. I didn't even deserve to call her my friend anymore, not after I toyed with her feelings for so long. It felt good though. She was attentive, and gave in to all my requests. I knew it was unfair to her. She gave everything only to receive nothing in return.

It wasn't as if I didn't try. I searched the depths of my heart to find the feelings that could properly return Nao's. I openly flirted with her, testing both our boundaries. I thought that maybe something inside would wake up and realize how wonderful she was. No, that's not it. I knew that she was wonderful in her own way. I simply couldn't accept her love.

Love was the indescribable thing that eluded me. I thought I had it once with Yuuichi, but was that truly love? Our breakup left behind a larger wound than I had originally believed. It wasn't his fault of course. We had our time together. It didn't work out. That was all. He was neither rude nor neglectful. He didn't cheat on me or beat me. We just realized one day that things weren't working out. It was as if we woke up from a dream.

Afterward I couldn't help but doubt myself. He was my most important person. If the love I felt for Yuuichi was so easily forgotten then was it really love? Was love nothing more than an illusion that was fooled ourselves into believing? Were humans even capable of such an emotion? As HIME's we saw the worst that humanity could offer, yet none of us could testify of the best.

I found my answer when policemen answered Nao's cell. Fear overwhelmed me. I knew in an instant that I cared more about her than anyone else. It broke my heart to see her lying still in the hospital bed trapped in dreams. Immediately, I regretted everything. Why was I so stupid not to realize that she had become my most important person?

Every time she stirred in her slumber, my heart hammered in anticipation and hope, only to be crushed once more after realizing that the movement was nothing more than an involuntary twitch. She was stable, but gone. Even as I did my best to coax her back to the waking world, every moment that passed sent me further into despair. Would I never get a second chance?

Finally on the third day, she spoke. It was dry and rasp from lack of water and use. I nearly jumped out of my seat in joy. Without thinking, I grabbed her into a tight hug.

"Thank God," I cried. I would have confessed my feelings right then too, but she gasped in pain and asked to be released. Ashamed, I let go somewhat reluctantly. Her voice too, seemed calm and lacked that sweet tone that she once used to address me when we were together. Disappointed, I excused myself to inform the doctor. A flicker of hope rushed through me as she grabbed my arm and begged me not to leave. Maybe her lack of emotion was due to exhaustion rather loss of affection.

Calmly, I promised to return, wishing I didn't offer to go in the first place. Nonetheless, the doctor had to be told in case anything important needed to be done. I didn't want to put Nao at risk for a few more selfish moments with her.

While she talked with the physician, I took a walk around the hospital to distract myself. In the lobby I ran into Natsuki, who decided to stop by after work. She was happy to hear that Nao finally awoke.

"What do you plan to do now?" she asked. Of course, Natsuki was referring to my relationship. She saw me break down by Nao's bedside as she lay in a semi-comatose state. It didn't take much to realize that I returned Nao's feelings. It frustrated her too, knowing that we couldn't do anything to help the red head.

I stared at the ground trying to formulate my response. "Tell her how I feel, and hope she forgives me."

Natsuki smirked. "Well, I don't know. Nao's the type to hold a grudge," she said jokingly.

I smiled in return, but was unable to bring myself to laugh. Her words didn't quite alleviate the situation. "Natsuki," I chided softly.

She gave me warm smile. "Nao will definitely forgive you if you tell her the truth." Then the woman glanced behind me. "Isn't that her doctor?"

Sure enough Nao's doctor was walking down the hall towards us. She nodded her head to acknowledge our presence while passing by on her way to do continue working. This also meant that Nao was lying in bed alone now, waiting for me to go back. I quickly said goodbye to Natsuki, who decided it was better that she leave without greeting the redhead.

I bought a couple of juice boxes from a vending machine before heading back to the room. Nao looked helpless in the bed, mostly because half her limbs were in casts. She also appeared quite unhappy with her situation. She reached over for the juice I brought in, only to be rebuked. Like a child, she pouted and refused to cooperate. It didn't help that I found her behavior cute.

Then she asked, "How did I get here?"

I tried to explain to her the events as it was told to me. It wasn't particularly complicated. "Fumi-san said she walked in on the boys beating you. They decided to attack her too, but were 'quickly dealt with'." I quoted the school chairman's last words on the subject.

Nao bit her lip and turned away. "Did they…" she paused, as if afraid of something.

It didn't take much for me to grasp what she meant. I told her only what I knew, which hopefully, would be some comfort. "She also told me that you were still fully clothed." I thought it strange at the time when Fumi emphasized that detail. Now I knew why. "I thought they did a test too; didn't they tell you the result?"

At this, Nao visibly relaxed. She shook her head, choosing to face me once more, though I could still see remnants of her tears of fear. So, I decided to change the subject to something far more lighthearted.

"But Nao," I spoke. "I didn't expect you to still be a virgin."

She gagged, and visibly turned red. Sounding indignant, she asked, "Who told you that?"

"Natsuki," I answered calmly.

Nao snorted. "She doesn't know shit."

"Oh, does this mean that I won't get to be you're first?" I teased, secretly hoping for a positive response.

She looked shocked at my subtle confession. "Mai, are-"

"I'm sorry," I interrupted, and buried my face into the bed covers next to her. "I'm sorry for using you. I'm sorry for not trusting you. I'm sorry that I didn't respond to your feelings sooner. I'm sorry for not running after you that night, and not realizing how much I cared about you."

"Mai," she said softly.

I continued my rant, hoping to explain myself and maybe, get her to forgive me. "I was so afraid before."

She raised an eyebrow. "Of what?"

"Of losing my love the way I lost it with Yuuichi." I wrapped my hand around hers. "But I know now," I said, "it's worth taking the chance. I really want to take a chance with you Nao."

It was hard to believe, but tears started welling in her eyes. Instantly, I felt my heart wrench with her reaction. Insecurity overcame me; it was now or never. She bit her lip in a feeble attempt to control herself. I braced for rejection.

My dearest spider broke into uncontrollable laughter. "That was," she said, before wincing in pain as tremors traveled down her body. "That was the corniest thing I've ever heard." Even though it hurt, she didn't try to stop.

Using her good arm to wipe away the tears, she let her amusement subside. After a few seconds, a devilish grin surfaced on her face. "I'll be glad to take you back if that's the case," she said as if to taunt me. Only Nao would be petty enough to care who broke up with whom. As soon as the grin appeared, it morphed into a sheepish smile as her eyes suddenly studied the window with immense interest. "I lied," she said, continuing before I could respond, "I am a virgin."

A little surprised, but altogether happy, I let her slowly regain her confidence. "I know," I confessed. Replying to her confused look, I said, "I know what you're like. You hate men too much." While it was a shame she didn't really give good men a chance, I was glad that it led to this opportunity for the both of us.

The following weeks were difficult. Fumi visited a few days later informing Nao of her suspension from school. The school board had moved to have the girl expelled for possessing a weapon on campus, but the chairwoman was able to change their minds. However, she was not able to get the red-head back to school. By then, Nao had become well known for killing two men, and an armed fight on campus only worsened her reputation. The local parents had become aware of Nao's existence, and were far from amused with her actions. It had taken great effort on Fumi's part to defend Nao from further punishment from both the school and law enforcement. They told her she could graduate, on the condition she not attend class. For the moment, she was still allowed to live on campus. It didn't help that nearly all the students avoided her like the plague.

As for the boys who attacked her. They were quickly charged with attempted murder of a fellow student and the chairwoman. All of them worked out plea-bargains. While I wanted them to face the full punishment of the law, the fact that Nao did not have to relive the event to testify was definitely a benefit. She claimed she was fine and would gladly do it, but I did not want her to risk it.

Sawatori-san visited a few times. He brought along some expensive looking gifts. I even felt a little jealous of the extra attention, but noted that he seemed to unconsciously cover his groin every time he was near the bed. Nao said something about hitting him, and I think I knew where.

We decided to move in together. As for where, it had yet to be decided. There were, of course, the little details that needed to be worked out. While romantic, the idea of living together existed for far more practical purposes. The two of us simply couldn't afford to live alone, not in a decent place at least. We began scouting areas together during free time. The most promising option, thus far, was a place close Natsuki's office. It wasn't the safest area, but affordable, and near where we worked.

When graduation came by, she wasn't allowed to attend. Numerous objections from parents successfully barred her from the celebration. Nao didn't seem the least bit upset at the decision. She actually appeared quite satisfied as she no longer needed to attend a ceaselessly long ceremony that meant as much to her as it would to a rock.

With her newfound extra time, she dedicated more effort to learning more from Natsuki and expanding the small time business. I finally managed to get a permit for my own Ramen stand. The hours were long, but Nao frequently dropped by for breaks, partly because I opened up shop a couple blocks down from the office. Soon enough, regular customers would stop by for lunch or dinner.

It wasn't easy, but we've made it work. As far as I know, she doesn't actively hunt perverts anymore, unless hired to do so. Due to her unusual expertise, the police have often recruited her for special investigations. I don't believe any of them know of her past.

Nao and I still get into arguments of course; we are human after all. Still, I'm happy now and look forward to the future.

* * *

_Final Notes: I'm not quite sure what to say. Thanks everyone for faithfully following the story and kicking my ass to update. Hopefully, I didn't disappoint you too much with this last chapter. _

_For those of you who occasionally glance at my blog, I'm preparing a humorous review of this story mixed with insights into my writing process. It'll be up in a couple of weeks. _


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